Ugh. Holiday vent.
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Anonymous
| I am not looking forward to my parents coming up for thanksgiving. I know DH and I will have to do all the cooking and cleaning and purchasing when they are here while they just stare at our newborn. |
Anonymous
Whole foods has thanksgiving to go, might be worth it? |
Anonymous
| Show them how to change diapers and how to start the washing machine and dishwasher! |
Anonymous
| Or just go out to dinner if it is in your budget. |
Anonymous
Seriously. They are guests, not maids |
Anonymous
| You'll miss them when they are gone. Trust me. |
Anonymous
| So travel to them. Stop complaining. Its a holiday and they are family. Seriously some selfish people in these parts. |
Anonymous
|
If you have a newborn, be open and honest about your limitations. "This year I will need you to do the turkey. I can make the stuffing and the pies but that's really it."
Why be a martyr? |
Anonymous
Do you mean after this "vacation" or when they're dead? Not the OP, but I look forward to the days when I can nostalgically miss my parents "when they're gone" rather than deal with their drama and stress. Not everyone has a great family, some of us have dysfunctional abusive family members who make us ill with their stress. |
Anonymous
+1. I totally understand that you don't want to travel to them with a newborn. At the same time, it's reasonable to let them know you'd like to be together for the holidays, but need them to be chipping in like family and not simply waiting to be served/entertained like guests. How many days will they be there? You could start with a phone call to deliver PP's message, or a longer email saying the same thing and laying out each day of their visit and plans for meals or what-have-you. "Mom, I'm going to order T'giving dinner from Whole Foods. I'll have a big pot of soup waiting when you arrive on Wednesday night. Can I ask you to handle dinner on Friday?" |
Anonymous
Yep. Speak up ahead of time, something like this. |
Anonymous
+1. I get so frustrating seeing on, for example, Facebook, the sapping graphics about how we need to forgive, and need to tell our parents we love them before it's too late. For some of us, too late is not soon enough. |
Anonymous
| *frustrated |
Anonymous
|
It's OK to vent and there's great advice on here. Most parents (??) and guests really don't sit around like royalty expecting to be coddled. They do want to help and don't want to overstep in your household. So don't be shy about giving a little direction. They will probably appreciate it, especially since it's family!
Show them how to make coffee. Bundle up the baby and let them take it around the block. Maybe leave the baby one afternoon to shop. And don't overdo thanksgiving! Keep it super simple! It can be your "casual first Thanksgiving with Baby!". It's so much cooking and having sides and turkey just because you always have them. Even if nobody really likes them! This is your house and your chance to do what you want. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| OP, streamline your menu; one turkey or whatever, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce from can, green beans in butter, roasted sweet potatoes and red onions; pumpkin & apple pie. Buy premade items wherever possible. Announce ahead of time who is responsible for what. Practice saying "Mom/Dad, can you please give me a hand with X?" Keep everything else simple. Like a PP said, this is your Thanksgiving and you get to decide what it's like! Don't be afraid to say you have to go lie down, don't be afraid to take the baby away from them (or, conversely, ask them to take the baby for a walk in the stroller). |