Violence at Lafayette, thoughts?

[Anonymous]

The following was posted to the Chevy Chase listserv. My kids go here but in the older grades. I am saddened by it.

There was an incident on Wednesday December 10th on the playground
> at recess where several 2nd grade boys were kicking and hitting a
> 1st grade boy (our son). We received a call from the school that
> afternoon, letting us know that our son had been hit in the eye –
> that his eye was red and puffy, but no permanent damage. When my
> husband arrived to pick our son up from school that afternoon, he
> was then told by both the school counselor and our son's teacher
> that it was more than a punch in the eye – that several boys were
> kicking and hitting our son.
>
> That night one of the father's of the 2nd grade boys called to
> apologize (which we very much appreciated) and to assure us that his
> son would be reprimanded. The next day we started to receive calls
> from parents of other kids that saw what happened on the playground
–
> wanting to make sure our son was okay and to see what was being
> done about the incident.
>
> While I certainly hope the parents and the school reprimand the boys
> involved and take this opportunity to explain how dangerous it is to
> hit/kick another child, to explain that we are lucky there wasn't
> more physical harm done other than bruises and a puffy eye and that
> bullying is not tolerated; I'm just as concerned about how this
> happened in the first place and how the school has handled the
> incident.
>
> First – I'm concerned that there is not enough supervision on the
> playground – that an incident like this could have escalated to
the
> point that it did. Second, I'm disappointed in the way the school
> has handled our concerns. We have placed several calls to the
> school asking for an update and/or a meeting with the principle and
> were told that she was busy giving a tour to VIPs and would be in
> meetings all day Friday – that she could meet with us sometime
next
> week. I also left the school counselor a voicemail message on
> Thursday afternoon – letting her know that we were concerned that
we
> have not heard back from anyone at school and that we would like an
> update on the situation and asked for her to call me back. As of
> 3:15PM Friday – we have not received any calls from anyone at the
> school lettings us know if and how the situation is being handled.
> So far – the only information we have is from other families of
kids
> that saw the incident and the little detail we received from the
> school counselor the day of the incident and our teacher.
>
> Thanks to those that have been concerned - I'm happy to update you
> once we know more about the incident and the school's response.

[Anonymous]

And this is exactly the reason that many DC residents attend private schools. I am appalled. It is not like Lafayette is in a rough neighborhood by any stretch, yet to hear that there is this kind of violence during a structured recess period is simply unacceptable.

Where was the oversight at recess?
Where was the proper notification to the parents of the child involved?
What steps are being taken with respect to the offending children?
What steps are being taken to ensure this activity will not be tolerated. Period?

What is worse is the response, or lack thereof, from the school.

[Anonymous]

"And this is exactly the reason that many DC residents attend private schools."

I have heard stories about recess at Sidwell that are equally horrible.A friend pulled her son (in preK) after he was being repeatedly kicked while on the ground (by K boys) and the teachers' response and admin response was basically that boys will be boys and that they felt recess was the time for the kids to work it out themselves.

The above Lafayette story is really heartbreaking and horrible, but it is not because it is a public school that it happened. Recess is pretty universally poorly managed I think.
The administration's response to the family is absolutely unacceptable and it sounds as if every step along the way was a collossal mismanagement and does make me wonder what is going on at lafayette. I am really sorry for the little boy and his family.

[Anonymous]

1) I highly doubt the Sidwell story

2) At least the Sidwell administration, according to your story, was willing to talk to the parent, even if the response was not deemed acceptable.

[Anonymous]

1)You can highly doubt it but it happened to my friend.
2)I am by no means standing up for Lafayette's response- I think it is unforgivable. But I am saying violence happens everywhere- and don't think things like that would never happen at a private school.
(per the previous email:
"And this is exactly the reason that many DC residents attend private schools." ).
I am certainly not defending lafayette's response in anyway, I was responding to the comment above and do not think the episode at lafayette should be snowballed into a public vs private conversation. It could have, and has, happened anywhere.
I have no interest in any more back and forth with you on the truthfulness of my friend's experience.

[Anonymous]

I agree PP. I've heard stories about both St. Albans and NCS that are far, FAR worse.

[Anonymous]

I am shocked and saddened that this happened at Lafayette--it's supposed to be "the best" public in the district--can't imagine why teachers didn't see any of this happening at 1st grade recess. The school admin better be on top of this and vocal, otherwise CC parents will go nuts and this will snowball. IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked and saddened that this happened at Lafayette--it's supposed to be "the best" public in the district--can't imagine why teachers didn't see any of this happening at 1st grade recess. The school admin better be on top of this and vocal, otherwise CC parents will go nuts and this will snowball. IMO

Not the best public. It is among the best DCPS, but that's not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The following was posted to the Chevy Chase listserv. My kids go here but in the older grades. I am saddened by it.

There was an incident on Wednesday December 10th on the playground
> at recess where several 2nd grade boys were kicking and hitting a
> 1st grade boy (our son). We received a call from the school that
> afternoon, letting us know that our son had been hit in the eye –
> that his eye was red and puffy, but no permanent damage. When my
> husband arrived to pick our son up from school that afternoon, he
> was then told by both the school counselor and our son's teacher
> that it was more than a punch in the eye – that several boys were
> kicking and hitting our son.
>
> That night one of the father's of the 2nd grade boys called to
> apologize (which we very much appreciated) and to assure us that his
> son would be reprimanded. The next day we started to receive calls
> from parents of other kids that saw what happened on the playground
–
> wanting to make sure our son was okay and to see what was being
> done about the incident.
>
> While I certainly hope the parents and the school reprimand the boys
> involved and take this opportunity to explain how dangerous it is to
> hit/kick another child, to explain that we are lucky there wasn't
> more physical harm done other than bruises and a puffy eye and that
> bullying is not tolerated; I'm just as concerned about how this
> happened in the first place and how the school has handled the
> incident.
>
> First – I'm concerned that there is not enough supervision on the
> playground – that an incident like this could have escalated to
the
> point that it did. Second, I'm disappointed in the way the school
> has handled our concerns. We have placed several calls to the
> school asking for an update and/or a meeting with the principle and
> were told that she was busy giving a tour to VIPs and would be in
> meetings all day Friday – that she could meet with us sometime
next
> week. I also left the school counselor a voicemail message on
> Thursday afternoon – letting her know that we were concerned that
we
> have not heard back from anyone at school and that we would like an
> update on the situation and asked for her to call me back. As of
> 3:15PM Friday – we have not received any calls from anyone at the
> school lettings us know if and how the situation is being handled.
> So far – the only information we have is from other families of
kids
> that saw the incident and the little detail we received from the
> school counselor the day of the incident and our teacher.
>
> Thanks to those that have been concerned - I'm happy to update you
> once we know more about the incident and the school's response.

Was there a racial element to this?

[Anonymous]

As a follow up- the mother of the boy attacked said the Principal called her on Friday evening and they have a meeting set up for MOnday morning.

[Anonymous]

This is an incident that happened at Lafayette. It shouldn't be used to rule on the suitability of all of DCPS. My dc was just sexually harassed at a private school, which I doubt would have happened at her DCPS for various reasons. You don't see me saying that that is a good reason to avoid private school.

[Anonymous]

I was a counselor at a private school and what happened at Lafayette happened at my school and worse. The difference is that I was on it FAST, whereas my admin. was ALWAYS foot-dragging.

I will admit that sometimes the machinery of public school can get in the way of itself, but there is not inherent safety in the privates either. They can be VERY good at the cover up or minimizing!

[Anonymous]

To the original poster on DCUM, if you're going to start the conversation, at least be responsible and post the response from the original poster on the CCLS:

I was the original poster about an incident at recess. My only intent
was to draw attention to the lack of supervision and the lack of
communication with the victim's family.

I thought that posting again might bring more negative attention, but
one of the families thought it would help.

Below are 3 things I could have done better.

1) My message was muddled by my sensationalised subject line. This
has caused heartache for the families involved and I apologise.

2) The school actually did act quickly in terms of punishment. I
did not know this, given the inexcusable and unhelpful shroud of
secrecy around what should have been a great learning opportunity for
the student body.

3) I have complained about the amount of opinion offered on The
List. In my post I offered my opinion on punishment, that is
hypocrisy.

I posted because I love the school and expect better from it. I am
making my screw up public and apologising for it. That's what is
expected of adults.

As to the second point, "shroud of secrecy" is known as privacy. When students are punished (whether by their own parents or by the school), it is no one's business but that child's and his/her family.

I find it disturbing when people who have no connection to a situation, nor first-hand knowledge of a situation, criticize the actions of those involved. There's something to be said for being well-informed prior to sounding the siren. I am in no way excusing the actions of the students - although I believe the incident, due to the "sensationalized subject line" was blown out of proportion. I just think that with email/listservs/blogs etc., we're too quick to judge before we have all of the facts.

And as to the "great learning opportunity," I think that -everyone-, school community and beyond, has learned much from this unfortunate event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The following was posted to the Chevy Chase listserv. My kids go here but in the older grades. I am saddened by it.

There was an incident on Wednesday December 10th on the playground
> at recess where several 2nd grade boys were kicking and hitting a
> 1st grade boy (our son). We received a call from the school that
> afternoon, letting us know that our son had been hit in the eye –
> that his eye was red and puffy, but no permanent damage. When my
> husband arrived to pick our son up from school that afternoon, he
> was then told by both the school counselor and our son's teacher
> that it was more than a punch in the eye – that several boys were
> kicking and hitting our son.
>
> That night one of the father's of the 2nd grade boys called to
> apologize (which we very much appreciated) and to assure us that his
> son would be reprimanded. The next day we started to receive calls
> from parents of other kids that saw what happened on the playground
–
> wanting to make sure our son was okay and to see what was being
> done about the incident.
>
> While I certainly hope the parents and the school reprimand the boys
> involved and take this opportunity to explain how dangerous it is to
> hit/kick another child, to explain that we are lucky there wasn't
> more physical harm done other than bruises and a puffy eye and that
> bullying is not tolerated; I'm just as concerned about how this
> happened in the first place and how the school has handled the
> incident.
>
> First – I'm concerned that there is not enough supervision on the
> playground – that an incident like this could have escalated to
the
> point that it did. Second, I'm disappointed in the way the school
> has handled our concerns. We have placed several calls to the
> school asking for an update and/or a meeting with the principle and
> were told that she was busy giving a tour to VIPs and would be in
> meetings all day Friday – that she could meet with us sometime
next
> week. I also left the school counselor a voicemail message on
> Thursday afternoon – letting her know that we were concerned that
we
> have not heard back from anyone at school and that we would like an
> update on the situation and asked for her to call me back. As of
> 3:15PM Friday – we have not received any calls from anyone at the
> school lettings us know if and how the situation is being handled.
> So far – the only information we have is from other families of
kids
> that saw the incident and the little detail we received from the
> school counselor the day of the incident and our teacher.
>
> Thanks to those that have been concerned - I'm happy to update you
> once we know more about the incident and the school's response.

Sadly, this is not the first such incident to happen at Lafayette. About a year ago, a friend's child was attacked on the playground by 5 boys, badly beaten--some of the boys stomping on his head and neck. Apparently the playground supervisor or teacher was on her cellphone at the time. The child had to have CAT scans and MRIs and was thankfully alright. Nonetheless, the school, and the headmistress in particular did next to nothing. Three of the boys were suspended for one day, two others (one whose parent worked at the school) were not even reprimanded. 4 out of the 5 were out of boundary students. In that case too, when the parents tried to get information as to what the school was doing about the incident, the administration tried to keep everything secret, even telling children who witnessed the attack not to say anything.

IMHO, the attacking kids should have been expelled for such a brutal attack, especially since they are out of boundary. Apparently this group had been instigators of other problems at school, but no one dares do anything.

I had really hoped to send my child to public school in DC, at least through the younger years, but after hearing about my friend's ordeal at Lafayette, a "blue ribbon school", I can't do it.

As I told my friend, these incidents need publicity--the more parents that know about it, the more pressure for change. How embarassing for one of the star schools? My friend chose not to publicize it for fear of retaliation against her children. Apparently, even though the school would not give her the names of the attackers, someone at the school gave out my friend's name and phone number to one of the attacker's parents, who then called her to pressure her not to bring criminal charges......

[Anonymous]

[As to the second point, "shroud of secrecy" is known as privacy. When students are punished (whether by their own parents or by the school), it is no one's business but that child's and his/her family.

I find it disturbing when people who have no connection to a situation, nor first-hand knowledge of a situation, criticize the actions of those involved. There's something to be said for being well-informed prior to sounding the siren. I am in no way excusing the actions of the students - although I believe the incident, due to the "sensationalized subject line" was blown out of proportion. I just think that with email/listservs/blogs etc., we're too quick to judge before we have all of the facts.

And as to the "great learning opportunity," I think that -everyone-, school community and beyond, has learned much from this unfortunate event.

Oh yes, by all means, let's protect the privacy of the kids who committed the attack. I couldn't disagree more with you--it is very much the business of the victim and his family what punishment they get.

Our schools would be a heck of alot better if we had a zero tolerance policy for violence and consequences for taking such actions were well-known. It's called deterrence and it actually works.....

Oh, and I am doubtful Lafayette has learned anything, since this isn't the first such incident. Why should Lafayette's admin. learn or change, they haven't had to face any consequences.