When to get up to feed DD

[Anonymous]

I am usually the one waking up in the middle of the night to feed our almost 6-month old DD. I usually wake up at her first stirring but don't feed her then, usually at the second one I do, which happens between 2 and 4 AM, and she drinks the entire bottle gladly.

In the past couple of days, DH has been getting up at night because I'm sick with a nasty cold and need to get all the rest I can get. He does not wake up when DD stirs, I usually have to nudge him to wake him up. He goes in, looks at her and comes back to bed saying she's still asleep and not moving. Both nights she's sleep until 5 before he fed her.

I am starting to wonder if I am jumping the gun feeding her between 2-4 when she can clearly sleep until 5 AM without a problem. She is not a crier at night, she kind of yelps like Hey, I'm hungry! if we go past 5 AM. I don't know if I should be waiting until she yelps for me to get up and feed her. Maybe like that she will start sleeping through the night until 7 AM one of these days. If she's stirring, I have a hard time sleeping thinking that she might be hungry but I think I can train myself to realize if she were truly hungry she would let me know.

Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I'd say your husband just earned himself a new job. Clearly, he does it "better" than you do or at least that's how I'd play it with my husband.

[Anonymous]

I subscribe to the saying, "Never wake a sleeping baby." DD is two months old and I wait to do her night feeding until she wakes up crying for it. I figure if she's not crying, she's probably not really all that hungry. As a result, she slept through the night a couple of times after about a month, and typically goes at least 5-6 hours between night feedings.

note: if you really hate hearing her cry, have her bottle prepped and ready. I usually have a bottle of water and a pre-measured cup of powdered formula sitting by the side of the bed so that when she cries I can pick her up, dump the formula into the water, mix it quickly and have it to her within a minute.

[Anonymous]

I'd agree with pp about not waking her if she is sleeping until teh 5am feeding. We had issues with our newborn not waking to feed and it became a problem because she started losing weight, but never started gaining it back. However, at 6m she is well established in that area and probably can just go longer between feedings at night.

[Anonymous]

OP here, just wanted to add that she goes to bed at 7:30 so if I feed her at 3AM she's already gone 7 1/2 hours between feedings.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she can go longer. At 6 months she's likely able to go 11-12 hours, but she's conditioned to wake up for food sooner. I'd ignore the stirring and small yelps and see if she settles down and goes back to sleep. If so, she's not hungry -- just conditioned. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Our ped told us that by 6 months, a baby is able to sleep through the night without eating. (Now if they actually sleep through the night is another topic...) Apparently at this age babies wake up at night to feed out of habit, not out of hunger. Our ped recommended that when baby wakes up at night, instead of feeding her to comfort her back to sleep by singing, rubbing her back, giving her the paci, etc but not to feed her. Agree with others that you shouuld not feed her until 5am and take comfort that she's not starving or that she needs to eat before then. Good luck

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks all for your replies. I'll try letting her cry if she's hungry and see how long she can go.

[Anonymous]

When is too young to just try to soothe back to sleep instead of feeding? My DS is 3 1/2 months and the past couple nights he has not really eaten that much at his first wake up, I am like OP up right when he starts to make noise but sometimes I feel like he might go back to sleep without eating. He goes to bed at 8 up between 2-4 then 6-7. Is he too little to try to get him to sleep through that first wake up? He's big 15 lbs so I have never been worried about waking him to feed him more frequently.

[Anonymous]

PP, no he is not too young. My (EBF) baby was down to one feeding by your son's age, around 3-4am, and then was sleeping through the night around 5 months. And she weighed less than your son too.

I didn't let her cry it out, but didn't respond to soft moans and whimpers either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all for your replies. I'll try letting her cry if she's hungry and see how long she can go.

I think that's different than what the PPs were saying. If she's really crying, obviously go feed her. Just don't wake her up to feed her. Even if she's stirring don't feed, just comfort, give paci, etc. Only if she's really obviously hungry and crying.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I meant see how long she can go sleeping, not crying of course.

I tried it last night and she went until 6 AM without crying but started moving around and making little yelps here and there at 4AM. That's how long I slept, once I could hear her move, I couldn't sleep anymore.

Training the mom is going to be way more difficult than training the baby, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I think that your husband has the right idea and in the end it will help the baby to stop waking up at night for a feeding. Good luck! and Kudos to your husband

[Anonymous]

OP- You don't say what your sleeping arrangements are, but you need to change things so that every little stirring, movement, or small yelps don't wake you. If you're still sleeping in the same room or sleeping with the baby monitor on, you might want to consider changing that. You will hear your baby's hunger cries if you are located say, down the hall from her, but then every little thing won't wake you.

[Anonymous]

Your baby has learned to associate you with food. If you go into her room at night, she will insist on it. This is where you need to have set rules and decide before you go to bed who is getting up and at what time her first bottle will be. YOu can't think on the fly at 3am.

I think your husband should do the middle of the night soothes, since she seems to respond to him by rolling over and sleeping. If she's slept until 5 am without eating, then she shouldn't get a bottle until 5 am. Some 6 month olds can do that no problem, some can't (I had one of each - you can tell if your baby absolutely can't make it - the non-stop screaming is a big clue!)

As a friend's pediatrician said "if someone made me a pastrami sandwich every time I woke up, I'd get up at 2 am also!".