So annoyed

[Anonymous]

Traveling to our hometown with our newborn for 7 days. Spending 4 day (including Xmas eve and Xmas morning) with his folks and SIL , 2.5 with mine. SIL flew in to see us, so I felt that was fair. I got sick with a cold and fever. MIL knows we are to be at my parents house by 1. They ended up putting on a shit show for us for Xmas, and want us to continue opening gifts, stockings, and to eat with them after 1 has come and gone. My folks have plans for us too. I talk to my DH, tell him we have to get moving, we argue, SIl overhears us and turns into a brat. I understand a little, My DH's family is way more fun and inviting, but we did tell my folks... Childless SIL then says we stayed in bed too late and tries to blame us. They never gave us a wake up time, I have a cold and fever and newborn. I was up half the night sick and taking care of her and almost lost it. His mom acted like we had punched her in the stomach. Meanwhile, if MIL would just be kind enough to invite my folks over to celebrate Xmas eve or Xmas with them , these problems wouldn't arise. But she won't do it.

They are so generous with us, so I feel so bad for leaving like that, but I am pissed.

[Anonymous]

Where was your DH when you were up sick with the baby?

[Anonymous]

How do you stay in bed too late when you have a newborn? I must be missing something.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. You have your own child now. From now on you stay home for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you stay in bed too late when you have a newborn? I must be missing something.

I could see a newborn nursing at 5 or 6am and then going to sleep for 4 hours. If I had been up all night on and off, I'd "sleep in."

[Anonymous]

I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

So the only child in the house was a newborn infant and grown adults were expected to begin opening presents at 7am??? Is that correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. You have your own child now. From now on you stay home for Christmas.

Thanks. Traditions are so important to my DH. I tried to get him to change it to open some presents te night before, but he threw a fit. I told him every time we come down again we have to do a two family dinner. That way both families feel less left out.

I really like his family for the most part, I do. But their lack of empathy for us in our situation is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

So the only child in the house was a newborn infant and grown adults were expected to begin opening presents at 7am??? Is that correct?

Yes

[Anonymous]

What I think the most ridiculous thing is is that tu give each other thousands of dollars worth of gifts. Who can afford that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

So the only child in the house was a newborn infant and grown adults were expected to begin opening presents at 7am??? Is that correct?

Yes

Yikes! This is insane. Next fall, set up some appointments with a therapist for you and DH to negotiate how you will spend the holidays. Sounds like you all need a neutral third party to help you walk through this minefield of "tradition" and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. You have your own child now. From now on you stay home for Christmas.

Thanks. Traditions are so important to my DH. I tried to get him to change it to open some presents te night before, but he threw a fit. I told him every time we come down again we have to do a two family dinner. That way both families feel less left out.

I really like his family for the most part, I do. But their lack of empathy for us in our situation is insane.

Great. Now he needs to grow up and realize that he is married with a child, and it's time to start his own family traditions that don't necessarily include his mommy and daddy and bratty little sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

So the only child in the house was a newborn infant and grown adults were expected to begin opening presents at 7am??? Is that correct?

Yes

That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him get up and help change her. But he can fall
Right back asleep. Baby slept okay, just had to feed an change her. I was sick and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I guess she expected us to be up and downstairs at 7 (but we were never told a time). I was up, but baby was sleeping and couldn't be left alone (I knew shed wake up screaming and hungry). So I had to wait to feed her. We were down by 8.

So the only child in the house was a newborn infant and grown adults were expected to begin opening presents at 7am??? Is that correct?

Yes

Yikes! This is insane. Next fall, set up some appointments with a therapist for you and DH to negotiate how you will spend the holidays. Sounds like you all need a neutral third party to help you walk through this minefield of "tradition" and family.

+1 Trying to keep to a schedule that tight will drive you nuts in the coming years.

[Anonymous]

You leave when you have to leave. You shouldn't have to nag DH either. He knows the schedule. He should be all packed and at the door, newborn packed. "sorry ma". 8 to 12:30 is plenty of time for xmas morning...