How do I answer the baby shower and baby registry questions?

[Anonymous]

If the parents to be are not supposed to throw their own baby shower why are people asking me if I'm having one? I have no idea if I will have a baby shower. Isn't the mother to be supposed to be completely in the dark about these things or can she know in advance? Honestly I would rather have a happy hour or casual party where you are not obligated to buy gifts. We're so excited and want to celebrate, but don't know how to. Also after the baby is born won't we not have enough time and be too tired to plan a party?

Also for baby registry I'm on Wish List, but it seems like some people don't really understand the concept. Should I register at Babies R' Us to make it easier for far away family and friends.

[Anonymous]

I've actually never heard of a baby shower being a surprise party--it's just that the mom wouldn't be planning it. There's a chance the person asking would like to host a party for you but doesn't want to duplicate other parties. Or, alternately, she or he is just excited about the upcoming birth and wondering about all your preparations.

If someone offers to host a party, you're certainly welcome to suggest a no-gift party. As for throwing your own party, many people on a recent thread suggested just hosting a party and not calling it a shower--that way you can see your friends and have a fun time pre-baby.

Personally, I wouldn't have felt like hosting a party to introduce my newborn to friends and family. I did manage to pull us together for a baptism party at 3 months postpartum (and that was hosting by someone else), but it was much less fun and relaxing than our baby shower!