Boyfriend and I have different outlooks

[Anonymous]

Hello. I will try to keep this basic.
We have been together for almost three years. Things have been different the past few months. We've had our ups and (very minor) downs, but it seems as if lately we've been in a funk. I am leaving out a whole bunch of backstory here, but I can never seem to get to the point, so I am trying to keep this simple.

BF grew up in a bad environment. In a town that is known for being just terrible. There was abuse, parental mental instability, poverty, father left, lots of family drama. He is, however, very close with his Mom and siblings, and they are great. They are all very close, and doing very well for themselves despite their childhood.
BF is on a set path he has made for himself. He went to college, got his masters, works FT and is applying for more schooling to further his education/career. He has a constant improvement mantra and is all about goals.

I grew up in a good environment. Great family (despite divorce), middle class, no drama, loving supportive parents/siblings. I graduated college, despite partying too much and not being the best student. I had an okay job after school, and stuck with it longer than I should. I recently took a new job which was a big step for me. I don't have a career path and am still in a "don't know what I want to do when I grow up" stage, despite being in my late 20's. I have a good work ethic, enjoy working, make good money (more than him)* and am great at what I do, but I don't have the best ambition when it comes to a career.


BF recently told me it scares him how I am 'just content' living my life. He said he always needs a goal and he thinks that we (as people) should never just be content. He thinks that we should always be striving to be better.

The thing is, I agree with him. I think it's great that he has that mindset and he will benefit greatly from it. But at this moment in my life, I am content with myself. He has brought this up before, and will most likely continue to bring it up. I don't want to break up, but this is clearly a very important outlook he has, and I just feel like I am disappointing him. Yet, I can't pretend to be something I am not. If I am going to change, or wake up one day and have this drive that I am lacking, it will be for myself, not to ensure someone isn't disappointed in me. And I am not sure when that will happen.



Any advice?

* I only mention the money thing, because I have read posts here before about men being concerned over a woman's earning potential and that can cause problems. This isn't about money for him.

[Anonymous]

Dude, you just posted about this last week. (You're a nanny.) If you want different advice, you should probably ask a different question.

[Anonymous]

Is he critical in other ways? Why is he feeling the need to criticize you? With his background, I would be worried why he is belittling you.

I think it is great to be content. Maybe he feels the need to criticize this trait because he doesn't have it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, you just posted about this last week. (You're a nanny.) If you want different advice, you should probably ask a different question.

I am glad I am not the only one following every thread. Still can't get over those deleted threads. Sigh.