Girls starting K at age 6 -- quick poll

[Anonymous]

My sister is convinced she wants to give her June bday DD that Gift of a Year, for no real reason. Niece is not delayed or notably immature, and in fact is a bit advanced in gross motor. Public school. Oh, and she's in the 90th % for height, so that's not an issue.

Has anyone reading this ever heard of a similar situation, ever, with a girl?

[Anonymous]

I went to school with a girl who had a June birthday and she was the one of the oldest in our grade.

[Anonymous]

No never... in the longer term she will be the first to develop sexually and be larger then the boys in her class. Academically it all evens out. Propose a gap year as a gift - between high school and college - so she can travel the world or volunteer.

[Anonymous]

I would caution your sister. If this child is 90%ile for height, next year she will be a head taller than all the other girls who are younger than she is. Very few girls get the self esteem from being very tall. At that age, the cutsie kids are the smaller girls. The BOYS benefit from height. Your sis might be inadvertently setting her up for embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the OP, but I wanted to respond to a previous poster. I love the idea about taking a year between high school and college if needed instead of delaying kindy. I was just thinking that I wish I myself had done that. I was the youngest in my class b/c I have an Oct. birthday (so I started when I was almost 5) and the cut-off was Sept. 1 (This happened b/c I attended Kind. in another state and then we moved when I started 1st grade). Anyway, I never had any trouble k-12 and was glad to be in my grade. BUT I wasn't ready for college in terms of maturity. I wound up doing fine, but would have been a lot happier and focused if I'd had an extra year at that point.

[Anonymous]

I find this subject very interesting. I am kind in the exact opposite situation. My daughter has a September birthdate and is in the 90% for height. She is only 2, but I already hope to be able to push her ahead and have her start K at the age of 5. With a 9/1 cutoff she would be one of the youngest in her grade considering her birthdate is mid September. She already is a head taller than her friends with May/ June birthdays. Is it wrong of me to want to push her forward and does anyone know of schools that allow instances of students with September birthdays to start early. Her speech and maturity seem to be excellant to me.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's wrong at all! My DD has a late August birthday (i.e., made the cutoff by a few days, and only b/c she was born a week earlier than my due date). Our Ped. said that if she hadn't made the cut-off she would have recommended the testing to start early. I know several kids in our neighborhood (Mont. Co.) who were able to get in early (birthdays within 6 weeks of cut-off is the rule).

[Anonymous]

A lot of the private schools are hinting hard that my June DD should stay back...before they've even met her! Leaves a bad taste in my mouth - I'm resisting.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old daughter is a July birthday. It never occurred to me to hold her back until last year we applied to 2 private schools for pre-K in part because we were having childcare issues and they offered extended day. I thought of my daughter as very verbal and social (still do) and was surprised when each school said she wasn't ready for pre-K and to consider holding her back - wasn't sure how such a thing could be determined in a 3 year old. This resulted in me seeing a child psychologist and some testing (learning disabilities are in my family) which verified she was quite ahead verbally but below average in the puzzle/reasoning-type things. So, now we've worked some on these things and I am planning to have her start K next fall. But, I have to admit I am now more open to holding her back than I had previously thought. Parenting continues to remind me that many of my preconceived notions fall away in the face of the reality of a particular situation.

[Anonymous]

From what I'm reading, I would guess then that most of these posters would think that my DD with a late June birthday (who's only 2 now) who is TINY TINY for her age (not even on the charts) should be held back? I was really small myself and I May birthday, never felt old or young, about in the middle, and I never cared about being small (Actually kind of liked it). But maybe things are a little different now? We will likely be doing private school in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is convinced she wants to give her June bday DD that Gift of a Year, for no real reason. Niece is not delayed or notably immature, and in fact is a bit advanced in gross motor. Public school. Oh, and she's in the 90th % for height, so that's not an issue.

Has anyone reading this ever heard of a similar situation, ever, with a girl?

No real reason? Or no reason that she is sharing with you?

Not trying to be obnoxious, but there must be some reason (albeit possibly misguided or simply very private), otherwise why not just flip a coin? Heads = school, Tails = redshirt. Is it possible that she read an article or study and mis-interpreted some of the conclusions?

[Anonymous]

Only recently. I met a father who plans to start his August b-day daughter in K after the girl's 6 birthday since, according to the father, she'll be more mature then. No way to know if there are other issues/underlying concerns. The girl who is 4 now was absolutely delightful; she was extremely articulate, outgoing, and gracious/kind to the other children. I hope the age differentiation in K doesn't get too pronounced; my summer birthday child will be more than 1 year younger than at least a few classmates. Hmmm... Montessori seems to work by mixing ages in the same classroom, right? Perhaps we're heading in that direction unintentionally.

[Anonymous]

to the 9:54 poster
Private schools will work with you on cut-off dates.

The general theme with that:
Catholic schools will allow you to stat a child earlier who just misses the cut-off
"Top" Private Schools will probably want your child to re-do Pre-K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only recently. I met a father who plans to start his August b-day daughter in K after the girl's 6 birthday since, according to the father, she'll be more mature then. No way to know if there are other issues/underlying concerns. The girl who is 4 now was absolutely delightful; she was extremely articulate, outgoing, and gracious/kind to the other children. I hope the age differentiation in K doesn't get too pronounced; my summer birthday child will be more than 1 year younger than at least a few classmates. Hmmm... Montessori seems to work by mixing ages in the same classroom, right? Perhaps we're heading in that direction unintentionally.

That would make this girl about 17 months older than my son, who is currently in Pre-K as a 4 year old.

[Anonymous]

My DD turned 6 two weeks before school started for K. She has yet, we're 3 years later now, to be the oldest or tallest in the class. There was no obvious reason to do it. The private school she applied to determined it. She was reading chapter books before K started. I wasn't thrilled at first, but I've not been able to find a valid complaint with it so far.

I think the issue of redshirting is so controversial b/c parents seem to be making the choice, rather than the schools. No teacher wants to teach to a wider age range than they have to. It's in the best interest of the school to determine the cutoff dates and not let parents make that decision unless they are able to support it with something other than "I just want DC to be a leader, etc.."

There is no point in arguing amongst ourselves here - get on your school to put a 12 month age limit in the classroom!