How do you know it's time for a marriage counselor?

[Anonymous]

Since the birth of our second child, our marriage has taken a big hit. We snap at each other; he says I'm constantly talking down to him (which of course I don't see), and I think he needs to man up in times of stress instead of falling apart, leaving me to deal with three children. He says my tone is always negative, I say the same about his! And let's not even talk about sex. I fully acknowledge we are moving apart, and lots of it is my fault...but I seem helpless to stop acting the way I do. Problem is, every time we start talking about it, we get off track due to score-keeping and defensiveness. I'm desperate to put things back on track-is couples or individual counseling the way to go? And if couples, any recs? We are in nova. I'm concerned he's going to think counseling is a negative, where I'm looking at it as a doctor for an ailing marriage.

[Anonymous]

It's time for you to see a marriage counselor. If he absolutely refuses to go, and I mean absolutely, then go yourself and figure out how to work through your next steps.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you're in need of a course correction. We're long time clients of Kris Rosenthal http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Mount+Vernon+Family+Therapy+Associates+LLC_Alexandria_Virginia_36186 . Started seeing her before marriage and then whenever we hit a rough patch we can't get through (15 years now!). She does individual counseling and also does couples/group sessions.

[Anonymous]

Try JSSA: http://www.jssa.org/prepare-and-enrich

We discovered it because of its programs our SN child, but JSSA covers all sorts of family issues.