Inviting an "Ex" to a party
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Anonymous
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I am having a milestone birthday coming up....one which it seemed that I would not make because of medical issues. I do not have many close friends, but one is an Ex who I talk with regularly, but I have not seen her in almost 20 years. My DW has not met her in person, and is the jealous type. The thing is, I would like to invite her to the party. But, I know it will be a problem, so I won't bring it up. I have no physical attraction to her: things broke up quickly after going from friends to more (she is 20 years older than me, and I was in grad school when we met).
I probably will just drop it. Besides, if we get together, I want to be able to visit more than in a room full of people. (DW would be invited to join us....nothing will happen). |
Anonymous
| So... You want advice or no? You basically laid out the situation and answered it yourself. |
Anonymous
| Jealous type here. I would fake that it's okay, and then withhold sex and put laxative in your food. For starters. |
Anonymous
| Tee hee. |
Anonymous
| You sound charming. |
Anonymous
| No. It's not OK. Why do you want to invite this ex and visit? It's one thing if you run somewhere into her. It's totally different to seek out and invite. She is from your past. She belongs in the past. Just let her stay there unless u want her to be part of your present and your future. But in this case you need to be open about it with your wife. I would flip if DH came out of the blue and said he wants an ex at his milestone birthday party. I wouldn't do it to my h either. |
Anonymous
| Midlife crisis |
Anonymous
This. Does your "jealous type" wife know you communicate regularly with the Ex? |
Anonymous
| I would be really pissed if you invited your ex-girlfriend. I would seriously question our relationship. I would not attend the party and if I had a real concern, have your bags packed and waiting for you at the door upon your return home. |
Anonymous
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Wow, PPs are a bunch of psychos. Too bad your wife is insecure like them, but sounds like it's not a good idea to invite your old friend.
Happy birthday and congrats on overcoming the medical issues. |
Anonymous
| If I'm reading this correctly, she'd be near retirement age now, while you and possibly also your wife are in your forties? Maybe your wife won't be jealous of someone that much older? |
Anonymous
| Just drop it. Stop creating drama unless you like that sort of thing. Then go for it and enjoy the explosion on your face. |
Anonymous
| Here's my take: she's got to be in her 60s right? You said you haven't seen her in 20 years, you were in grad school at the time, and she's 20 years older than you. I can't imagine a sane woman in her 30s40s feeling threatened by a 60+ year old woman. I think it's fine if you invite but talk to the wife first. |
Anonymous
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OP here: Actually, I am turning 50. The Ex is 72. DW would not be threatened by anything other than the fact that I have known here for longer than DW. The Ex and I met while I was in grad school. We became very close friends before anything physical happened. (we were dealing with our own issues, and found a support system in each other). After she left her husband, we became closer. But, she could never provide me everything I wanted: mostly, kids.
We remain in contact. DW knows this, and is ok, as she does not live locally. |
Anonymous
| you dated a woman 22 years older than you? |