I bring it on myself - "let's invite your parents! I'll make candy for the neighbors, I'll make dinner on Saturday, I'll watch the kids while you all go watch football all day, etc...."
But when I'm invited to someone's home, and I'm staying FOR A WEEK, and they have multiple toddlers, I try to help. I do my dishes (and theirs), I cook or treat for a meal, I try to entertain the kids, or help around the house, or whatever... I try not to be an imposition. I rent a car. I put my dishes in the dishwasher. I ask questions about them, their lives, what they're interested in etc.... basically I make at least polite interested conversation. None of these things are happening in my house right now. I feel like a short-order cook, maid and nanny. And they brought a cold with them which we've now all caught and they want to use my car on the one day I had free to run errands, get out of the house, etc... And I'm burning vacation time for this privilege. I know I'm blessed that my children have loving grandparents, I know things could be much worse. But right now I just want my quiet, lonely, single life back for a couple of days!!!!! Thanks for indulging my vent... |
Grow a spine.
"Sorry mil, I need the car that day. But enterprise will pick you up and you'll have your rental for whatever you need to do." |
OP, did they know that the day they asked to use your car was the one day that you had free to run errands and get out of the house? Why do you frontload small issues like that?
You are coming across as a professional martyr. |
Meh - sometimes a vent is just a vent. They don't need solutions, just someone to listen. I am sure the OP is well aware of all your handy solutions PPs, and she did mention that it was a *vent*, nothing more a few times. Annoying things are allowed to be annoying without the person graduating to martyr status. She just needed to get it off her chest. We're all human here.
Sorry you are having a rough go of it, OP. Been there! Hopefully the next few days go quickly for you! |
+1! |
Thx to the latter posters. I'm not a martyr - just a tired mom who likes to be a great hostess and was venting last night.
Should have known I'd trigger some vitriol but whatever... Happy New Year's all. |
I hear ya OP. In fact I was wondering if I posted and forgot. Hope you get some quiet time once the guests are gone. And it sounds like you are a fabulous host! You are creating great memories and lessons for your family. |
It's so hard to force yourself to ask for what you need, isn't it? But do that. "Joan, would you please change Charlotte's diaper and run the dishwasher while I take Aiden to run a couple of errands? Thanks for pitching in!" |
...and then go sit in Panera with a book for an hour. Come back refreshed. |
If my MIL needs the car the one day I have to run errands, then I drive my wife to her office, drop her off and go run errands. Then I'll go pick her up at the end of the day. Or tell your husband to ask someone in his office for a ride to and from work that day to accommodate his parents. |