How did you get Weissbluth to work for you?

[Anonymous]

I have heard much praise on DCUM for Weissbluth. I've read his book and the ideas in it sound great. I've tried to follow it as best I can. I put my 4 month DD down for a nap around 90 minutes after she wakes up.

My big problem here is that for most naps she doesn't sleep for longer than 30 minutes. Weissbluth says that naps less then 45 minutes don't count. I feel like the length of her naps are out of my control. I can't MAKE her sleep. I can control how active her play time is. I can control the winding down time and I can (to a certain degree) control when she goes to sleep.

Right now she is taking 4 naps a day. She usually ends up taking 2 morning naps, both around 30 minutes, a 2-3 hour afternoon nap in the swaddle, and then a short late afternoon catnap. If we can't get her to sleep for the second morning nap, then she's a mess until the long afternoon nap. We use the miracle blanket and she's about to explode out of it for the one long nap a day. She really will not take a long nap unless she is swaddled. I'm nervous that when we stop using it, she'll just go back to all short naps throughout the day.

Have any other moms had this short nap problem and been able to use Weissbluth to encourage longer naps?

[Anonymous]

Maybe don't wait 90 minutes before starting to soothe her back down? If she's ready sooner, she may be overtired by 90 minutes and less able to fall into a deep sleep. Not knowing a thing about babies when I had one, I remember being shocked at how soon after waking in the morning my son was ready to go back to sleep. Weissbluth's guidance worked like a charm for us.

One thing I did, too, was to write down the time he woke, ate, went to sleep. I was able to identify patterns that made it much easier. i.e. I figured out that I could put him down for his second nap between noon and 1 for a good nap, but if I put him down after 1, the nap was a no-go or very short/not restful. Then I could plan to always be home in time from whatever activity/errands to be sure to meet this window-- I knew not to try to squeeze in one more errand or whatever. Of course, after a few months, his routine would change, but by recording I could start to figure his new sleep needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe don't wait 90 minutes before starting to soothe her back down? If she's ready sooner, she may be overtired by 90 minutes and less able to fall into a deep sleep. Not knowing a thing about babies when I had one, I remember being shocked at how soon after waking in the morning my son was ready to go back to sleep. Weissbluth's guidance worked like a charm for us.

One thing I did, too, was to write down the time he woke, ate, went to sleep. I was able to identify patterns that made it much easier. i.e. I figured out that I could put him down for his second nap between noon and 1 for a good nap, but if I put him down after 1, the nap was a no-go or very short/not restful. Then I could plan to always be home in time from whatever activity/errands to be sure to meet this window-- I knew not to try to squeeze in one more errand or whatever. Of course, after a few months, his routine would change, but by recording I could start to figure his new sleep needs.

OP here. Thanks for the advice. I guess I should mention that he is asleep after 90 minutes. We usually have about 1 hour of active play time (tummy time, toys, silly faces, singing, walks). After an hour we start to wind down and by 90-120 minutes he's back asleep....and then up 30 minutes later, except for the one long nap.

I've tried having winding down sooner, but he recognizes our nap routine now and will fight it if he's not getting tired. I've tried stretching the awake time longer, but that's no good either. I feel like I have the timing of naps right, but he just won't stay asleep.

The problem to me is just that morning nap that he won't stay asleep for and then he's either asleep 45 minutes later or overtired by the time the long nap comes around.

[Anonymous]

OP: I don't know how Weissbluth thinks you can make your kids sleep longer than 30 minutes. Mine did not sleep longer than an hour, maybe an hour and a half max until she was 8 months old. 30 minutes seem pretty common. I think you either have one of those kids that sleeps longer on their own, or they just don't. Wait it out and it will all change!

[Anonymous]

I don't think Weissbluth would say that you can make a baby do anything; all you can do is create circumstances that are conducive to good rest and sleep routines. OP, it sounds like you're doing that by following the two-hour rule, and it also sounds like he's getting good sleep in that afternoon nap. I found Weissbluth very useful for understanding what kind of sleep my children need and how to help them get it, but I also took the approach that I had to adapt his advice to my children's individual personalities. Keep in mind, also, that 4 mos can be a tough time for naps; babies really start to get engaged in the world at that age, meaning they are less eager/willing to sleep and a bit less predictable. With both of my kids, I found things settled down a bit at 5 mos. I'm guessing that in another month he'll lengthen out the first nap (even just a little, to 45 minutes or so), then take a longer one mid-day and another shorter one in the late afternoon. It's tough now, but it will get better.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have written your post! We are following Weissbluth and the 90-minute window really works for our 3 1/2 month old. That being said, for ALL of my baby's naps we are lucky if we get to an hour during the day after 10 weeks of age. I don't even get the 2-3 hour one that you get in the afternoon.

I think Weissbluth says that the night sleep will form first and then the naps are last. I think he also said some babies just aren't good nappers, unfortunately. My baby just started to hit 6 hours at night at a time, so I think that we are doing some backsliding in naps during the day because of the changes at night.

Does your baby get sleepy again after a 30 minute nap? Since yesterday, my baby has been trying to do 30 minutes down and then 30 minutes up, cycling in the afternoon. I think this is because of her change in night sleep and she's thrown off, but it is very hard to get anything done in the afternoon this way!

What I've tried with some success is to rush in and soothe her back to sleep immediately if she wakes up after 30 minutes, to at least get some more time. Or, if she wakes and is making little noises but NOT crying, then to leave her alone in her crib for the full hour anyway. I'm NOT CIO, because she isn't crying, just having some quiet alone time to finish out the length of the nap (and hopefully falling back to sleep or resting). If all else fails and I think she is getting upset not getting more sleep, then I put her in a swing or let her sleep on me/lay down with her to let her rest longer.

I definitely see a change in her sleep patterns and think the napping in the afternoon is taking the brunt of it. She goes to bed at 8 pm, wakes at around 2 and 5 am, then is up at 7:30-8 am. She is taking that 9-10 am nap everyday and will go down again for an hour at about 1 pm, but all afternoon to early evening is erratic---just trying to follow the 90 minute window as best we can. I think once she gets to be 5 months, I can base naps on the actual times of day based on his schedule in the book and tailored to her individual needs--but that is 6 weeks from now!

I'd love to hear other responses, also.

[Anonymous]

We love Weissbluth, and have had success with both children so far. Some babies are just short nappers, and that may change over time.

Things you can try to get baby to sleep longer (if you're not doing it already): room darkening shades (or an old bedsheet), pacifier (we go in and "re-bink" sometimes, which can lengthen a nap by an hour or more!), white noise (fans are great, and recently discovered to reduce SIDS). Also, don't sell your baby short--sometimes I go in to my DD (5 mos) and tell her in a stern voice that it's naptime, not playtime, and she goes back to sleep (with the pacifier, of course).

Good luck and keep up the good work. You're already ahead of most parents who think their babies should adapt to their busy schedules! Your child will sleep better for it!

[Anonymous]

I could have written this post, too! I could use suggestions for handling the late afternoon and the early morning:

1) Afternoon: DS will wake from a nap around 3:30 or 4. With the 90 minute rule that will mean he needs to nap at 5 or 5:30, and he does show tired signs then. But he would go down for the night then if we let him be. Usually, he goes to bed at around 7. He already wakes up at 5 a.m. and I'm afraid of having him wake much earlier! I know that Weissbluth says putting them to bed earlier can help, but how much earlier? 5 p.m. seems excessive, and my husband, who gets home at 6 most days, would like to see him a little bit each day.

Also, when they wake between 5-6, then the morning nap is around 6:30-7, right? How do I then get the 9 a.m nap to develop? He is nearly 4 mos old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this post, too! I could use suggestions for handling the late afternoon and the early morning:

1) Afternoon: DS will wake from a nap around 3:30 or 4. With the 90 minute rule that will mean he needs to nap at 5 or 5:30, and he does show tired signs then. But he would go down for the night then if we let him be. Usually, he goes to bed at around 7. He already wakes up at 5 a.m. and I'm afraid of having him wake much earlier! I know that Weissbluth says putting them to bed earlier can help, but how much earlier? 5 p.m. seems excessive, and my husband, who gets home at 6 most days, would like to see him a little bit each day.

Also, when they wake between 5-6, then the morning nap is around 6:30-7, right? How do I then get the 9 a.m nap to develop? He is nearly 4 mos old.

When my DS needs the late late afternoon nap, I just let him nap on the couch while I sit next to him. He's less likely to think it's time to sleep all night, but doesn't freak out from being overtired. Usually he'll go to sleep around 6:00 and sleep until 6:30-6:45. We then go up for bath at 7:30 and he's in his crib asleep by 8:00. He wakes once at night and is up again around 7:00am. He used to go to bed at 7-7:30, but would wake up at 6am. I started giving him the late late nap in order to push his bed time a bit and get him to sleep until 7am and not 6am....I know you're not supposed to morph your babies schedule to yours, but I am NOT a morning person and will be overtired and miserable all day if I have to wake up and entertain him that early.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to repeat what an earlier poster mentioned: Weissbluth implies that at 4 months or so they are already capable of longer naps. You start them on the path now, but it's not going to happen until the child is developmentally ready. Mine didn't reliably take decent naps until 8-9 months. I found this really frustrating because Weissbluth had me thinking I must be doing something wrong. In hindsight I get it, but it was hard at the time.

One other note: Weissbluth gives the impression that there will be linear progress in sleep. It's not so. There will be periods when night sleep will break down. There will be several days at a time when napping goes well and then it goes to hell again for two weeks. It's a gradual progress toward the two naps a day he describes, but it's not linear progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this post, too! I could use suggestions for handling the late afternoon and the early morning:

1) Afternoon: DS will wake from a nap around 3:30 or 4. With the 90 minute rule that will mean he needs to nap at 5 or 5:30, and he does show tired signs then. But he would go down for the night then if we let him be. Usually, he goes to bed at around 7. He already wakes up at 5 a.m. and I'm afraid of having him wake much earlier! I know that Weissbluth says putting them to bed earlier can help, but how much earlier? 5 p.m. seems excessive, and my husband, who gets home at 6 most days, would like to see him a little bit each day.

Also, when they wake between 5-6, then the morning nap is around 6:30-7, right? How do I then get the 9 a.m nap to develop? He is nearly 4 mos old.

Hi, I'm 15:47 pp. I agree with the "lighter" nap in the evening. My baby also gets tired by 5 usually and we give her another light nap but not in the crib. Swing, sometimes on my lap or in our bed, etc. I think as they mature they will have longer chunks of awake time and go past the 90 minute window.

Does the baby really have to get up at 5 or 6? Is there a way to feed him then put him down for at least another hour or so? My baby started to go to bed earlier (7:30 or 8 pm, rather than 8:30) and is waking at 7 am. But I notice if I bf and put her down, she'll wake up at 8 instead, which earns us another hour. Then she'll definitely do the 9-10 nap. If she gets up at 7:30, she'll still do that 9-10 first nap, so that's interesting to me that she seems to go by the clock.

I'd try to keep him down for longer in the a.m. if at all possible. Weissbluth says that sometimes them going to bed earlier at night will make them sleep longer, so maybe if he goes to bed at 6 or 6:30 he could sleep later? (seems iffy to me, personally, but worth a try one day).

Good luck!