Annoying grandma advice regarding crying baby

[Anonymous]

My mother was a SAHM and raised two children with limitless to no help. She and my father were good parents and did whst they could to give us stable childhoods. How come thirty years later the only advice she can offer regarding a fussy/crying baby is "he's cold " and "he needs to be held." I'm not kidding when I say that is more or less all she had told me since DS was born. The last time I told her DS was crying all evening because of gas her answer was maybe he's just cold. I've heard other friends with kids say this too.

[Anonymous]

*little to no help (sorry, iPhone)

[Anonymous]

If you don't like her advice, stop asking.

[Anonymous]

What, you think she has the secret to making babies stop crying and is holding out? She doesn't remember. She just muddled through like every mother ever.

[Anonymous]

I ask because I'm taking her up on repeated offers to help. Helping consists on holding the baby and saying he's cold.

[Anonymous]

People forget. She had babies a long time ago. And maybe he does just want to be held.

[Anonymous]

What a horrible daughter you are. Have some respect.

[Anonymous]

Your choices are: stop asking her for help, or smile and nod and move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are a new mother, no? Her advice is actually absolutely on target -- tiny babies need to be held. That's what they want. It sucks for you. Sorry. And if she's willing to hold the baby for you, treasure her. It will allow you to take a shower, take a nap, take a walk. There's not much else she can actually do for the baby other than hold it, change it, burp it. She can't breastfeed it. She can't drug it.

Read your own post a year from now. You will realize it's petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask because I'm taking her up on repeated offers to help. Helping consists on holding the baby and saying he's cold.

If she's holding the baby, she is a gem. Get her a blanket for the baby and shut up. (I mean the "Shut up" nicely, but really. Shut up.)

[Anonymous]

My Mom raised 4 children and says she forgot.

Maybe it's nature's coping mechanism - we forget about life's stresses

[Anonymous]

Most "Grandma of newborn is annoying" complaints center on unsolicited and unhelpful advice. It sounds like you are repeatedly soliciting the same unhelpful advice. The solution is to stop.

[Anonymous]

OP, your mom is actually offering more than what she's saying. Little babies need to be held, and, thanks to breast-feeding and being the one who carried the baby for nine months*, it's mostly by their mothers.

If you want detailed, in the trenches advice of how to deal with newborn fussiness, spell out your situation here or talk to your ped. But, for the first three months, the answer is often just being held.

*Or whoever is their primary caregiver in the case of adoption, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What, you think she has the secret to making babies stop crying and is holding out? She doesn't remember. She just muddled through like every mother ever.

+1

[Anonymous]

So are you holding the baby? It's true, they do need to be held. You don't see apes putting down their babies. Human babies are similar.

Swaddle a new baby, which keeps it warm enough and makes it feel held. Hold it, feed it often. Get a sling so you can basically wear it and have your hands free.

I personally find babies annoying, but I made myself hold/wear my three all the time. I had zero help. If your mom will come over and help hold your baby, just be incredibly thankful and hand it over and go take a nap or something.