If you are from an extended family that is just no fun...
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Anonymous
| How do you make the holidays fun for your own family? My family is very serious, doesn't particularly like young kids (of which I have two) and I always leave Thanksgiving feeling kinda sorry for myself? My DH tactfully suggested today that we have Thanksgiving in our house next year so that we can relax. We are both from here, so I can't use travel as an excuse. I see all my friends pics on social media and their holidays look like a blast while mine are spent listening to a lot of complaining about work, chores, life and all I want is to have some laughs!! Any suggestions? I need to accept how my family is and not let them weigh me down. |
Anonymous
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We enjoy the holidays most when we don't put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have loads of fun. Of course your friends look like they're having a great time in their photos--otherwise they wouldn't post them!
Pick one or two things you'd like to do, and that will be plenty. |
Anonymous
| This is kind of may family too OP. We have a good time together, and my family does like young kids but everyone is very proper and serious. Our family pictures are also the posed group picture with everyone standing still and smiling. Overall, very boring! No one is silly or high energy or goofy or all that funny. Most of my family are introverts and academically minded folks who enjoy discussions about intellectually stimulating topics. We do have good discussions but our family get togethers are decided not fun or spontaneous or full of mirth and laughter. I have just accepted it. I also find that I become quite boring and serious when around them as that is just how we are. Maybe that is true for everyone - that away from the family they are more fun but once all together we revert back to serious and boring. |
Anonymous
| Suck it up for the day and plan something fun for just your small family, or with friends, for the next day. Having it to look forward to will make it easier to endure your family. Treat that as your real Thanksgiving tradition. |
Anonymous
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Yes we have this problem. We talked abut Obamacare the entire dinner. Ughhhhh. In laws...
My own extended is very joyful and I want to try to make the trip to see them. At my own house dh and I are just so happy, always singing, dancing and goofy. It all goes away when we see his family. |
Anonymous
OP here. 12:21 - are we related?  I guess it's good to know that I'm not the only one and I just need to get over it. I'm not going to change my family, I just feel a little bit like the black sheep that I don't want to discuss Obamacare and actually want to play with the kids. The holidays just always make me feel a little sorry for myself and my kids!
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Anonymous
great idea - i would take that friday off everyyear and do whatever you feel like. or do thanksgiving the saturday before thanksgiving, and really enjoy yourself, so that the family one just seems like an afterthought. |
Anonymous
| OP, you do know there is such a thing as "Happiness Inflation" on social media like Facebook. No one ever posts about the huge argument they just had or how miserable their holiday really was. They save those posts for an anonymous forum like DCUM. Folks tend to project a happier version of their life to the world on social media. So the next time you're reading on FB about how fabulous all your friends' lives seem to be, take it with a huge grain of salt. |
Anonymous
| I was kicked out of my family when I came out, so just celebrate holidays with my little family I created and friends. We have a great time, even if things go wrong, because we all genuinely care about each other. |
Anonymous
| This was the same for my family OP. I spent the entire dinner listening to my FIL complain about how we are failing our kids by not sending them to Christian school. |
Anonymous
There is also just different personalities. I am 12:21, one of the people with a boring, serious family. I have been to many other events at friends houses that are far more fun and where people don't just sit around serious and boring, having discussions about serious topics. There actually are lots of people who are fun. And my family would never even ham it up to get the fake goofy pics to create 'happiness inflation'. It actually isn't that my family isn't happy, they are just boring and serious when happy. |
Anonymous
| Agree with 13:08. My family uses tradition and guilt to lure us all into coming to Thanksgiving where some people are excited to go have fun with their family. The thing is that my family thinks being really serious IS fun. Abortion argument at a graduation party? Of course. Gay marriage debate at a sweet 16 party? Absolutely. Never mind that the guest of honor is bored to tears. |
Anonymous
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I like the previous suggestion of the Friday party so you have something to look forward to!
Also, can you travel somewhere (even close by, by car…just to get away..some hotel somewhere?) Just to create a new tradition where you are not spending the holiday with them. A few years apart and the kids will be older and it won't be so difficult. But I also think Tgiving at your house is preferable to going to someone else's because you can always take a break in your room or the kids can get away to their rooms, too. I'm trapped here with some difficult personalities and today I fled upstairs and dyed my gray roots, heh heh--so I got something accomplished, at least. |
Anonymous
Thus is kind of the same as my family. I really don't enjoy it. I always pray to have my husbands or my extended family there too. |
Anonymous
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8 year old DS's idea of fun is discussing entropy, chemistry experiments, the immune system, DNA, World War II, paleontology, early human evolution etc. He has 2 scientist parents who think it's terribly exciting too, until we remember that other people may prefer talking about something else! Sigh. Sorry guys. It's Asperger central here. |