Forced sip n see?
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Anonymous
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Heading home for the holidays. About a month ago received an email from a distant cousin that lives at home, asking my DH and brand new DC to join them for dinner one night. I finally got back to her with a date that works for us. She just told me that she needs confirmation that I'll be attending as she's inviting several others to join based on our schedule. I realize now that my mother had her set this up as a sort of sip n' see. I don't know that I mind so much that people will be meeting our DC, I mind more that I wasn't asked if this is okay and I worry that having so many people meet DC at once will be overwhelming for both of us. Also, the people at this event are not really written into modern day etiquette. I have no doubt that they will just constantly give me unsolicited advice and criticism.
Normally I wouldn't accept this invitation, as we tend to get really busy during the holidays, seeing both family and friends, and I'm not very close to this cousin, but the she asked so far in advance that I felt obligated to accept. I'm frustrated as my mother knows this type of event goes against my wishes, but I know that she went behind my back to arrange this anyway. But I feel like I should just suck it up and go, just to make her happy. I'd much prefer to stay at my mother's house and have people just drop by for a few minutes at a time. Sorry, perhaps this was more of a vent. |
Anonymous
| I hate these type of things. I'd respond the DH and I will attend and will be getting a sitter for baby. |
Anonymous
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Say it with me:
"No." Problem solved. |
Anonymous
| Just say no. The holidays shouldn't be a negative or tense situation. |
Anonymous
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"Gosh, cousin, we thought this was a time to catch up with you rather than a big event. Given the baby is so little, we're not really up for big gatherings, and we're going to have to decline. How about you drop by Mom's house sometime while we're visiting instead?"
Also, if you're sure this was in part your mom's doing: "Hey, Mom, what the heck? You knew we didn't want to do a sip n see, so you went around my back with cousin? Really? This isn't happening, and I'm disappointed you didn't respect our decision in the first place." |
Anonymous
+1 "Our little one is still so young, his doctor recommends that we really limit his exposure to groups of people. We'd love to see you two at Mom's house if you can drop by, though!" |
Anonymous
| Thank you! I did almost exactly that . |
Anonymous
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I would decline.
I am pretty lax about things and we took our 2 month old home for Christmas which ended up being pretty low key. At 4 months we attended at wedding with some of DH's family/family friends and they were so pushy and overwhelming which of course was too much for our 4 month old. They were oblivious that ten people standing over top a 4 month old cooing at her and laughing and talking loudly wasn't enjoyable for her. I also had to spend all night smiling and nodding about a bunch of unsolicited advice about breastfeeding and sleep training from people I have never even met before. |
Anonymous
What was the reaction OP? |
Anonymous
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OP here. No reaction yet! This is just typical of my mom. I don't love to be the center of attention. She does. So frustrating when she tries to pull this crap.
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Anonymous
| I guess my Yankee is showing, but am I the only one who had to Google "sip 'n' see?" |
Anonymous
| I'm with PP. what's a sip n' see? |
Anonymous
| Hah. It's just an event the parents host after the baby arrives so people can meet the new addition. |
Anonymous
| Either politely say no thanks. Tell your mom you found out her little secret and you're declining. Or suck it up and go for say a max. 2 hours. Tell the cousin and your mom you'll be there from say 2-4pm and that's it. |