When is it over ?

[Anonymous]

DH here. Wife is very angry with me and has withheld affection/sexual relations for about four years. While I have understood why she is angry (financial setbacks) I find the lack of positive,loving affection has slowly eroded my feelings of love and affection for her; at what point do you have to say enough is enough, and it is time to start anew by moving on ?

[Anonymous]

I would have given up four years ago. Finances has nothing to do with sex. If you are not being fulfilled, leave.

[Anonymous]

Four years! Holy cow. I've been mad at DH for idiotic things he has done for a few weeks, or a few months tops. Explain what you mean by withholding affection for 4 years. Really? Counseling to work out issues now or it's over. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Four years! Holy cow. I've been mad at DH for idiotic things he has done for a few weeks, or a few months tops. Explain what you mean by withholding affection for 4 years. Really? Counseling to work out issues now or it's over. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

No intimacy; no cuddling, hugs, etc. Basically no physical contact. Did kiss for New Years last night on the lips. Told her last nite that we had a chance to not have gone the whole year without sex - then I mentioned that we haven't had sex this decade - she joked that she had a couple of years to go for that. I looked at her like you may not get that choice. She is just very angry.

[Anonymous]

Woman here. I'm sorry but this is about more than finances. Maybe it started with that and if so, it seems to have snowballed. Ugh I hate it to say it but it doesn't sound like she cares much for you. Do you have kids? If not I'd move on. If you have kids try counselling. If she's not into that or it doesn't work, focus on yourself and the kids - there are other fish in the sea.

[Anonymous]

Wow, four years??? Really!!! Sorry OP that is just non sense. Time to either have a very direct talk, B) get counseling or C) start talking separation.

[Anonymous]

22:38 here. OPa- you said its b/c of financial setback so what, did you lose all the savings gambling or something? What financial setback could be all your fault and unforgivable?

[Anonymous]

Think you already know the answer. You just know. It's finally over when you say it is. Don't blame her entirely because I'm sure you are equally blameworthy. Do what you have to do and move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

This is messed up. Unless you did something that is unforgivable in her eyes - like had a baby with her sister?

Else, this is extreme.

[Anonymous]

Say goodbye. She is a real entitled bitch. She will miss you when you're gone, but won't ever change, at least not permanently. That would require a new personality (new brain, new DNA).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I'm sorry but this is about more than finances. Maybe it started with that and if so, it seems to have snowballed. Ugh I hate it to say it but it doesn't sound like she cares much for you. Do you have kids? If not I'd move on. If you have kids try counselling. If she's not into that or it doesn't work, focus on yourself and the kids - there are other fish in the sea.

+ 100

There is more to this than you're telling us OP. It's fine if you don't want to spill it here but at least be honest with yourself.

[Anonymous]

When you discuss it