your MIL gave you a monogrammed item with your husband's last name (even if you didn't change your name)? We've been married 5 years. She seemed genuinely excited about it and she's really nice (not a bitch as the move might indicate). She knows I didn't change my last name. |
Any chance she honestly forgot you didn't change your name? Because otherwise, I'd be thinking that's some pretty passive-aggressive shit. |
I would think that she totally forgot and big deal. |
She seemed so excited about it, which was weird to me- and made a big point out of giving it to me. She's not typically a passive aggressive person. But could you honestly forget my name 5 years into a marriage? |
I think it's passive aggressive. I would mention it to her ("oh, I kept my last name.). It will be awkward, but if you don't, then she'll continue to do it, and after a while, if you say nothing, it's like you're admitting it's okay.
Even nice people can be passive aggressive on certain things. It's still not justified. If she forgot, then she'll say she forgot. But if she truly did forget, then even more reason why you should tell her what your name is! |
Honestly OP, I would think there was a subliminal message there.
Perhaps she is trying to tell you something....OR maybe your hubby wants to tell you something and can't. That's what I would think if................................... |
I wonder if dh secretly told her you changed it? |
Is it possible she thinks that you don't care if you're called by your husband's name? I didn't change my name either and it never bothered me when I was called by his last name and my MIL knows this. Maybe you can give her a gentle reminder (if possible) of how important your last name is to you. |
I'll just take it and be grateful for the thoughtfulness and the gift. If you say she's a genuinely nice person. Take the gift as a nice guesture and stop looking for slights where there are none. |
Women of any age don't forget or overlook these types of things. Despite cries to the contrary, women can't help to play these little games - some, perhaps many, actually enjoy it. And some, perhaps more than anyone ap ares to admit, are in fact quite vindictive and petty.
So no, this wasn't an 'innocent' mistake or oversight. |
+1 |
But it was actually quite thoughtless. |
Disagree. I think she genuinely forgot. That's the selfish part-the forgetting, but I honestly think that's what happened. |
I did not change my last name. The only person who addresses me as "Mrs. [Husband's last name]" is my dad. LOL He is just so happy I am married and out of his house. ![]() No, I am kidding! The thing is to view it as a compliment that she is happy that you and her son are married to each other. |
I vote she forgot. |