Family...question...

[Anonymous]

Are you estranged from anyone in your family?

How long has the estrangement been?

What is your relationship to the person (brother, father, etc)

Is it your choice, his/her choice or mutual?

[Anonymous]

I am estranged from my whole family. They are religious, I am gay. It's been over a decade. Started out their choice, but at this point if I were welcomed back am not sure I would want to go.

[Anonymous]

Was estranged from my sister for about 7 years. VERY long story, but she was in and out of rehab for years since she was 16. A mix of eating disorder rehabs, alcohol, and pot/prescription pain killers. We remained close throughout this and she seemed to be turning her life around at 21 and enrolled in college, was dating a guy she met in one of her meetings, etc. Then they broke up and she wound up dating a guy whose problems became apparent after a year. He got her involved in dealing and using heroin and oxy and she was put on probation. Then she broke into our mom's house and stole her jewelry and a few other valuable items. Mom called the cops and had her arrested (one of the hardest things she's ever had to do). Sister was arrested and sentenced to jail. This is when I stopped talking to her as she was completely unapologetic and my mom had said that if she went to rehab, she would drop the charges. Sister threw a hurl of insults at my mother.

A couple of years later, she was arrested with her boyfriend for being part of a pretty big drug ring in the area. Because of extenuating circumstances with her boyfriend, he received a slap on the wrist while she was sentenced to a year in prison followed by rehab and sober living.

I started talking to her again when she was in sober living and really seemed to be trying. She now lives with another family member as she had to be released somewhere safe and our mom didn't trust her yet and our dad travels often for work. Our relationship is better, as is her relationship with our mom, but it is still improving. She is back in school, working, and has a great boyfriend. She is on probation still so that helps keep her in check.

Anyways, sorry this turned out so long.

[Anonymous]

Long story.

Mother's side of the family: huge multi-generational saga, starting with grandfather leaving all his money and property to his only son and leaving out the 6 daughters, and an attempt to concentrate wealth on the titled heir of the estate. Daughters can go hang. Strictly illegal according to the law of the land (not in the US)! Legal proceedings are started, son comes out with chits of paper signed by his sisters stating they accept the will, which he had pressured them to sign with threats from a sinister lawyer friend. Sisters cowed into not saying anything for years - 20 years, while brother enjoys the estate and fruits thereof. Resentment builds up. One sister goes to court by herself against her brother - they don't speak to each other ever again.

I grow up and realize that chits of paper are meaningless in the eyes of the law, so tell my mother and aunts to go to court as a group, they'll be more powerful that way. Proceedings opened all over again, brother will surely lose, but sisters stupidly decide to settle it out of court and agree to an inheritance far below what the law could have guaranteed. In the name of "family", which is rubbish, but they can't shake off years of being told girls are worthless. Neither their father, mother or brother had ever done anything to help them in their lives (this includes denying them an education or help when they were practically homeless trying to find jobs).

Result, years of lawyers and strife for not a lot of money at the end because they were afraid to go all the way. The brother (my uncle) and his family are not speaking to any of his sisters (my mother and aunts), or to their children. Apparently he can't stand the partial loss of his ill-gotten gains.

Oh, and there's a sex angle as well, linked to a mysterious "disappearance" at sea of a relative vacationing with his wife and grown sons, who just before had paraded in fornt of his wife at a family wedding with his mistress, that I prefer to leave out. Really, my family history could be turned into a TV saga. Life is stranger than fiction and all that.

This is why I married my husband - his family is so normal and sane!