How friendly are you with your children's friends' parents?
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Anonymous
| I am trying to be friendly but people are too competitive insecure, we had a family over the other day and the parents started commenting how bigger their house was compared to ours... Oh their bathroom is bigger! WTF? |
Anonymous
| Surprisingly, very friendly. I have often found if the kid is low drama, then so are the parents. But! It took a long time before I would do anything offsite. Lots and lots of conversations. Then there shouldn't be any surprises. Pace yourself. |
Anonymous
| They think our house is "just so CUTE!" ugh. |
Anonymous
What is the preffered compliment, can I say nice? |
Anonymous
|
They sound rude and obnoxious, op. As someone said above "pace yourself." Kids will choose their own friends, despite some mothers best efforts. Over time, you will become closer with some parents more than others of your kids friends. You may also have good friends and your kids aren't that close.
Hopefully the next couple you host will have better breeding. |
Anonymous
|
Tell them you prefer a smaller house. Less to clean, easier to supervise the kids and more money for college.
We are not competitive at all. I ignore others who are. It is about them, not me. We could get a bigger house but we are too lazy to move. |
Anonymous
Gross. They sound horrible. |
Anonymous
| Eh, I'm not that friendly but not rude either. I keep it pretty low key. It's just awkward because I'm much younger than they are, and I don't even look my age so it's hard for them to accept me. Fine by me though. I gather for the children, not for me. |
Anonymous
| I got better "I didn't realize your house was so nice inside". And "wow, your house seems so clean and much bigger inside than I thought". Basically our puppy has ruined the yard, so people think our house inside must looks terrible. I think it is hilarious. |
Anonymous
| You know I have been through this for several years now and what I have learned, and hopefully I am not dimishing op's feeling, people sometimes say clumsy things because they too are nervous. I have found when I am not looking for a problem, I don't find one and I tend not to judge everything so tightly so there is room for someone to say something off without ww III. I hope too that other people allow me to say the occasional dumb thing. Do I love everyone no but I generally like most of the parents at our school. It seems we are all there for the right reason and that counts for a lot in my book. |
Anonymous
| It depends. I've done lines of coke with one family and swapped partners with another. But some families we barely know at all. |
Anonymous
|
I agree with a PP that you have to work on not hearing something negative when people are trying to be nice. The OP's guests just sound like jerks, but I have definitely had the experience of "your house is so cute!" from people who live in a huge house in a ritzy area of town. I have also gotten "it's so much bigger on the inside" because we have an addition that isn't really visible from the street, and I've had people say that my house is very comfortable or homey. Honestly, I do take those things as a compliment: I have a small house, I work hard to keep it uncluttered, nicely painted, well-decorated, with furniture that is welcoming and comfortable. I know that is a very different vibe for people who are used to living in a show home, and that's fine. When I go to their homes, I tell them that their homes are so spacious, the neutrals are so soothing, the windows let in so much light. All of which is true and positive and I am trying to be nice. Because I like them, and where they live does not have to be like where I live for us to be friends, or at least friendly acquaintances.
I think people run into trouble when they do wish they had a bigger/fancier home or feel like they settled or couldn't buy in the area where they really wanted to. Those things were maybe true for us early on in our house, but we've been here long enough that it's our home and we've put a lot into having it suit us. |
Anonymous
| I'm pretty friendly with my kids friends parents. Some of them are in my neighborhood others a few miles away. I don't like the competitive parents who come in your house and are obviously looking around to see what you have. I once hosted our annual neighborhood holiday party, I had a couple walk around the first floor of my home, loudly saying of they don't have the upgraded cabinets, oh look they have hardwood throughout the first floor, etc. I was so damn annoyed. |
Anonymous
You rock. Seriously. I've always been anxious and concerned about putting my foot in my mouth. I stress about how my anxiety may negatively affect my DS's friendships. Your comment provides a level of comfort to me and now, every time I meet a new family I will pretend that it is you. |
Anonymous
Um, you realize that you are the one being "competitive insecure" right? We live in a small condo. We like it. I never apologize for it. And I don't expect friends to apologize for their large house either. |