Family seeking info about sib , won't call directly

[Anonymous]

I am from a pretty big family. One sibling with serious health issues was recently hospitalized for something very serious. Sick sibling has had a very tough time for the last several years and I am the only one regularly in contact. Sick sibling cut off contact with two siblings, one for past issues, one for current issues. Other siblings have not stayed in touch with her, (they just don't really give a crap about her) but no real issue. Because I have been in contact they keep coming to me for details on what is going on with her. I told the most annoying one to contact sib herself. She is out of hospital and home. If they want an update or to inquire how she is, Call Her.

First of all, does this seem normal to anyone?


I am trying not to get too annoyed with my siblings but I do not want to be the go between.

[Anonymous]

not only you should not be the go between, but you should not give detail about somebody else's health condition to others without that person's consent. You did the right thing, if they want to know, they can call themselves, and the sick sibling will or will not tell, depending on what she wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like there is a lot of drama in your family and you are seeking to add to this. Sure, tell them how she is.

[Anonymous]

You are in a thankless position. I'd stop being the go-between but it sounds from your post like your sick sibling is the one who cut off contact with the others. If I'd been rejected by my sibling, I'd also be very hesitant to initiate contact again with that sibling. Still, not your place to be in the middle. Everyone will resent you for it. Take it from someone who's BTDT.

[Anonymous]

1. Tell sick sibling that you are tired of being the go-to person. Suggest she at least keep up a minimum of contact with everyone.
2. Tell everyone else you are tired of being the go-to person!
Do not update. Keep info to a bare minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not only you should not be the go between, but you should not give detail about somebody else's health condition to others without that person's consent. You did the right thing, if they want to know, they can call themselves, and the sick sibling will or will not tell, depending on what she wants to do.

This is really at the heart of my problem. If my sibling is not speaking to people I have no business sharing her medical info. Actually, now I am feeling badly that I shared anything at all. It was a tough call. Sibling could have died. But I would never do it again. Not sure if I think it is drama, it is just weird lack of compassion on the part of my siblings.

Ah well. Over for now I guess.

[Anonymous]

Ask sick sibling what she wants you to do. Give out basic information or direct all sibs to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not only you should not be the go between, but you should not give detail about somebody else's health condition to others without that person's consent. You did the right thing, if they want to know, they can call themselves, and the sick sibling will or will not tell, depending on what she wants to do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Look, this isn't governed by HIPPA regulations. The questions for me are, does sharing information promote togetherness or not? Are they asking out of good will, or nosiness? Could this be a chance to heal the breach?

I recently was hospitalized for a serious illness, and after several months of chilliness with my brother, he called me daily when I was in the hospital. If my DH had not given him details of how serious the illness was, this would not have occurred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, this isn't governed by HIPPA regulations. The questions for me are, does sharing information promote togetherness or not? Are they asking out of good will, or nosiness? Could this be a chance to heal the breach?

I recently was hospitalized for a serious illness, and after several months of chilliness with my brother, he called me daily when I was in the hospital. If my DH had not given him details of how serious the illness was, this would not have occurred.

Good for you. I am OP and I do not know if I thought this would happen with my siblings, but it became obvious that this was really more about nosiness than concern. My sibling has seemed to heal the breach with one sibling. So I guess I will look at it as a positive in that regard.