Supervised exchange

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I am posting in the right forum. Anyway, maybe someone could help out. My ex and I share custody of our son. The breakup is painful. When we see each other I literally lose it - either cry or question him about his sex life, then get even more upset. Don't judge please. I am hurting a lot and don't need any preaching right now. So I have realized that it is just bad for me to see him, that I need to stay away. I heard about supervised exchange services but can't find any in DC area. He lives in Arlington. Those services would work great for us right now. I know overtime we will stop doing it once we move on with our lives. I have found one place but it is in fairfax. Too far for both of us. If anyone knows a place like that in DC or Arlington area, please drop a note. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Try posting in "Parenting--Special Concerns."

[Anonymous]

Do you have a friend or family member (or does he) that you both trust that could help out until you've had a chance to heal a little bit? It might be easier than going through a more formal process if the problem is more emotional than any safety concern.

[Anonymous]

The only ones I know of are exclusively for domestiv violence issues. Counseling for your issues might be a more productive way to spend your money.

[Anonymous]

Can you arrange for a class/activity to happen at the exchange time? you drop child off at swim lessons, he picks him up. If you are worried he will flake on pick up, stay nearby with cell phone in case.

[Anonymous]

We don't have the bad relationship that you guys sound like you have, but we almost never see each other in person. Usually the way it works is that one of us drops DD off where she's supposed to be (school, ballet, whatever) and the other picks her up.

How long have you been separated? How often to you switch custody?

[Anonymous]

Meet in a very public place where you aren't likely to make a scene in front of others, like a busy coffee shop. If a family member can help out, even better. For your son's sake he needs to see you can handle drop-off or pick-up so if you go with a third party it should be temporary while you get support for yourself in managing the trauma.

[Anonymous]

Since it isnt a domestic violence issue I would set up hand offs at school / daycare / enrichment class. You drop your child off at school in the morning and your ex picks ups in the afternoon. This also works for swim lessons / dance class / karate your ex drops off at the lesson and you pick up.

[Anonymous]

OP, try calling your dept of child services in both DC and Arlington. They set up/manage these kinds of services for kids that end up being supervised through the system but very likely would know how to put you in touch w/ programs that would offer this privately.

Good for you for working on positive solutions while you get a handle on things. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

We have week to week custody agreement. I am with him full time till he starts preschool next year. The way it works - when it is his week, I watch him during the day, he drops him off at 7.30 and picks him up at 3.30-4. So it is pretty harsh to see each other every day on his weeks and I need time to heal up but because I see him so frequently it is hard. No friends, no family. That's the problem. Now since he is dating already I am totally stressed out and when I see him I get very upset. Anyway, thanks for your advices. Maybe we will need to hire a nanny. No idea on what to do next

[Anonymous]

I mean this in the kindest way possible - whether or not it will assist you with your drop off problem, you need to find a support network.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean this in the kindest way possible - whether or not it will assist you with your drop off problem, you need to find a support network.

Working on it...