reward/responsibility charts

[Anonymous]

Do these really help or do they just teach kids to do things for rewards and make them feel bad if they didnt do something?

[Anonymous]

I think they help at certain ages, especially for developing good habits and routines. I like to use them to earn special activities as a treat. I tie good behavior and doing extra chores with making family life run better -- and when the family runs better, mom and dad have time to do more fun activities with the kids.

[Anonymous]

do you feel bad when you have an "unchecked" item in your TO DO list?

you can teach them how to feel good about what they accomplished and give them motivation to finish the chart.

not accomplishing a task doesn't mean failure.
make them think what kept them from succeeding and make them work on the solution.

[Anonymous]

I started using one I made for ds when he was about three and we had to get out the door in the morning (I'm single). It helped put things in an order and establish routine. For a three year old it was REALLY simple stuff that I was still helping with, like eat, put on clothes, brush teeth, put on coat. He got a check mark for each thing. If he got all the check marks, he got a star for the day.

[Anonymous]

My mom used these with us when I was growing up, but not all the time and not for every little thing she wanted us to do. I liked the feeling of accomplishment when I had done everything and got my star, and I don't remember getting extra rewards, just the star and a sincere thank-you from mom. We also had a list of "extra" chores we could do for money or special treats, but those were entirely our choice.

[Anonymous]

I use them in two situations. Sometimes I find that I feel like a nag. This is particularly a morning issue, but it happens other times as well. When I get to feeling this way, I make my kids checklists of the things they must do in the order they must be done. Each kid gets a clipboard and a pencil when I wake them and they can't do anything besides what's on the list until the list is completed. There is no reward for completion - except the natural one of not having to hear me nag.

I also use them in the summer. I list all of the things that must be accomplished each week - chores, summer reading, flash cards, etc. Until everything for the week is done, we don't do any of our special weekend activities - like go to the movies, bike riding, etc. It really helps them stay on track and organize their time. And, it is really no different than how my life works. Once I get all of the laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. done, I can do whatever I think is fun. But, I have to take care of my responsibilities first.

In the past, I have used star charts. But, it was when they were young - like under 5. They served their purpose at the time and if its necessary, I will use them again with my under five year old. But, I really don't feel like giving out stars and matchbox cars for completing household responsibilities and self care for my older kids anymore.