filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?

[Anonymous]

OKay, I'm freaking out. My mother and stepfather have been financially irresponsible their entire lives. Buying new stuff before paying bills, foreclosed house, constant problems. My mom never cared for me, and I have paid my own way in life since I was about 13 years old. Additionally, my mom was highly abusive when I was a child and we are not close. For some years, I have tried to help where I could, but about a decade I just cut it all off. I can't support my family and theirs anymore. (We are a family of four with a HHI of about 120K, not wealthy, but living fine within our means). Anyway, recently my mom was telling me that, because my adult brother (who does not pay rent or give them money) lives at home with them, his income (small as it is) is counted as part of their household income and has precluded them from pursuing any government assistance. I was skeptical, did some digging, and don't think that is true. But, while digging, I learned that my home state (and lots of others) has a filial responsibilty law.

I'm not a lawyer, but it looks to me like if my parents, who do not have any health insurance, were to need state nursing home care, the state could sue me, as the adult child, for filial responsibility and make me pay for it.

Is this possible? Can this possibly be true or correct? If so, I am simply terrified. My mom will never take steps toward resolving her financial problems, and what's more, at this point, given her age, she probably cannot possibly do so. I want someone to tell me I am misunderstanding, but several articles I've read lately have suggested that with state and govt. run subsidy costs mounting, states are increasingly enforcing these laws.

Please, someone tell me that I will have to split my money between caring for my own children kids and caring for my parents, who never lifted a finger to support me? Please tell me I'm misunderstanding. How could it possibly be fair to make me pay for my parents debts and problems?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps a better explanation:

http://wills.about.com/b/2012/06/13/what-is-filial-responsibility-and-why-should-you-be-concerned-about-it.htm

[Anonymous]

OP, are you in touch with your mother? When did she marry your stepfather--after you became an adult? I'm wondering if it's possible to sever legal ties with them. What state do you live in and where do they live?

[Anonymous]

Been thru this with a parent that recently passed away in a filial support state.
I have not been sued, but have received bills that I have sent back.
To protect yourself I would do 2 things,
1) Never, ever, ever agree to take financial responsibility for anything.
I did not even do POA when my parent went into nursing home

2) find some a few xtra dollars in ur budget for a life insurance policy on ur mother.
At some point, u may need it for funeral expenses, etc.
My one parent did it, for me, the year before my other parent died. AND THEY HAD BEEN DIVORCED FOR 40 years.
But they knew how irresponsible other parent was Xmas knew I would need it when the time came .

[Anonymous]

^^pp
My deceased parent lived in the filial support state, I live in a different state.

[Anonymous]

Don't think you are on the hook for your stepfather, unless he adopted you.

[Anonymous]

OP - With your brother's income, the income guidelines would be for a family of 3. Did you check the guidelines for Food Stamps, Heap, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Do you live in the same state where they live? It is much harder for them to come after you if you don't live there or own property there.

While lots of states have these laws, the only one I know of that aggressively enforces it is Pennsylvania. And your mother and stepfather would need to exhaust their resources before the state would turn to you. It might be too early to freak out, and most states have provisions regarding parental abandonment of children.

I'd love to know how these states deal with situations like stepparents, especially step parents who come on the scene later in life.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. What if you have your own children to take care of? Then what? They come second to the old parents?

[Anonymous]

I really hope someone brings a case to the supreme court with this crap. I am not going to give up therapies for our child with SN, college funds and our own retirement to help out my self-absorbed, entitled, spendy, emotionally abusive MIL. She'd probably move to PA if she knew she could get a free ride.

[Anonymous]

Actually perhaps we could counter sue...

FIL for barely paying child support and for not giving a cent toward college despite sending his 2nd batch of kids to private school and college

MIL for neglect, emotional abuse and the subsequent emotional scars and for spending child support on herself

Yep, I'd go broke countersuing cuz my inlaws are just the type to pull this crap

[Anonymous]

This is OP here. My parents do live in Pennsylvania. I can't imagine paying their bills. I simply cannot. If this were to happen to me it would be disastrous - and I would be so bitter to have to pay for them. I don't have any documentation of abuse, but it was pretty bad. I simply cannot fathom how a child, who had no choice in being born to such a family, and has absolutely no control or say how a parent spends resources, would ever be legally on the hook for the obligations incurred by the parents in this instance. What a way to ruin any chance I have of digging myself out of the hole I started my life in. I've come a long way, and if my parents drag me back down, it would really be nothing short of financial ruin for me and would be the difference between my being able to give my children a better life or not.

[Anonymous]

How can this possibly be constitutional? We certainly don't require children to pay their parents' debts beyond the value of the parent's estate. Where is the incentive to behave responsibly? Heck, when your kid turns 18, could you just say you are really depressed and can't work and require them to get a job and support you?

Also, isn't it standard practice for the elderly to spend down their assets and then go on Medicare to fund nursing homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can this possibly be constitutional? We certainly don't require children to pay their parents' debts beyond the value of the parent's estate. Where is the incentive to behave responsibly? Heck, when your kid turns 18, could you just say you are really depressed and can't work and require them to get a job and support you?

Also, isn't it standard practice for the elderly to spend down their assets and then go on Medicare to fund nursing homes?

I know that this is what happened with my grandmother, who lives in PA. she has 7 living children, 6 of them in PA, but the state hasn't sued them for support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can this possibly be constitutional? We certainly don't require children to pay their parents' debts beyond the value of the parent's estate. Where is the incentive to behave responsibly? Heck, when your kid turns 18, could you just say you are really depressed and can't work and require them to get a job and support you?

Also, isn't it standard practice for the elderly to spend down their assets and then go on Medicare to fund nursing homes?

I know that this is what happened with my grandmother, who lives in PA. she has 7 living children, 6 of them in PA, but the state hasn't sued them for support.

Except I believe its Medicaid not Medicare that kicks in after the assets are spent down.