How much cursing to take?

[Anonymous]

Husband curses at me (b word, c word, f word) pretty much every time we fight and he also has anger issues. This is getting old. How much is acceptable?

[Anonymous]

None. I laid down this law when we started dating 13 years ago at age 16 and my husband said a curse word towards me once - mind you not calling me a name but using a curse word during an argument. Something akin to "who the fuck cares" I told him that was an unacceptable way to talk to me. We occasionally slip and say something like "Don't be an ass" but that is as strong as it gets. I would never ever tolerate him calling me a bitch or a cunt or anything like that. Horribly inappropriate in my opinion. And of course I give him the same respect.

[Anonymous]

I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

Oh, please. Some people just swear as a product of their environment. I think this is a nice compromise.

[Anonymous]

I don't care if DH swears in general (although not once DS is older). Like another PP, I would not tolerate being sworn AT.
There is a big difference between "I can't believe they just lost the fucking game. That bitch ref was horrible with those shitty calls" and "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm so fucking sick of arguing with you about the same shit all the time. You are such a bitch"

(pulling these two examples out of thin air)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

Oh, please. Some people just swear as a product of their environment. I think this is a nice compromise.

Thank you! Can't be in control of everything. At the very least, I think it's nice that he actually cuts off his mouth when needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

[Anonymous]

If my husband (or anyone) called me the C-word, it would be over for me. I find that word completely unacceptable. But if we were fighting and he said "F you," that would be more acceptable, because that is what he is feeling right at that moment. How often does this happen? I'd be worried about the level of anger, if not the actual words he's using to express it.

My circle curses. Not quite on "sailor" level, but we are comfortable with throwing the F word around. After 20 years of working in mostly male-dominated workplaces (fields like construction and finance), I'm used to it. I automatically filter when I'm around parents or kids or authority figures.

[Anonymous]

Anger issues aside (these are important!), life must be pretty easy if cursing is such a source of marital stress. Really, someone would divorce over being called a name in the heat of an argument?

Ok, I'll step back now and you can all take your shots at the shitty fucking asshole man.

[Anonymous]

I['m sorry OP but is he verbally abusing you? I ask b/c my ex-dh started calling me "bitch" occassionally, then for things like not getting him a sandwich fasgt enough at the airport - then it go to "night mre" and all sorts of other names. i would just ask yourself if the name calling is getting worse, if he is doing anything else that is crossing the line as well. my ex-DH had anger and rage issues. I didnt realize how bad it was becausd it got only incrementally worse. There is a book by Patricia Evans called The Verbaly Abusive Relationship which helped me recognize my denial - not sure your situation is this bad but worth picking up the book IMO.l

[Anonymous]

So for the women who say they "won't tolerate" it what exactly do you mean? Are you going to kick him out? Divorce him? Not talk to him for a week? Withhold sex? That phrase is so thrown around, I wonder if push came to shove if any if you would really do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

Would you rather I say it in a way you can understand? You're both fuckin' trash.