Is it rude to sell unwanted Christmas gifts from grandparents?

[Anonymous]

MIL enjoys shopping for our kids, and often buys whatever exciting toy her friends are getting their grandkids. Which is lovely. But this year, DS got a very nice, very expensive plasma car. DS told me privately that he doesn't want it, he used one at his former preschool and now prefers his bike, balance bike or scooter. It's now sitting in the corner of our packed family room. He's asked me if we could sell it to buy something else, which we have done with old toys in the past, but have never done with gifts. I'd love to get rid of the thing, but I know my MIL will notice it's gone. She would never say anything about it, but it will hurt her feelings which I'd prefer not to do. Then again, it might be nice if she checked in with me before she buys large or expensive gifts. Would you sell it? DS really doesn't want it, and we don't have the space to store it, but it just feels rude to me to sell it.

[Anonymous]

Take a picture of your son with it. Then sell.

Send her an email or thank you note with the pic.

[Anonymous]

No I would not sell it.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her what you told us, that he expressed that he prefers his balance bike but doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so could she provide a gift receipt which you could use to exchange it for something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her what you told us, that he expressed that he prefers his balance bike but doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so could she provide a gift receipt which you could use to exchange it for something else.

This. Be honest and let her know it's awkward but you feel guilty that she was so excited about the gift and it isn't something DS would really enjoy as much as you'd hoped. DONT say that DS mentioned selling. Don't even mention selling it yourself. Maybe ask if she still has the recipt or ask where she got it to see if it could be exchanged.

Being honest in this situation is totally fine. The bonus is that it might make her more likely to check with you ahead of purchases from now on.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the gift giver. In my case, my MIL would be SO OFFENDED with that, but my mother will say to me upon giving the gift, "I have the receipt upstairs if it doesn't fit or if you don't like it..."

Also, it is our experience in our families that the people who give the "cool" gifts like to be known for giving the cool gifts (which is how we ended up with a basement-level condo filled to the brim with ride-on toys and impractical outdoor things when we had ZERO outdoor space.) Yes, they all would have been offended to arrive and NOT see the giant blow-up pool they had given last birthday, etc.

The people who actually wouldn't be offended ask us up front if getting our child X would make a good gift- do we have room? Would he like that? Or what would he like?

So for this one, I'm going to go with yes, that would be rude. Don't do it. When he "outgrows" it, it could go to the yard sale. I also think you want to be cautious about the message you send to a young child about gifts. Even if they are highly impractical and not well liked, they are a gesture of good will / caring, etc. You would probably be mortified if your son announced that you guys "just sell gifts we don't like," or something to that effect.

[Anonymous]

How old is your son? 3, 4, 5? Kids that age can change their minds pretty fast. I think I'd tell him that I wanted to get some pictures of him playing in the car before we told Grandma that he wanted something else. Sometimes playing with a toy in a totally different environment can be a big difference. You (and he) might be surprised to see that he actually enjoys his car at home.

[Anonymous]

I would sell it. Don't lie to her about it. I think its fine if you don't want to go out of your way to tell her you are getting rid of it but if she ever did ask about it, be honest.

[Anonymous]

I think selling gifts seems too mercenary. I'd try the polite approach suggested of asking if she has the receipt. If not, maybe give it to someone who needs it. Imagine what a gift like that would do for a family in need, or a daycare center or A Wider Circle. It just seems too crass to sell gifts, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Just a guess, but I'd be willing to wager it's not your son that doesn't want it, it's you. Also, if it was from your parents instead of your MIL, you might be more inclined to keep it. I'm pretty sure whatever MIL bought, you'd find fault with unless she bought what you specifically asked.

I've been there. It's a terrible way to live. Let MIL buy what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to keep it at her house for when you visit.

[Anonymous]

No! Get that money honey

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a guess, but I'd be willing to wager it's not your son that doesn't want it, it's you. Also, if it was from your parents instead of your MIL, you might be more inclined to keep it. I'm pretty sure whatever MIL bought, you'd find fault with unless she bought what you specifically asked.

I've been there. It's a terrible way to live. Let MIL buy what she wants.

I'm not the OP, but you are making a LOT of assumptions. More precisely, you are projecting. Heavily. As you admit ("I've been there").

I don't think OP's post suggests this at all. It is entirely possible for a kid to dislike a gift. And why would she lie to us about what her son said?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her what you told us, that he expressed that he prefers his balance bike but doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so could she provide a gift receipt which you could use to exchange it for something else.

This. Be honest and let her know it's awkward but you feel guilty that she was so excited about the gift and it isn't something DS would really enjoy as much as you'd hoped. DONT say that DS mentioned selling. Don't even mention selling it yourself. Maybe ask if she still has the recipt or ask where she got it to see if it could be exchanged.

Being honest in this situation is totally fine. The bonus is that it might make her more likely to check with you ahead of purchases from now on.

This. Grandma here.

[Anonymous]

I keep new unused expensive gifts for a year, take some pictures like a PP said of my child with the gift and then after that year, I sell it as "unused". This way, the gifter has a chance to see it around the house a few times and knows that it was around. Keep it for next year and if your DS says that he doesn't like next year's gift, you sell this year's plasma car and get something new. The other good side effect for this is occasionally, after several months, the child actually tries the gift and finds out the (s)he likes it. So occasionally, the gift ends up being used. And other times, the gift can fund a replacement gift for something else. Despite being in our 40's, my sister still has no idea what I like, but she loves to shop, so I have years of clothes and other gifts in the closet that slowly get sold via consignment or Ebay to help buy other gifts for myself or my kids.