How do you fit in counseling?

[Anonymous]

Both financially and time wise? My husband and I NEED marriage counseling desperately, but with two full time jobs, two small children, mediocre salaries and two childcare expenses, we just don't know how we could pay for it and when the hell we could ever fit it in. It would require us to spend more on childcare if we went in the evenings. Neither of us can do it over any sort of lunch break type time. We really want to fix our problems but we just don't know how to get help. How are others doing it?

[Anonymous]

Do you know any other families (kids friends parents) who would do babysitting swaps with you? So you would not have to pay? They might agree to a weeknight (one parent comes to your place and sits) if one of you sits their kids that Saturday night, etc.....good luck

[Anonymous]

My DH told his work team that he would be taking a 1/2 day off each week to go to marital counseling. He prioritized it and they supported him 100%. He missed about 8 weeks of 1/2 days. We did 1.5 hour sessions of EFT at a time. Not 50 minute sessions.

Best thing ever for our marriage and hence the entire family. Totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH told his work team that he would be taking a 1/2 day off each week to go to marital counseling. He prioritized it and they supported him 100%. He missed about 8 weeks of 1/2 days. We did 1.5 hour sessions of EFT at a time. Not 50 minute sessions.

Best thing ever for our marriage and hence the entire family. Totally worth it.

This is what we've been doing - taking off 1/2 day or a few hours from work, so we don't have childcare. It's really expensive though...I'm planning to max out our HSA next year. We've only been going monthly or every other week due to the cost.

[Anonymous]

DH got a night-time and weekends second job to pay for it and the babysitter. He hired a nice neighborhood high school girl to come over for three hours once a week.

We went to therapy and then out to ice cream afterwards each week for about half a year. Interestingly, when we got back on track romantically, he became more successful at work and got a raise with a promotion. Then he was able to quit the part-time job (though we kept the weekly babysitter).

[Anonymous]

Great ideas, thank you. I'm worried about telling people, which has kept me from asking friends to help and/or time off work. I'd rather keep it between us. I really think it would help us so much. What is EFT, PP?

[Anonymous]

Insurance may cover it, so that it is only a $20 copay if you go in network. Many couples therapists work weekends, ours does.

As for sitting, we were lucky to have grandparents close enough they could do it some of the time, though other times we've had to use a sitter. It is well worth it. It has been a huge investment in our marriage.

[Anonymous]

EFT is a Emotionally Focused Therapy

[Anonymous]

we just figured out our insurance doesn't cover this. that's just perfect *eyeroll*

another reason to hate fucking insurance companies this year.

[Anonymous]

Our Blue Cross did cover it.

[Anonymous]

Check the Women's center in DC or Falls Church, my therapist there is $ 50 for 1 h, and they even have therapists with sliding scales. Despite the name, it is.not.just.for.women, men can go.too.and I think they do couples therapy, you can call to check.

Sorry for the extra fullstops.

[Anonymous]

Marriage counselor here. Insurance does not cover "marriage counseling," but it will usually cover "conjoint counseling," which is how therapists code for couples work. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Take time off work while we have regular childcare.

[Anonymous]

We also schedule our appts during the workday while kids are in school/child care. It's a necessity to save our marriage and in the long run, cheaper than a divorce!

Also, we bill our insurance under my name for depression as my depression is a contributing factor to the counseling.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife and I had EAP (Employee assistance program) through our jobs. We just contacted human resources to say that we wanted to speak to an EAP counselor (we didn't have to say why) and they gave us a number to call. It was a benefit through both of our jobs, so the companies had to allow us time off to go during work hours. The only catch was that each would only pay for counseling for five visits. Neither of us have spectacular jobs. Between the two of us we make about 80k. No one at work was ever the wiser. Our respective bosses just told us to let us know what they could do.