so: capital hill weird listings by faison WTF

[Anonymous]

I would be pissef if my home was listed like this.

http://www.realestateindc.com/proplisting.php

Here are a few samples

Summary
Head hung low, slowly you go, into your cave, for long hibernate, but wait - over your shoulder, first a smolder, then warmth & blazing light, natural wood, cool stone, steel & stainless. Crisp, cleansing air in there, as only Rainbow Properties can provide - you decide - reside in art, right by the park, fitting so many family & friends you’ll start charging them rent

Summary
Head hung low, slowly you go, into your cave, for long hibernate, but wait - over your shoulder, first a smolder, then warmth & blazing light, natural wood, cool stone, steel & stainless. Crisp, cleansing air in there, as only Rainbow Properties can provide - you decide - reside in art, right by the park, fitting so many family & friends you’ll start charging them rent

Summary
Wait! You live on THAT block? Coveted Steuart Square Sunlit Labyrinth w/Sky-Seeking Disposition. Multifaceted, the anti-cube, requisite ignited, extolled expectations surpassed by a mile. I cooked for 8, we talked by the fire till late, then slept like the lady in the mattress commercial. Bring trampoline, tennis balls & as many elbows as you please. A grand-piano pad @ Harpsichord $ per SQ FT.

[Anonymous]

annoying

I couldn't get through the first few lines.

not witty, just very UNinformative

[Anonymous]

http://dc.urbanturf.com/articles/blog/dcs_poet_realtor/6265

[Anonymous]

I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

You're an ass.

and not a smart one either

[Anonymous]

My excellent realtor has the best response to listings like this:

"How big is the damn dining room??"

[Anonymous]

For me, the problem isn't that the listings aren't straightforward. It's that they're nonsensical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

You're an ass.

and not a smart one either

So I'm a dumb-ass because I disagree with OP? Please explain how my comment makes ME the dumb-ass. I think it actually proves that OP is the dumb-ass here. If you don't like the way this realtor writes, don't FUCKING hire him!! for OP to say they would be pissed makes zero sense. OP wouldn't be pissed BECAUSE OP WOULD NOT HAVE HIRED HIM FROM THE START. are you following me on this one? Christ already

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, the problem isn't that the listings aren't straightforward. It's that they're nonsensical.

Agree. I try to read it but it reads and rhymes more like a really bad rap song than like poetry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

You're an ass.

and not a smart one either

So I'm a dumb-ass because I disagree with OP? Please explain how my comment makes ME the dumb-ass. I think it actually proves that OP is the dumb-ass here. If you don't like the way this realtor writes, don't FUCKING hire him!! for OP to say they would be pissed makes zero sense. OP wouldn't be pissed BECAUSE OP WOULD NOT HAVE HIRED HIM FROM THE START. are you following me on this one? Christ already

Maybe OP is trying to buy a house and coming across his listings. They ARE hard to decipher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

You're an ass.

and not a smart one either

So I'm a dumb-ass because I disagree with OP? Please explain how my comment makes ME the dumb-ass. I think it actually proves that OP is the dumb-ass here. If you don't like the way this realtor writes, don't FUCKING hire him!! for OP to say they would be pissed makes zero sense. OP wouldn't be pissed BECAUSE OP WOULD NOT HAVE HIRED HIM FROM THE START. are you following me on this one? Christ already

No because OP said "I'd be pissed if MY listing were written like this...."

maybe OP needs to learn how to write?

Maybe OP is trying to buy a house and coming across his listings. They ARE hard to decipher.

[Anonymous]

What a a shitty realtor

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. Turn your listing into an art form by all means, but stay clear and informative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a a shitty realtor

That is all you have to add? you sound like one of his Capital Hill competitors just trying to pile on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it! How refreshing and interesting, and yes I would be more apt to see these properties simply because of the poetic descriptions.

By the way OP - as someone listing your home with Faison, you would know already that this is how he writes his listings so your comment makes no sense that you would be pissed. He would show you a sample of his work before you sign on the dotted line....so you just wouldn't sign. right? I bet you live in gaithersburg or rockville, or somewhere in Loudon.

You're an ass.

and not a smart one either

So I'm a dumb-ass because I disagree with OP? Please explain how my comment makes ME the dumb-ass. I think it actually proves that OP is the dumb-ass here. If you don't like the way this realtor writes, don't FUCKING hire him!! for OP to say they would be pissed makes zero sense. OP wouldn't be pissed BECAUSE OP WOULD NOT HAVE HIRED HIM FROM THE START. are you following me on this one? Christ already

NP here. I think you're an ass becuase you assume that if someone doesn't like his inane listings, that they must be a suburbanite and further, that there is something wrong with being a suburbanite.