My abusive relationship
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Anonymous
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I could never share these details in person, but I want to get it out:
I was a piece of property. My needs, desires, and dreams were unimportant. In addition to holding a full time job, I was required to clean the house, keep up the yard, and cook. If I disobeyed, I would be punished. I was not allowed date nights or girls nights. I was not allowed to know about finances. But I was required to pay for all of the childcare and medical expenses. Totaling greater than 50% of my gross income. At no time was I an equal. I was all along degraded in private, my reputation tarnished and ruined to discredit me should I ever try to leave. I was not allowed to associate with my friends, I was forced to spend my free time with friends of his choosing. He used marriage as a tool to control me. Marriage was never about love or family. It was about submission and subservience. I'm glad I got out. |
Anonymous
| I'm glad you got out, too. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I am sorry about your being abused. |
Anonymous
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I am glad you are away from that monster OP.
You do not say how long it has been, but I am assuming it is very recent. Please be strong and do not go back to him. He will promise to change. And he may very well "play the part." Do not fall for it. Abusers do not change. |
Anonymous
| Glad you got away. |
Anonymous
+1 But I have to ask, rather bluntly: Why the hell did you marry him in the first place? |
Anonymous
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Good achievement, OP, getting away. One of the best gifts you can give your kids is to model healthy behavior.
Hopefully they will choose a better quality man, but if they don't, they will have seen you get out, and know that they can get out, too. |
Anonymous
+1. Get therapy and learn to make better choices. |
Anonymous
I didn't marry him. He used the promise of marriage to coerce me into becoming a household slave and draining my bank account so I could not financially leave. I made the choice to leave, all the other choices, including getting pregnant were not choices at all. |
Anonymous
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I hope you and your kids are in therapy OP. Glad to hear you and are children are safe. Stay far away from relationships for the next conceivable while.
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Anonymous
| Did he physically abuse you to make you do things? Just curious why you couldn't or didn't leave sooner. |
Anonymous
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How did you meet him? What would he do to punish you?
I'm glad you got out too. And you have children? Is he allowed to see them? Do you ever see him now? |
Anonymous
You have the choice of getting pregnant. You could have went to the doctor and got on birth control without him knowing. Shot every three months, pill every day, or whatever that thing is every five years. You had choices. You made choices. You made the wrong choice. Accept some type of ownership in your chaotic and abusive life. You need help |
Anonymous
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OP I've been in similar shoes so if this is a true story, know that you MUST take responsibility for the choices you made that led you into this situation, the choices you made to stay, and the choices you made to submit to abuse rather than call the police.
You DID have a choice, and you made bad ones. Pretending you didn't have any autonomy will only deprive you of a full and luscious future where you can take what you've learned and make GOOD choices instead. Best of luck to you. |