Parent teacher conferences - code words?

[Anonymous]

Teachers described DS's math skills as "solid" -- does that mean average or just adequate?

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I'm a teacher and I often use solid for above average.

[Anonymous]

It means he's got his shit down cold. Worry about something else.

[Anonymous]

Solid would be a good thing I would think.

[Anonymous]

I've always loved hearing teachers respond to parental concerns about a child's work/grades with "it's developmental", which means "I'm totally clueless about what to do with your kids, so please get off my back."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm, I'm a teacher and I often use solid for above average.

That's interesting. I'd think solid is around average, but certainly not extraordinary.

[Anonymous]

If this is what you're worried about consider yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always loved hearing teachers respond to parental concerns about a child's work/grades with "it's developmental", which means "I'm totally clueless about what to do with your kids, so please get off my back."

It is also code for "your kid is not as bright as you think she is, but you will go batshit crazy if I suggest that she is anything but a genius."

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher and the "developmental" suggestion is real, but it does mean your child is behind and often incapable of learning the material or skill. Hopefully with maturity it will become a skill they can handle. Would you prefer we say "your kid is way dumber than the rest of the class and doesn't have a shot?" I think it's interesting that you believe the teacher doesn't know what to do with your kid. We know what to do but can't rearrange the whole curriculum just for one student. The others are moving along well and all is great, the whole class can't suffer for one developmentally delayed child. Maybe the school isn't the right fit for your child. There are many schools built to accommodate this type of learner.

[Anonymous]

"It's developmental..." Can be true. You can have a first or second grader without the reading fluency that others in The class have, but who is a great thinker. With time and work, the gap will be bridged and the kid will be fine, or even excel, if s/he has the ability. An exceptionally bright child just may not be the top reader in the class at that age. In this case, the child is best served by doing LOTS of reading even if it's hard work, and being read to. Some parents are so pressed to have their kids be #1 all the time, they put excruciating pressure on the child, and a child who is fine --but needs a little more time at this moment in life-- feels like a failure when they are no such thing. This is when you might also hear: It's developmental. Not saying its NOT sometimes a code word for other problems, but sometimes, it IS developmental.

[Anonymous]

Usually each parent teacher conference that I have attended starts out with the teacher talking about how busy she/he is, especially if the conference is taking place in the evening. Note, it is best to just agree with them about how "busy" they are. Note, don't point out the obvious, that you fully understand about being busy, since most parents (regardless of whether SAH or not) have an even more complicated and heavy year-round schedule than most teachers (unless the teacher also has school-aged kids) and that most parents are not only working full-time in the home or outside the home AND parenting AND volunteering for the community. If you indicate that you are also busy, and probably even more busy than a typical teacher, the conversation somehow goes downhill from there....so just keep to the code of acting like teachers are the busiest of all creatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually each parent teacher conference that I have attended starts out with the teacher talking about how busy she/he is, especially if the conference is taking place in the evening. Note, it is best to just agree with them about how "busy" they are. Note, don't point out the obvious, that you fully understand about being busy, since most parents (regardless of whether SAH or not) have an even more complicated and heavy year-round schedule than most teachers (unless the teacher also has school-aged kids) and that most parents are not only working full-time in the home or outside the home AND parenting AND volunteering for the community. If you indicate that you are also busy, and probably even more busy than a typical teacher, the conversation somehow goes downhill from there....so just keep to the code of acting like teachers are the busiest of all creatures.

You are an ass.

[Anonymous]

I had a great teacher's conference this year for my child. The teacher did not mention how busy she was. She did go over what material she was covering and how my child was doing. She gave concrete examples of what my child was excelling in and concrete examples of what she thought needed more work. For the areas needing more work she gave me pointers on how I could help support this process and it was all very helpful. I left not only thinking I know what was going on in class and we my child stood but also felt empowered on little things I could do to help the process. I thought to myself that this teacher is truly a professional and my dd is so lucky to have her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually each parent teacher conference that I have attended starts out with the teacher talking about how busy she/he is, especially if the conference is taking place in the evening. Note, it is best to just agree with them about how "busy" they are. Note, don't point out the obvious, that you fully understand about being busy, since most parents (regardless of whether SAH or not) have an even more complicated and heavy year-round schedule than most teachers (unless the teacher also has school-aged kids) and that most parents are not only working full-time in the home or outside the home AND parenting AND volunteering for the community. If you indicate that you are also busy, and probably even more busy than a typical teacher, the conversation somehow goes downhill from there....so just keep to the code of acting like teachers are the busiest of all creatures.

Your comments are interesting because I've never had a teacher talk about his/her busy schedule. In any school, certainly a top-notch school, the focus of a conference should be the child and not the educators. Are you pleased with the academic environment? Also, you seem tired and overly stressed. Maybe it was just an unusually hard day? If not, perhaps you could take a look at ways you could have more free time to enjoy being a parent of school-aged kids.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher, a mother of three school kids and running my household and have never mentioned how busy I am to a single parent. You must be at a horrific school and even though you are mentioning how self centered the teacher seems you come across as way more self centered. It's all about you and no one could possibly get how busy you are as a mom. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I don't teach your kid.