4+ hours drive to relatives for Christmas
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Anonymous
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Would you do it if
-They never, and I mean never make the drive to come visit you (at any time of the year) -One of your kids has a bday around the holidays which isn't acknowledged by them because so much focus is put on Christmas -You'd have to put up the money to stay in a hotel since they don't have room and money is tight right now with job issues/uncertainty I hate driving this time of year when weather can be bad, and don't want to go for the above reasons. However, I'm trying to do what's best for my kids. We're still having a lovely holiday at home like previous years, but I don't know if they're missing out by not getting to spend it with the grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
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My in laws live 4 hours away. We go up Christmas eve and come home on Christmas. Only one night in the hotel. My in laws also never, ever come visit.
But OP if you're asking permission to spend holidays your own way, do it! |
Anonymous
| No. Plus people driving impaired. |
Anonymous
| No, make your own holiday traditions. Let the kids spend time with other family at a time that is more convenient for everyone. |
Anonymous
| Do it the weekend before or after. |
Anonymous
| We are, but it is a 7 hour drive. |
Anonymous
| We drive 5 hours. They never make the trip because my mother has health issues that prevent it. DS's birthday is Christmas Eve. It is (naturally) overshadowed by Christmas, but it is acknowledged by family. We always stay in a hotel. If finances made the hotel impossible we would bring sleeping bags or whatnot. If my family did not like us crowding them then I would tell them the choice is theirs; cramped conditions, they pay for the hotel, they come visit us or we don't spend the holidays together. |
Anonymous
That's the thing. Seems like they're fine without us, hence them never coming to visit. (No health issues, in fact, they drive out further than that for vacations). The only reason I would go out of my way to see them is for the sake of my kids. Their extended family are essentially strangers to them, they see them so little (not at all this year or last year, once or twice the year before). I feel sad for them, as I was always close to my cousins and grandparent growing up. |
Anonymous
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If you're not close to your extended family, one trip a year for Christmas isn't going to reverse that. Why subject yourself to a long trip and an expensive hotel to hang out with people who don't care if you come or not?
That said, when you say they don't come visit, are you actually inviting them, providing specific dates, etc.? |
Anonymous
| Agreed that one trip a year won't change things. BTW, I grew up close to my grandparents. But my parents were divorced and my family all screwed up. My husband, on the other hand, grew up without grandparents really in his life (either dead or estranged) and he has the most wonderfully close and lovely nuclear family. There's no sign they missed not having grandparents, because mom, dad, brothers and sisters were so tight. |
Anonymous
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OP, it really sounds like you don't want to go. So act like the adult you are and tell them you're not coming. But don't be butt hurt that nobody celebrates the kid's birthday when they don't see him.
You COULD choose to go, march in with a happy birthday banner, balloons, gifts wrapped in birthday wrapping paper and big fat birthday cake and insist everyone sing happy birthday to the birthday boy. YOU could be putting the focus on the birthday kid. But for you to sit around and hope others will is lame. It's YOUR kid. You lead the pack. |
Anonymous
| I think you should make the effort to visit them but it doesn't have to be around the holidays. Find out what fun kids spots are one the way to their place and schedule a trip, hotel and visit. Done. |
Anonymous
| Make the trip every other year or alternate spending thanksgiving or Christmas with them. |