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Plea for nicer comments in this Forum
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Anonymous
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I have visited this forum a few times in the past year seeking helpful information about the independent schools in our area. My oldest child is currently a Kindergartener at one of the independent schools that gets discussed a lot on this Forum.
But I find that, each time I visit this Forum, I walk away a little bit bewildered by the often negative and mean-spirited comments. I suppose that, if so many of the threads center around Admissions, it will have to be the case that this forum is anonymous. But I am afraid that the anonymity is also a bad thing too, because it allows people to say things that are pretty negative (and sometimes even untrue) without any consequences. I am writing to make a plea for nicer comments in this Forum. It might mean that people enjoy this Forum a little bit more. |
Anonymous
| You just have to accept that there is quite a bit of envy towards those whose kids are in the so called "Big 3/4" and whose kids are in the 99%ile. This is manifested in many ways - from being outright nasty to discrediting both the methods of testing and the schools themselves. Just recognize these posts for what they are and never take much notice - literally water off a duck's back. Anonymity means that it is unlikely to end. Take the good from the ones who are really out to help - and there are many - and ignore the ones deliberately trying to incite, is my advice. |
Anonymous
| Also, don't let the anonymous jerks get away with setting the tone for the rest of us. If you see someone being a jerk, tell her to stop. |
Anonymous
I really don't envy anyone. We can afford Sidwell, easily. My dcs could make it into one of the big 3. We live in MC, and there is no way that I would subject my kiddies to those schools. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous
I really don't envy anyone. We can afford Sidwell, easily. My dcs could make it into one of the big 3. We live in MC, and there is no way that I would subject my kiddies to those schools. But that's it exactly. You wouldn't "subject" your kids to "one of those schools". Perhaps "those schools" are a great fit for some kids, and not a great fit for others. Perhaps some parents put their kids there for all the wrong reasons, but others do it for all the right reasons. Perhaps the students don't feel that they are being "subjected" to anything! |
Anonymous
The reason you take so much heat is because of the way you come across to the "general public." Envy - hmmm . . . You're literally saying that the people who follow the threads under this topic are to be envied. How would you expect people to act? If you watched your word choice and didn't think so highly of yourself, I doubt you'd encounter the negativity. Furthermore, those who "discredit" these testing methods have a right to question how it's possible to have so many in the 99th percentile. Finding educational consultants willing to test your child is indeed questionable. Furthermore, there is the the curiosity surrounding the type of children who make up the testing population. I am certain there are some who may wish to incite. But most, I believe, feel the need to question the posters regarding their arrogant tone. |
Anonymous
Anyone with sense would admit that it is not logically possible for all these kids to test in the 99th percentile. I admit, its one thing on the private schools forum that makes me outright laugh. Also, it seems that people don't know, or are unwilling to acknowledge, that testing in the 99% when one is 3 or 4 or 5 years old is grossly inaccurate as far as predicting IQ a few years later and is even more dismal at predicting academic success. I have long believed that the schools do not put nearly the weight on those tests that some seem to think they do. I think its terrible that some posters tell others, through this forum, not to even bother applying if their child did not test in the high 90s. That is just not true and is really mean and nasty. Anyone who feels smug and self-righteous because her child recieved a high score on the WPPSI and got into to what she wants to call a "big three" is seriously pathetic and delusional. These posters are best ignored. Its likely Karma will catch up to them eventually. |
Anonymous
| Did anyone read OP's post? Lots of negativity still flowing here. |
Anonymous
Yes - read it Did anyone read the PP's line about envy? "You just have to accept that there is quite a bit of envy towards those whose kids are in the so called "Big 3/4" and whose kids are in the 99%ile." Lots of arrogance still flowing here |
Anonymous
In other words, just another day on DCUM. Love it or leave it. |
Anonymous
| I'm with you. Let's hope posters stop with the mean-spirited comments, and throw the negativity somewhere else...the waters of Great Falls...maybe?? |
Anonymous
Hello again. I am the original poster. I have not made any other posts on this thread until now, but wanted to respond briefly to this quote above. I think that my original posting was balanced, and don't really see any negativity there. I was not the one that made comments about envy. I genuinely would be surprised if anyone envied my family or my child, so I would not have said that. Also I think it's great for people to debate issues, but just recommend that it be in a nice tone without any ad hominum attacks. I think it may be best for me to just not use this particular forum because it tends to be a pretty big downer. Thank you. |
Anonymous
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Hello OP, I'm p. 20:27. It has been awhile since I was thinking to quit this forum because of the reasons you just mentioned.
My first impression was the poster 20:10 means you asked to stop the negativity and that the other posters still come with negativity, instead of using a nice tone. But my interpretation may be wrong. Anyway, Happy Holidays. |
Anonymous
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OP,
I find that the posters fall into one of two camps...either blindly obsessed with getting into the school and finding more info (thus creating a tone of desperation with a tinge of snobbery) and those that defend the schools vehemently OR we get those that find the top three HORRIBLE, the discussions TEDIOUS and the need to get in VAIN and SILLY. As usual, the truth is somewhere between. These schools are lovely, do a nice job and are a great fit for many a child. They are also not the end-all be all and parents obsessed with them would do well to take up another hobby. No one should have to defend a school they love...and yet the snobbery tone keeps feeding a constantly burning fire. It will get better when everyone gets their rejection (or a couple of) acceptance letters! |
Anonymous
| OP, I agree with your plea in principle, but you have to admit: some of the catty lines that get thrown around on this forum are pretty good! |