Deciding between play-based or Montessori or no preschool?

[Anonymous]

How did you decide what was best for your child? Is preschool necessary if you work at home with your child? A bit off-topic, but did Obama, Bush, or Clinton do Montessori or did they even go to preschool?

[Anonymous]

I think the one thing that preschool can provide that is pretty difficult to match at home (unless you have lots of kids or run an in-home daycare) is the social interaction w/ different kids. One other thing is having your child learn to take direction from someone else. My son has lots of problems taking direction from anyone else but me. It is something he is just going to have to learn how to do so preschool is invaluable for him. Ditto for the social interaction since he is an only child. I've already taught him a lot of the "academic" stuff at home which can be easily done by anyone (although preschool teachers are much more creative than I am!) You kind of have to look at your child and see what would benefit them the most. In my son's case, he needed how to get along w/ other kids most of all so I chose a play based NAEYC preschool. They have taken him where he is developmentally and really do work w/ him in the areas he needs help. I don't think Montessori would've been a good choice for him since there seem to be more kids in one classroom than in a typical preschool (and w/ my son, the fewer the kids and movement, etc, the better). No preschool isn't an option since the only time during the schoolyear he has to play w/ other kids is at school. HTH.

[Anonymous]

PP, yes, that helps, thank you. Why would you choose Montessori for a child? I asked a friend and her only response was that the school had a good reputation. I don't think she really thought through what would be best for her child just what was considered in vogue. Are there certain personalities that do better in one vs. another? Also, is there a difference if your child starts preschool at 2 years old as opposed to age 3?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, yes, that helps, thank you. Why would you choose Montessori for a child? I asked a friend and her only response was that the school had a good reputation. I don't think she really thought through what would be best for her child just what was considered in vogue. Are there certain personalities that do better in one vs. another? Also, is there a difference if your child starts preschool at 2 years old as opposed to age 3?

I don't really get the whole Montessori craze either. If someone sends their kids to Montessori, can you tell me why it is worth the $$? I do know that in Montessori they have mixed ages in classrooms. A boy in my son's playgroup goes to a Montessori school and his mom has been complaining that since her 3 year old hangs out with the older kids (4 and 5 year olds), he is picking up all their bad habits. Nothing major - just a lot of poop comments, etc. My own 3 year old son goes to a play based preschool 2 days a week and he has been very happy there. Like the pp said, we did it mostly for socialization with kids his own age as well as to get him to learn how to follow directions, share, play well with others, listen to his teachers, etc. I don't really expect him to get a ton of academic learning at age 3. We read a lot at home and he is learning colors, shapes, letters, numbers, etc so the play based preschool is working for us. It is also a lot cheaper than Montessori - we pay $180/month.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how helpful I can be since I do not yet have a child in preschool. We've been looking at preschools now to enroll our child (who will be 3 years old) for the fall 2009. Much of what I read about the Montessori approach appealed to me (e.g., child-directed learning, real-life tasks, older children mentoring the young ones). But, we opted not to apply to the one Montessori we visited. The primary reasons were 1.) class size (25 children with 1 teacher and 1 assistant); 2.) the school was much larger than I want at this point, and 3.) cost. I think if we lived closer to a smaller Montessori that had a smaller teacher-student ratio we would be okay spending the same or more on tuition. I would be skeptical if someone tells you all children thrive in a Montessori environment. You should visit a couple of schools and observe for yourself. I agree with an earlier PP who said something about preschool serving as the best environment for little ones to hone social skills/independence. Good luck....would write more but have to run...

[Anonymous]

It totally depends on the school and your child. We found the Montessori schools we toured (in Bethesda and North Rockville) too cold and opted for play-based and Reggio Emilio curriculum. But I know people whose kids have thrived in a Montessori environment. You just want to find teachers who are engaged with the kids and give lots o fopportunities for imaginative play, exercise and other learning.

And yes, I think kids benefit from preschool rather than being home with mom all day. Even just a couple hours a day makes a difference. For one, most of the kids I know who are home with WAHMs spend a big chunk of the day watching TV or sitting and playing, rather than getting lots of gross motor exercise and interacting with peers. And I can't imagine sending a kid to kindergarten who had NEVER been in a group care setting. What a shock that would be.

Just my 2c.

[Anonymous]

I would focus less on pedagogical approach and more on what feels right to you. Going into the pre-school decision process, I was inclined toward Montessori. I still think it's a great option and heard wonderful things about the one close to our house, but I happened to visit a play-based school (also near our house) and just thought it felt right. I wish I could quantify the feeling, but I can't -- I just knew.

So my advice would be to talk to your friends and neighbors about where their kids go, find a bunch of schools within a walk or close drive of your house (pre-school days are short, so you don't want to spend a lot of time on the commute), and start visiting open houses. Ask questions. Ask yourself what "feels" right. Follow your gut.

Also, side note, but Montessoris are more expensive in part because they are 5-day programs, often for 4 or 5 hours; many play-based schools are only 2 or 3 days (at least for 2 and 3 year olds) and only 3 or so hours.

Finally, I agree with all the PPs who said that pre-school is great for socialization. My son knew all of his letters and numbers before he turned 2, but at almost 3 he still didn't really know what to do around other kids, and pre-school has been wonderful for that.

[Anonymous]

No 2 year old who is going to a montessori is getting the real treatment, they are too little. They are really just playing.

I agree with the PP's that it depends on what feels right for you and your kid, only you know. A great montessori is an amazing place, but I heard not good for ADHD kids or kids with tons of energy. I have had family members work in Montessori and have seen great rooms and a lot of joy.

We chose play-based b/c, well, it felt right for DD. I am sending my younger DD to a montessori next year three days a week. My second daughter is a tough cookie and will totally hold her own in a mixed age class while my older is more sensitive.

Good luck. Feel it in your own gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No 2 year old who is going to a montessori is getting the real treatment, they are too little. They are really just playing.

I agree with the PP's that it depends on what feels right for you and your kid, only you know. A great montessori is an amazing place, but I heard not good for ADHD kids or kids with tons of energy. I have had family members work in Montessori and have seen great rooms and a lot of joy.

We chose play-based b/c, well, it felt right for DD. I am sending my younger DD to a montessori next year three days a week. My second daughter is a tough cookie and will totally hold her own in a mixed age class while my older is more sensitive.

Good luck. Feel it in your own gut.

This is actually excellent advice. My daughter was 2 1/2 when we enrolled her in a play-based preschool. I liked it at the time but wanted something more challenging academically. She's now in a montessori and loves it. I agree that montessoris aren't for every child. However, some montessoris are better equipped to deal with certain behaviors. So if you like the idea of a montessori for your extremely active child, look around at different montessori schools.

If nothing works, there are a lot of play-based preschools that incorporate plenty of academic activities. Look around and drop in for visits.

[Anonymous]

We chose to put our son in Montessori. I liked that they give a child alot of autonomy, emphasize independence, and that it was a quiet, peaceful atmosphere. Our school also does not tolerate aggression.

That said, there's quite a few things that i DO NOT like about our school.

They seem too rigid, want too much control over how the children use the toys, and keep correcting the children when they do anything out of the ordinary. I do not want to give specific examples for fear that one of the teachers is reading this!

Most of the world's greatest leaders, scientists, and inventors, scholars probably did not get a Montessori education. But obviously they did just fine. And I would like to see the studies on the success of children who went through a Montessori education. What percentage of them achieve success?

[Anonymous]

I don't think any schools tolerate aggression. I guess it is good to hear that Montessori schools work for some kids but not for others. The one I toured recently was interesting but not my child's style. I don't think it would do him any good to be constantly corrected for how to use the materials provided. He is the type to tell everyone how many ways he can use a toy (it's a hat, now it's truck, etc). It would drive him crazy to constantly be told how to do something. The classroom also seemed very quiet the entire time I was there (more than an hour). It seemed a bit unnatural to be in a room of 20 kids ages 3-6 and not hear much noise, laughing, etc.

[Anonymous]

With all due respect, we did visit a few schools that do tolerate aggression. They all tell you they don't, but their policies show a level of tolerance that we just were not comfortable with. For example, some schools stated they would not disclose to parents if an incidence of aggression occured against their child. They would only inform the parents if it was repetitive. Some schools do not send the child home until the 5th incidence of aggression. One school director told us that if he witnessed an act of aggression, he would not get involved, even if it involved hitting or punching.

As for the 'quiet' of some Montessori classrooms, it is very natural to be quiet when concentrating on a task and Montessori claims to be more of an academic program where the toys are actually considered to be a child's work. Some of the toys require a bit of concentration and focus, hard to do if children are loud or rambunctious. The children do talk to each other, they just don't yell across the room to each other. They don't run in the classroom. So it appears more calm. Get them to a park or a zoo or a gym or at a playdate's house and they're yelling and running and rambunctious again, but they're just taught that classroom time is not the place for it.

There are positives and negatives about Montessori. It's good to know ahead of time what those are.

[Anonymous]

We had our child in a NAEYC play based program which we loved. He seemed happy there. For reasons that had nothing to do with that school, we moved him to a Montessori at age 4.

Boy, do I really wish I had done it earlier. The amount of stuff he learns in Montessori is amazing! The materials are very deep and multilayered allowing for very accelerated learning. Children can proceed at their own pass according to interest and the amount of repetition they need to master a skill.

There is actually a lot of movement in the classroom (many materials/use patterns are actually designed to make the child move around often.) Although there are a lot of children in the class, the children are taught from the beginning how to "work" and how to "watch" or "help" so they can do so supportively without being disruptive. I have never once seen my son's Montessori class out of control; it's quite amazing.

I actually look back now and wish that we had put our oldest in it as well, at least from 3 years on; it would have been far far better for than the play-based program, and DCPS preK/K program the oldest experienced.

It is true that there are specific ways to use the materials, which seems rigid to many, but that almost always has a point -- for example, there are many objects that have knobs, which the kids are taught to pick up with a 3 fingered grip. This is supposed to develop the pincer grip necessary to later hold a pencil. Or, when building a tower, the child is told to get each block in the tower separately instead of bringing a whole bunch of blocks together. This is so that the child gets the full multi-sensorial experience of the "value" of the block. When holding one block at a time the child clearly feels the individual weight and dimensions of that block, thus intuitively learning about several aspects of order at one time.

Really can't say enough about Montessori. May not be for all kids, but I would venture that it probably would work for most.

[Anonymous]

With every school choice, you have to "feel it." But you have to do you homework too, and DC URBAN MOMS doesn't count. You have to know the ideologies and purposes behind the pedagogy and not just judge it. There is a reason Montessori is so popular...it can be a WONDERFUL path for many kids, but parents have to do the work to figure it out and be willing to change if it doesn't work (which is okay. Does anyone talk about this on this board? How it is OKAY to change your mind about something?)

[Anonymous]

When my son used a toy incorrectly in a MOntessori classroom, the directress asked him to use it properly. She apparently showed him how to use it properly again. He just did not want to do an extra second step required in using that toy properly. So she took that toy away. My son was frustratred. When I spoke to the teacher she said it is important to use the toy properly for it to be beneficial. But my son responds well to logical reasoning, he's nearly 5 now, yet I do not think these benefits were explained to my son. When I explained the reason why it is important to use the toy in the correct way,he seemed to get it and said he would not use the toy incorrectly again. So my frustration with that Montessori teacher is that she simply expected my son to follow an order without providing a detailed explanation of why it is important to follow that order. This isnt' the military, it's a learning institution and she should have spent more time explaining to my son what benefits he reaps by simply using the toy properly. She would have had much better luck if she had done that in the first place. This may not be a Montessori issue, however, and simply ignorance on the part of the teacher.