Would you consider this an affair?

[Anonymous]

What would you make of this relationship. I have a good friend. She has been "friends" with a really great guy (he is married) for the past three and a half years. They do things like meet for lunch or the occasional dinner or maybe a concert or movie. They have never been sexual in any way, but she speaks very admiringly of him and he of her. They greet each other with cheek kisses. As there is no sex involved, their relationship does not meet the legal definition of adultery, but would a reasonable person looking from the outside assume they are having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Does the wife know he's spending time with her? Does the wife know about her and know they are friends?

If so, then why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Depends how often the lunches are, and how it impacts his marriage.

[Anonymous]

Affair-in-the-making

[Anonymous]

They meet 2-3 times per month always in public places and attend one gala event together each year. The DW does not know her. DW has actually engaged in adultery - legally provable and the DH does want out. They are separated but not divorced.

[Anonymous]

They're separated? I think that if a couple is married, and living together, and one is going out with a member of the opposite sex (this is assuming an opposite couple, of course) without telling the other then they're hiding something, which is problematic.

On the other hand, if they're separated, not living together, and not communicating on a daily basis, then I don't think there's anything wrong with having coffee or going to the movies with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They meet 2-3 times per month always in public places and attend one gala event together each year. The DW does not know her. DW has actually engaged in adultery - legally provable and the DH does want out. They are separated but not divorced.

then what's the problem? Why didn't you mention in your original post that he is currently separated from his wife and looking to divorce? A man, who is separated from his wife and pursuing a divorce, is spending time with a woman by going to the movies or what have you but not engaging in a sexual relationship.

I don't understand what you're trying to figure out?

[Anonymous]

Are they separated but still under the same roof?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They meet 2-3 times per month always in public places and attend one gala event together each year. The DW does not know her. DW has actually engaged in adultery - legally provable and the DH does want out. They are separated but not divorced.

You seem to know an awful lot about these people. Are you the DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They meet 2-3 times per month always in public places and attend one gala event together each year. The DW does not know her. DW has actually engaged in adultery - legally provable and the DH does want out. They are separated but not divorced.

You seem to know an awful lot about these people. Are you the DH?

Or, the wife?

FTR, I see no issues here at all. Even if he is fucking her.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They meet 2-3 times per month always in public places and attend one gala event together each year. The DW does not know her. DW has actually engaged in adultery - legally provable and the DH does want out. They are separated but not divorced.

You seem to know an awful lot about these people. Are you the DH?

Yes, you sound like the DH. Are you worried that your wife is trying to nail you for also having an affair? A reasonable observer would probably conclude that the two are dating, which it sounds like they might be.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with this, at all.

[Anonymous]

They are separated but not divorced.

From your description, we couldn't possibly know if this is an affair or just friends. As long as the husband and and wife are separated, it doesn't matter what it is.

[Anonymous]

Probably DH's divorce lawyer advised he can't consummate his relationship iwth the new woman until the divorce is final. If he does it before, then it jeopardizes his standing (who is at fault) in the divorce.