SIL still makes her kids kiss everyone goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Her DDs are 6 and 8. When they were toddlers SIL would always make them go around the room giving everyone kisses good bye. It was cute, but now it seems forced. My kids just say goodbye and give a hug to grandma or a handshake. Whatever they are comfortable with. SIL still makes her kids kiss everyone. I mean everyone, even people they hardly know. I can tell the kids are uncomfortable with this and I always offer my hand to shake. It is bizarre behavior, especially for someone who shows no affection to her kids in public. I have never seen her kiss or hug them. I am thinking of saying something next time, just because I think someone needs to look out for the kids. There are a lot of weirdos out there, and I don't think her DDs should be kissing on just anyone.

[Anonymous]

I'm 27 and I still hug and kiss my whole family when leaving. My husbands family is the same. I can't imagine shaking my nieces hand as a way to say goodbye....

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Maybe its cultural. Lots of cultures kiss as a greeting - even people they hardly know. They don't all grow up to be damaged.

MYOB

[Anonymous]

I agree that she shouldn't make them kiss strangers, but I think you're bizzare for trying to shake your niece's hand. In my family everyone hugs or kisses hello and goodbye. I cannot imagine shaking my grandmother's hand.

So, you do your thing and let her do hers. She's not unusual.

[Anonymous]

I was taught to, and still, hug and kiss everyone hello and goodbye. My whole family does it. All the kids do it too. It's not forced, and if the younger kids are up late or particularly cranky they may just blow kisses to the room or something, but in general they greet everyone, and thank them when they leave.

[Anonymous]

My family also give kiss and hugs to say hello and goodbye; we are very affectional.
It is weird of you to offer a hand shake to your niece.

[Anonymous]

While you may not approve of your SIL, it is wrong of you to try to sabotage her upbringing of her children through the "handshake technique." OP, what did you feel this accomplished?

[Anonymous]

Handshake??? Weird !!! MYOB. And save your handshake for a business meeting....not your family.

[Anonymous]

Wow. My kids are 19, 16, and 11. They still give everyone kisses. And they are boys.

[Anonymous]

kids should be taught to greet and say goodbye to everyone. Your sister in law is doing the right thing. It will help them in the long term. I think it is awful when parents don't make their kids say goodbye to adults in the room. Just grandma is not enough....

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird to "make" anyone kiss another person. I understand why the OP is uncomfortable. I think the handshake is about all you can do, OP.

[Anonymous]

Not sure about this one. OOH, you shouldn't make DC do that. But OTOH, I know someone who made their kids do this. And it helped them a lot with their social skills and they used it to become successful in their adult lives. But I think they also might not be happy adults. But what could they do when those were their parents? So they might as well be successful... I guess.

[Anonymous]

When a parent prompts their kids to kiss me and I see them hesitate I always say to the kid, "It feels weird to kiss someone I don't know well. Let's just hug instead, okay?" and I always see a look of relief wash over their faces.

[Anonymous]

Although I don't think you should force your kids to kiss everyone I see not problem with hugs for family. I cannot imagine shaking hands with my nieces and nephews. That's so stiff and cold. When they were little there was always tons of smooches and hugs. Now that my nephews are older they don't do kisses anymore but big hugs are always welcome. Shaking hands is very odd.