I won't say "hate" but dislike very much being pregnant!

[Anonymous]

I feel like I am a terrible Mom-to-be or even woman but I am not enjoying being pregnant AT ALL! I am just out of the first trimester and hoped when the nausea subsided (which it has for the most part), that I'd feel better about things. I am typically a rather positive person but right now all I can think about is the long 6 months ahead and I'm wondering, what the heck have I done?!

I just had to vent. I guess I envisioned being happy when I was pregnant!

[Anonymous]

I feel for you OP. And I will say I hated being pregnant. It sucked!!! So glad it is over and I will never have to do it again!!! Don't worry -- it'll be over soon!!

[Anonymous]

Op, I can understand how it can be miserable. With pg #1, I vomited all 9 months and had severe carpul tunnel. I ended up in the hospital a few times with dehydration and ended up getting a cortisone shot for the carpul tunnel where I had a reaction that made my hands swell up like balloons. Then I was told that I was having a 10lb baby if I went to term - which I did - went to term and had a 10lb baby after 30 hours of labor!

I was so miserable, but I had a friend who had recently lost a baby at 6months pg and it really put things into perspective for me. I'm not trying to downplay your feelings because I know there is always someone having a harder time and that doesn't make it any easier on you or discount your feelings because I felt the same way, but my friends circumstances just made me feel a little better because I knew it could be worse.

Also, when I got a little farther along and could really feel the baby kick and move around my spirits were lifted. I really enjoyed pg then even through the vomiting and pain in my hands. I'm now almost 7 months in pg #2 and having the same issues, but know that it won't last much longer.

Hang in there and I hope it gets better for you.

[Anonymous]

I am with you! Doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom -- just means that, well, pregnancy sucks! I had ridiculous visions of "cherishing every moment" until reality set in. You feel like your body isn't your own, and it's perfectly fine not to enjoy it - and even to hate it.

[Anonymous]

OP - is there anything specific about pregnancy that is particularly bothersome. You said you're almost out of the miserable 1st trimester and most of the nausea has subsided, so what is so apprehensive - the weight gain/bloating feeling, giving up pre-baby life, just plain feeling overwhelmed by impending motherhood?

I found pregnancy to be rather surreal at first. I didn't show until late (relatively speaking) so many times I sorta "forgot" I was pregnant - if that makes sense. I didn't feel excited, just tired, overworked (my workload and boss were moving in full gear at the time), and plain grouchy.

My DH got me a calendar of development. It really put a picture to the little person inside of me. I started to be happy and excited - after all, my little sprout now had its own fingerprints and an eardrum (15 weeks).

That may help for you. Then again, all women embrace pregnancy differently (see posting "I love being pregnant"). There are definitely physical and emotional changes so be prepared.

Congrats.

[Anonymous]

HI there, I think what you're feeling is normal. I went through a bit of that myself. All these people I talked to went on and on about how much they loved pregnancy, how they had "never felt more beautiful, etc." I think they must have had easy pregnancies or were looking back with rose tinted glasses, because my experience was quite the contrary.

Every trimester had it's own ups and downs and complications, so I never felt at ease...from nausea, spotting, cramping in 1st to a quad screen scare in 2nd, to early Braxton Hicks / irritable uterus in third... i never really enjoyed being pregnant and never felt comfortable with it or with my body. I was always waiting for something bad to happen. But...take pleasure in the fact that you ARE pregnant!!! Soooooo many women try and try to conceive and have trouble requiring treatments, IVF, etc. Every time I started to feel sorry for myself I would think about all the women out there who would kill to be in my shoes...that always made me suck it up and realize just how blessed I am. The fact that I could get pregnant and stay pregnant despite all the "complications" was a miracle in itself.

Take care, every woman's experience is different. I am hoping that my next pregnancy will go much easier!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I wasn't one of those women who relished being pregnant. I didn't 'hate' it either but wasn't like 'this is SO wonderful'. I got lots of positive attention, which was a little surreal.

Anyway, if you feel guilty, don't. It's normal. Don't buy into what society says a pregnant women should be feeling.

[Anonymous]

OMG - I hated being pregnant during my first pregnancy. I hated gaining all that weight. I hated how out of control of my body I felt. I had horrible headaches, but never any morning sickness, but I still hated it. I bloated like you wouldn't believe. But hating my pregnancy didn't affect how much I absolutely loved my baby boy.

And - surprisingly - I actually almost enjoyed my second pregnancy. Didn't have any of the same issues, but mostly I think b/c I had different expectations of what pregnancy would be. Perhaps with my first I thought I'd just be one of those cute pregnant women with just the tummy and everything else would be the same. Not so much. For my second, I knew differently so I enjoyed it more.

Now I'm pregnant for the third time (unexpectedly) and while I'm not thrilled about being pregnant again, I know the absolute joy of having another baby, so I am okay with it now.

[Anonymous]

hi OP. That's fine. I had a relatively easy pregnancy - beyond nausea and tiredness for 4 -6 weeks during 1st trimester. As a colleague noted "I sailed through my pregnancy", nevertheless, I hated it. My body didn't feel like mine, I felt exhausted by end of the day, felt big - even though I gained minimal weight, I couldn't do the things that I liked - like roller blading and biking - was worried about falling and hurting the baby, the bi-weekly and weekly visits, the tests, and so on of other silly things that add up to a change in lifestyle. I gave birth and totally love my baby now, so don't worry about that.

[Anonymous]

OP -

Stop judging your fitness as a mom RIGHT NOW. No one enjoys every moment of motherhood, although some enjoy martyrhood. Don't go down that path.

So you hate being pregnant. Big deal. For some of us, it is uncomfortable, or even miserable. Yup. I hated every minute of it. I didn't do it again. It sucked. It held me back in my career WAY more than having a child did. Nothing wonderful about it at all. Alien invasion of my endocrine system. I still can't enjoy certain foods without thinking of what they would taste like coming back up.

And, turns out I'm a great mom.

[Anonymous]

The first trimester is not fun. You're tired, you feel fat already even if you aren't, you're queasy all the time if not downright nauseated, you're paranoid about what you can and can't eat and drink, you're worried about the viability of the pregnancy, you probably aren't yet telling people that you're pregnant, and the baby-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel seems so very far away. I hated that part.

Things got fun around 20 weeks. I had been feeling the baby kick for a little while, I found out the baby's gender, and I started to show. And I felt GREAT. So, you might wind up enjoying your pregnancy later even if you hate it now.

Then the last month was just as miserable as the first trimester... but the middle part is not bad at all.

And even if you hate all of it, you'll love your baby and, I'm sure, be a very good mom.

[Anonymous]

OP, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling and it's NO reflection on you whatsoever! Just hang onto the knowledge that those six months _will_ end at some point, and you'll get your body back. The pregnancy is one thing, and then being a mother is something else. During the pregnancy, don't forget to reward yourself regularly along the way and remind yourself that you're doing a great job - it's not easy being pregnant!!

[Anonymous]

My pregnancy wasn't that bad until the end. But I didn't have what I thought was what every new mom should experience- an instant bond w/ my baby. I had complications and ended up w/ a c-section. It probably took a good 2 months before I felt connected to my son. What I am saying is that you also shouldn't expect to feel a certain way after your baby is born, just like you shouldn't have to feel a certain way about being pregnant.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all very much. It is so nice to know that I am relatively normal in this regard! I also realized that I was buying into a popular culture notion of what I "should" feel like and that isn't normally like me... I really appreciate the insight and advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for your post. I feel the exact same way. I feel bad because my sister in law is having trouble getting pregnant and I'm having a hard time "loving" being pregnant. I'm hoping that once I have my 20 week ultrasound and find out the sex of the baby, I'll be more into it.