"Autism symptoms seen in babies" - how/when do you stop worrying?
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Anonymous
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So, my news feed today tells me that a new study shows that babies who go on to develop autism demonstrate less eye contact than babies who do not develop autism as early as 2 months:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=autism-symptoms-seen-in-babies DH and I are in our 40's and we have a baby boy, so I have been a bit worried that we fall into higher risk groups for our son developing autism. I found it reassuring, though, that he seemed to love to make eye contact. The last two months, though, he has been making less and less eye contact. My irrational brain screams OMG HE'S DEVELOPING AUTISM, and my rational brain tries to be heard over the screaming and say, "No, crazy lady, he's just more interested in the world around him and less interested in you now." But now I read a study that children with autism make as much eye contact until 2 months of age and then progressively less. I'm sure there have been similar studies that cause freakouts about other things like this. As a parent, how do you manage this kind of anxiety? |
Anonymous
| Things that you can control and things that you cannot. You will always worry about your child. That's "mother" nature. But if you child has a disability, then they do. And you rise to the occasion. There's no point in worrying today about what may be in the future. |
Anonymous
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By telling myself that my worrying won't change the outcome. I know that I made the best choices I could at any given time with the information I had. If that's not true (for example, I just found out I was using my carseat wrong...oops), I correct whatever it is and try and learn a lesson from my error.
I also think it helps me that I have training in research methods and so am not as affected by each new study as I might otherwise be. |
Anonymous
| How old is your baby now? I've read about a pull to sit test that can be used by ages 4 to 6 months to test for head lag associated with autism or cerebral palsy. Not to add any reason for worry since the odds are greatly on the side of your baby being perfectly healthy! |
Anonymous
OP here. Wow, thanks! He's nearly 6 months, but he was six weeks early, so he's about 4.5 adjusted. I had never heard there was head lag associated with autism. He's doing pretty well at raising his head when pulled to sit so that would be a relief.  But I probably shouldn't be indulging this anxiety at all!
PP's are right -- I'm going to love this little boy no matter what. No point borrowing worry. I'm one of the people who posted in Expectant Parents section about fears that my baby had dwarfism because he had a really really short femur compared to head circumference at a late ultrasound. I freaked and googled dwarfism for two weeks obsessively until someone posted something like, "What does it matter at this point? You can't stop dwarfism, you aren't going to terminate, so you're just going to love your baby no matter what." And she was right. It's a bit tricker with autism since early intervention can make such a difference, but still. I'm going to love him no matter what, and there's not really anything else we'd be doing now that we're not doing, so I ought to just try to shout down these fears and enjoy him. Right? |
Anonymous
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Didnt they say you need a tracker to measure eye contact? Like, you cant eyeball it?
But regardless, i get the fear. I am so exhausted of these "red flags" everywhere, I feel I cant enjoy my child, I am studying her instead  . But it never stops, I guess, it just shifts to something else. Though i find occasional rest from the internet helpful.
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Anonymous
OP - you are going to have to calm down. My son was six weeks early and all of his milestones have been delayed. It is not uncommon with preemies, and often, those delays look like autism at certain stages. My son is only 22 months now, so we are by no means out of the woods, but he had the head lag, was late to sit, and did not walk until 15 months. Now we are dealign with speech delays. But, and this is only a but, all evaluators that have looked at him have noted that he has no autistic traits. Prematurity dramatically increases the risk for delays, and often, those delays are "red flags" for autism. So, please internalize this -- because your kid is a preemie you are going to have to give him a little more time. I am an anxiety nut and all of these delays have caused me so much grief, but I have finally accepted that worrying is not going to help anything. Guided optimism is your goal. If there is an issue, you will address it when you can. That is all you can do. Do go talk to someone about PPD -- it often manifests as anxiety about the baby's health. And one thing is for sure -- this time flies by, regardless if your kid has SN or is NT, and you are going to love that kid like crazy. Don't waste one second of being there worrying about what might be. |
Anonymous
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Don't worry, OP. There are lots of crappy learning disabilities/conditions that could affect your kid life long will cost you a ton of money and time to seek treatment, strain your marriage, and put your quality of life in the toilet.
Look at a frickin cdc milestone chart. if the kid doesn't have any red flags, move on with your life. |
Anonymous
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Don't go looking to borrow somone else's trouble. Seriously. There are thousands upon thousands of parents in the trenches, dealing with autism. Don't borrow their pain.
On a lighter note, it is like buying size 44 inch pants when you are still a size 28 inch because you like cupcakes, and you know, you might be a 44 one day. |
Anonymous
Even if your kid DOES have red flags, and DOES have a disability, there are things you can do to address it -- but the most important of all of those things is to love and accept him unconditionally, and embrace what he CAN do rather than what he can't. So start doing that one right now. |
Anonymous
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OP, I wouldn't worry. There is little to nothing you can do at that age other than providing a comforting, nurturing environment (which you are doing). I would worry more if your child is not smiling regularly. Does your child laugh? Does he remember you or notice when you leave the room? I repeat the earlier advice of looking at a milestone chart and seeing if he's dropping off.
Even if your child were to have autism, it would not matter. You will still love them either way. Frankly I'm surprised that no one with a special needs child has flamed you for being so worried about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world either way. |
Anonymous
| You can work on eye contact |
Anonymous
How? |
Anonymous
not PP, but look into the kids eyes. if an infant does has autism, there's probably not much you can in terms of intervention at that point any way. |
Anonymous
Well, thanks for stating the obvious. OP's kid is a baby and what he CAN do is probably poop in his diaper like any other baby. OP, you are wasting your time obsessing over this. Stop reading articles on autism and just look at the milestone charts. |