I need help setting family life and financial goals

[Anonymous]

For the first time in our 15 year marriage, dh and I talked about our financial and life goals. Up until now we have just been goingthroughthe motions. From an objectvie standpointweare doing extremely well. The problem is that I am very process oriented and dh is the opposite. He would prefer a more traditional life, whereas I want something more incredible. How do we reconcile the two extremes and plan a future for our family when dh doesn't think that even the conversation itself is worth having.

[Anonymous]

Imago.

[Anonymous]

Define "something more incredible" and "a more traditional life."

[Anonymous]

We need more info. What kind of "incredible" do you need? I mean, I haven't been on a vacation in 8 years, so to me, going to like, New Jersey, would be an incredible vacation. But to some people, they think a cruise around Alaska is ho-hum.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Dh loves his job, me and the kids. He is happy. I love my job, dh and the kids. We ave been incredibly financially fortunate and pretty much anything is possible for us. I'd like to live in a big city, like manhattan, maybe change careers. Really anything to feel like I experienced a much as possible inline. I want to look back in old age with no regrets. We are mid 30s now, with 3 small kids.

[Anonymous]

Inline = in life

[Anonymous]

Well, can't you change careers on your own? It's possible to make your own life incredible without completely uprooting your family.

And if you really dream of moving to Manhattan, maybe it would be more appealing to your husband if you had a more specific plan (i.e. a specific job there) rather than just a vague desire to change your life.

[Anonymous]

Why not take small steps, and realistic steps, so write out a budget for if you had a small apartment in NYC, and then present that to DH?

[Anonymous]

What kind of life will you really be living in New York and with what kind of income? I used too and still dream about living in New York but with an income around 400k or so I know it would be a down grade from my DC standard of living. Plus I have a toddler and a full time job so how much would my days and weekends really change? I think New York represents the thinner, more involved with art and more fashionable version of myself that I wish I was. Realistically I I move it won't be a quick fix.

[Anonymous]

Op here. We have been very inanially fortunate. Income over $1M. Net worth just under $10M, all self made. We are mid 30s now so I do feel that just about anything is possible.

[Anonymous]

Then do not waste time with NY! What a dump! Great to be a tourist there but it is a nightmare city.
Give to charity, enjoy nature, take it easy, stop earning money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We have been very inanially fortunate. Income over $1M. Net worth just under $10M, all self made. We are mid 30s now so I do feel that just about anything is possible.

I think it is telling that your husband is happy and content but you feel like you "are just going through the motions". You have the wherewithal to make your dream of a Manhattan lifestyle come true. Like the other pp said, start fleshing out what the possibilities are in housing, schooling and jobs. Then sit down with your husband when you have quiet time without the kids around and go over them. Do not let him put you off. You will not have a happy home life much longer if you do not pursue your dream.

[Anonymous]

How about getting a pied a Terre in manhattan and visiting every month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We have been very inanially fortunate. Income over $1M. Net worth just under $10M, all self made. We are mid 30s now so I do feel that just about anything is possible.

Not in Mannattan!

[Anonymous]

Save as much as you can so you could quit at any time and live off the income generated by your savings. You have the possibility of freedom-- don't squander it on stupid stuff.