WWYD -- finding a K-garten for next year

Anonymous
I'm at a total loss and starting to panic over Kindergarten next year. My child is having recurrent issues at preschools -- basically just not being "with the program," so to speak. Bouncing around during rug time, not participating in certain activities, ignoring teacher requests, etc. He is very bright and very engaged -- will converse with you at length about many complex and interesting topics, is always noticing things that I do not, has a great sense of humor, etc. He's already reading, does arithmetic, and loves books. But preschool, for various reasons, has been "challenging" for everyone. He's not on the autism spectrum, but does have some sensory processing issues. At the moment, he's also totally incapable of keeping his pants dry, which may have a medical cause, but which I think is currently making everything worse with the teachers and peers. I really can't imagine sending him to our over-crowded public school at this point. But I'm also not convinced he needs a "special needs" school. Can anyone suggest a private school in Montgomery County (Bethesda, Rockville, Potomac area) that would be a good fit for a kid like this?
Anonymous
Harbor School in Bethesda might be just right. 14 kids with 2 teachers will ensure that he gets a good education.
Anonymous
OP,

Have you actually had an appointment with a developmental pediatrician or a neuropsych evaluation? The issues you describe could be due to a number of things, not just autism, adhd, learning disabilities, anxiety, speech delay, etc. etc. You need to get a sense of the big picture to help guide you to an appropriate school match.

Also, regardless of the diagnosis, behavioral therapy would probably help.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP,

Have you actually had an appointment with a developmental pediatrician or a neuropsych evaluation? The issues you describe could be due to a number of things, not just autism, adhd, learning disabilities, anxiety, speech delay, etc. etc. You need to get a sense of the big picture to help guide you to an appropriate school match.

Also, regardless of the diagnosis, behavioral therapy would probably help.


+1. You need to get your child evaluated to know what is the issue and to get help. Without knowing what the problem is, it's hard to know what kind of school will best best meet your child's needs.

Understand that in the early grades, being able to follow directions, sit during circle time, etc and socialization is just as important if not more than the academics. GL!
Anonymous
I think you need to take a deep calming breath. Now then, it's far too early for you to think about going to private just because your DS is having issues in preschool. You have no idea what the genesis of this behavior is and it may very well be within the normal range. "Normal" is a huge range and even if there are some areas where he's outside the norm doesn't mean that public school wouldn't be right for him or that he's going to be anything less than successful in K.

The only thing in your brief post that I see as a red flag is him wetting his pants. You really need to look into that. Because of your other concerns, I would start with the a developmental pediatrician. You can also contact your local school district and start the screening/eligibility process. Whether your DS has attentional issues or not, it's likely he may need accomodations for potty issues. They might also consider a report from your preschool and start doing some of their own educational testing. But, it doesn't replace a global developmental evaluation from a dev ped. Good luck (and keep breathing deeply)
Anonymous
OP here -- thanks, and keep coming with the recommendations. He's been in OT for almost a year, and seeing specialists for the wetting issues for several months now. We're also on various waitlists for a neuropsych evaluation. I'd "wait and see" (although I've been waiting and seeing for a year now...) except that the private school applications seem to be due in January, and we'd need to have him take some IQ test or something to be considered. If anyone has suggestions for specific behavioral therapists, I'll take those too.
Anonymous
Also, don't be afraid to red shirt after you do your other research.

I know that is a whole other issue. But, for some kids, it really is that modern kindergarten doesn't line up with them developmentally. Best thing we ever did for our youngest son with a summer birthday (however, we did not to it for my oldest son who also has a summer b-day). My mother also jokes that it was the best thing she did for my youngest brother 25 years ago!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here -- thanks, and keep coming with the recommendations. He's been in OT for almost a year, and seeing specialists for the wetting issues for several months now. We're also on various waitlists for a neuropsych evaluation. I'd "wait and see" (although I've been waiting and seeing for a year now...) except that the private school applications seem to be due in January, and we'd need to have him take some IQ test or something to be considered. If anyone has suggestions for specific behavioral therapists, I'll take those too.


Many private schools require the WPPSI to apply. Since your child will need the WPPSI for school you should make it a complete psychoeducational eval rather than just testing for IQ. Once you get the results, you'll get a better idea what schools. We used Stixrud but for a neuropsych for a 6 yr old which is the minimum age for a neuropsych and they did a great job. They should be able to do a psychoeducational eval for your 4 yr old.
Anonymous
While you are waiting, call Child Find and have him evaluated for services in school. They may be able to direct you for public school placement.
It is free, so unless you have a compelling reason, I'd call today.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here -- thanks, and keep coming with the recommendations. He's been in OT for almost a year, and seeing specialists for the wetting issues for several months now. We're also on various waitlists for a neuropsych evaluation. I'd "wait and see" (although I've been waiting and seeing for a year now...) except that the private school applications seem to be due in January, and we'd need to have him take some IQ test or something to be considered. If anyone has suggestions for specific behavioral therapists, I'll take those too.


OP, I really think you should consider delaying a year even for private kindergarten. It's not just the IQ test but most schools require a play date too to get accepted.

Even if he does get accepted, social skills are critical. You don't want him ostracized b/c he's disruptive or known as the kid who's always wetting his pants. He doesn't sound ready for K, maybe a junior kindergarten?

I'm not sure how you ruled out autism without an assessment but I think your gut is telling you something--that there's more going on here and waiting it out isn't working. It may not be autism, but I agree with with PP, go for a neuropsych evaluation. I wouldn't rule out SN schools until you know for sure.
Anonymous
Child Find will only handle kids under 5, right? Seems like there's a gap for kids that are over 5 but not yet in public school.
Anonymous
OP -- Red-shirting isn't an option. He just missed the cut-off for K-garten this year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Child Find will only handle kids under 5, right? Seems like there's a gap for kids that are over 5 but not yet in public school.


No gap. Services are provided but possibly through a different office. Child find will direct you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP -- Red-shirting isn't an option. He just missed the cut-off for K-garten this year.


OP, you may not be able to redshirt for public, but you can put him in a private JK.

Also lots of kids repeat K. There's no shame in this. We've known many people that do a private K, then go public for K b/c their kid need more time master a particular skill, sometimes social, sometimes physical, sometimes cognitive. Don't let cut offs be the driving force. (It's also easier for a kid to repeat K than 3rd or 4th.)
Anonymous
Depending on how he does with unstructured time, Green Acres might be a good choice -- lots of outdoor time and small classes.
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