Thankful for Family

[Anonymous]

With so many posts about family dysfunctions (yes, I realize that's kind of the point of this particular topic area), I wanted to share how thankful I am for my family this year. My mom, although overbearing and oversensitive, does everything out of love and really just wants to be involved in my life. My brother is typically self-absorbed but made the effort to come visit with his wife and little girl for almost a whole week after Christmas. My in-laws have their quirks as well but are extremely generous, loving people, as are my siblings-in-law. DH works really hard to provide for our family both monetarily and in terms of quality time. DS is a blessing whom we tried very hard to conceive, so even though he is a terrible sleeper at 8 months, I am thankful for him every day. This really hit home over the weekend as mom and brother were in an accident on their way home from visiting us. Brother's car was totaled but both he and my mom are fine, although bruised and shaken. I need to remind myself that I should be thankful to have them in my life. I know this cannot be said for every family member in people's lives, but for me, this year, it is true.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing, OP. It's good that you recognize what you have. Please make sure to articulate directly to your family members that you appreciate them, and why. The need to hear that others appreciate you, cannot be underestimated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for sharing, OP. It's good that you recognize what you have. Please make sure to articulate directly to your family members that you appreciate them, and why. The need to hear that others appreciate you, cannot be underestimated.

OP here, really appreciate this recommendation. Will definitely make a point to do this.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are so cloying, I am throwing up.

[Anonymous]

It's great that you realize how fortunate you are with your family. Happy to hear everyone walked away without a scratch. I think making sure your family know you appreciate them and making time for them despite how busy our day to day lives can get is important. Sometimes when things upset me I look at the bigger picture of how lucky I am in terms of family overall and try to focus on what I have and not what I don't have.

[Anonymous]

How nice for you

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for posting this. It's refreshing, because DCUM can sometimes have useful information and helpful advice but increasingly it's just a repository of vents, whines, and nasty replies. (And typically, you've already got two of the latter.) Your post is a good reminder that even when family members aren't absolutely perfect, we still can love them and know that they love us. Other posters with the same family as you have would have turned it all into something about themselves: The oversensitive mom would have been the subject of a long screed about her awfulness, or your brother or in-laws would have been blasted for every little thing they do that's quirky or doesn't put the poster first....But you recognize that people have flaws yet can be loving and can have other good qualities worth focusing on. And you don't try to make your family relationships ALL about your own self and having every single one of your emotional needs met ideally by family members. That's very rare on this forum!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, thank you for posting this. It's refreshing, because DCUM can sometimes have useful information and helpful advice but increasingly it's just a repository of vents, whines, and nasty replies. (And typically, you've already got two of the latter.) Your post is a good reminder that even when family members aren't absolutely perfect, we still can love them and know that they love us. Other posters with the same family as you have would have turned it all into something about themselves: The oversensitive mom would have been the subject of a long screed about her awfulness, or your brother or in-laws would have been blasted for every little thing they do that's quirky or doesn't put the poster first....But you recognize that people have flaws yet can be loving and can have other good qualities worth focusing on. And you don't try to make your family relationships ALL about your own self and having every single one of your emotional needs met ideally by family members. That's very rare on this forum!

You're welcome. I'm happy that even a couple of people can identify with my post and think about their blessings rather than their burdens for just a second. Choosing to ignore the nasty replies.

[Anonymous]

I think that is very nice and a good reminder for all of us. None of us is perfect, and it is good to focus on the positive, especially right after the holidays when a lot of family issues are felt more strongly.

[Anonymous]

NP here. OP, I hope you are grateful of what you have, tell them, and realize that not everyone is so fortunate.

Regarding the latter, I hope you are supportive of people you know who are not as fortunate. I feel this is important because my friends with close family can sometimes be the most draining and insufferable, because they know no other way. They truly do take their situation for granted.

In addition, remember that things are not always what they seem. You may think someone else has it better or worse, when in fact they may have a situation that is the opposite. You really do never know.

Abstain from judgment, and you will keep a good life. Karma is in fact, real - whether you want to believe it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, I hope you are grateful of what you have, tell them, and realize that not everyone is so fortunate.

Regarding the latter, I hope you are supportive of people you know who are not as fortunate. I feel this is important because my friends with close family can sometimes be the most draining and insufferable, because they know no other way. They truly do take their situation for granted.

In addition, remember that things are not always what they seem. You may think someone else has it better or worse, when in fact they may have a situation that is the opposite. You really do never know.

Abstain from judgment, and you will keep a good life. Karma is in fact, real - whether you want to believe it or not.

I'm curious as to how your friends that have close family are draining? Not an ounce of snark, etc.- just curious as I can't see how its related........being a difficult friend seems independent of having good or bad family relationships that friends aren't involved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, I hope you are grateful of what you have, tell them, and realize that not everyone is so fortunate.

Regarding the latter, I hope you are supportive of people you know who are not as fortunate. I feel this is important because my friends with close family can sometimes be the most draining and insufferable, because they know no other way. They truly do take their situation for granted.

In addition, remember that things are not always what they seem. You may think someone else has it better or worse, when in fact they may have a situation that is the opposite. You really do never know.

Abstain from judgment, and you will keep a good life. Karma is in fact, real - whether you want to believe it or not.

OP's post judged no one, certainly not others' families. Your post seems to mean well but is off base; OP isn't saying "My family's ideal, look at our perfections." Anything but.

It sounds almost as if you're warning her off daring to say her relationships are good and valued ones, lest she bring bad vibes down on her own head because others have less happy families.
And you and I have no idea whether she's "supportive of people who are not as fortunate" but I would bet that anyone who is able to be as kind about others' foibles and situations as she is in the post is also able to be kind to those outside her family.