Parent teacher conference with student

[Anonymous]

Our child is in 4th grade and the teacher is setting up parent/teacher/student conferences instead of parent teacher. I am not sure how helpful this will be. Is this common for this grade? Is this what is done in middle and high school?

[Anonymous]

huh, I didn't realize that happens in public school - our old private school does that for middle school but not elementary. I would talk to the teacher. For us it was a kind of a disaster, but I have an anxious LD student who really was overwhelmed by it, but most of the middle schoolers do very well and I think it really helps them take ownership of their education.

[Anonymous]

I didn't know they do this but I would love it. Every one needs to be on the same page, student, teacher and parent.

[Anonymous]

When I taught, I was always SO leery of any parent, teacher and student meetings. So often, if I gave any constructive feedback, the parents would start drilling the kid and in some cases, berating the child. The kid would be embarrassed, I would be embarrassed and I think the parents were embarrassed as well. I really didn't like them.

I tell you this not as a judgement of the teacher holding the conferences, but as a caution, to you the parent. Take what the teacher says in-stride and discuss with your child (the good and bad) in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child is in 4th grade and the teacher is setting up parent/teacher/student conferences instead of parent teacher. I am not sure how helpful this will be. Is this common for this grade? Is this what is done in middle and high school?

We had a parent/teacher/student conference last year and I found it to be absolutely worthless. I really don't see the effectiveness of this; it's hard to have an honest/productive conversation with the student right there listening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our child is in 4th grade and the teacher is setting up parent/teacher/student conferences instead of parent teacher. I am not sure how helpful this will be. Is this common for this grade? Is this what is done in middle and high school?

We had a parent/teacher/student conference last year and I found it to be absolutely worthless. I really don't see the effectiveness of this; it's hard to have an honest/productive conversation with the student right there listening.

This was for 4th BTW, and they're doing the same thing for 5th.

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader also told me that her teacher said the kids were supposed to come to the conferences. I'm not happy about it at all. We have ONE 15 minute conference per year with the teacher. That conference will be completely different if my child is there. I want the adults to speak freely so that we are all clear and honest about how things are going (and I don't think that will happen the same way w/my DD in the room. For ex., I want to know the teacher's thoughts about social dynamics and the fact that my DD's best friend in the class might not be a good influence. However, I don't need/want my DD to hear me ask about those things.

I don't like the idea of having to fight for a private conference with the teacher. It starts to feel like more MCPS hide-the-ball. Even the conferences are getting watered down.

[Anonymous]

Can't you just tell the teacher that your child will be unable to attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader also told me that her teacher said the kids were supposed to come to the conferences. I'm not happy about it at all. We have ONE 15 minute conference per year with the teacher. That conference will be completely different if my child is there. I want the adults to speak freely so that we are all clear and honest about how things are going (and I don't think that will happen the same way w/my DD in the room. For ex., I want to know the teacher's thoughts about social dynamics and the fact that my DD's best friend in the class might not be a good influence. However, I don't need/want my DD to hear me ask about those things.

I don't like the idea of having to fight for a private conference with the teacher. It starts to feel like more MCPS hide-the-ball. Even the conferences are getting watered down.

The teacher and you, as a parent, should be able to talk freely about your child's progress. A 15 minute conference isn't meant for dealing with social issues regarding peers.

[Anonymous]

It isn't about dealing w/social issues. It is about speaking freely about the peer dynamics in the class. I want to discuss those things w/o my kid in the room. I think it is uncomfortable to have to request not having my kid there b/c it is clearly the teacher's preference to include the student. Odd.

[Anonymous]

Frankly I don't even want to speak entirely candidly about academics with my kid in the room. Kids get feedback from teachers all day long. This conference should be parent/teacher time. A kid doesn't need to discuss/hear all the feedback. Some things are appropriate to keep just btwn the adults.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can't tell her my child can't come. She has made it clear that the child has to be there.

[Anonymous]

Then at the end of the conference, ask the kid to step outside. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then at the end of the conference, ask the kid to step outside. Problem solved.

Our school allots 15 minutes, and the teacher isn't even there for all of it. It's "student led". You would have to try to cram a real conversation into a couple of minutes at the end and hope that the other two sets of parents in the room didn't want to do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

In some cases, it is helpful to have the child there. For instance, if the teacher feels that the child isn't putting forth the effort they could be, having a conversation with the parent and the student at the same time, where they can all come up with a plan for improvement, can make a difference. A fourth grader is old enough to be a part of the conversation.