Paying for grad school after DS has received a scholarship for undergrad...

[Anonymous]

DS received merit scholarship for undergrad. DH said we should not pay for his grad school. I think we should split grad school expenses with him. How would you handle it?

[Anonymous]

My son is on a full ride for undergrad and my DH and I have had the same discussion. Turns out it's most likely that my son will have his graduate program paid for by his school & I've learned this is typical.

[Anonymous]

I don't think lightening will strike twice in DS's case.

[Anonymous]

What's the graduate degree?

[Anonymous]

Well I would figure this out if/when he decides to go to graduate school. People's career opportunities and interest often evolve as they continue on in their education. Some people find jobs straight out of undergrad without grad school. If you want to get a PhD, particularly in any STEM field, it's pretty typical for tuition to be paid for by the school (and get a stipend for living expenses through TAships/RAships/fellowships). Many masters degrees are the same way, especially if they giving you a teaching assistantship. Law, medicine, and MBA will pretty much require tuition in most cases, but is he dead set on this?

[Anonymous]

Whose good fortune is the scholarship? Your son's or yours? If the former, then help pay for grad school. If the latter, then don't help pay for grad school and say "thanks for saving us money, son."

What is your financial situation, OP?

[Anonymous]

I if had the money, I would definitely pay for as much as I could.

[Anonymous]

I would pay too if I had the money OP. Didn't you put aside any funds for your child? Do you believe in Santa?

[Anonymous]

DH wants to use son's college fund for retirement. We paid for undergrad for DD but it seems likely she will have significant assistance from her college for grad school. DH is operating from the position that money for grad school was not promised to either child.

[Anonymous]

Well whatever is left over in the 529, I would definitely make available to DS for his graduate degree. Whether I chip in beyond that would depend on DH & my financial situation and the needs of his siblings.

For grad school, I paid for my rent, groceries, social spending, and clothes and I did it by temping 60+ hrs/wk while living at home before grad school started and then working while in the program. I think it's totally reasonable to carry a significant amount of your weight for the cost of grad school - and working will probably help get you a job post-graduation.

[Anonymous]

If we had money saved, I may use it to pay tuition. I think by grad school, the adult child should be pulling more of his/her own weight financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH wants to use son's college fund for retirement. We paid for undergrad for DD but it seems likely she will have significant assistance from her college for grad school. DH is operating from the position that money for grad school was not promised to either child.

But where did you keep that money? If you kept it in a 529, then it's not fungible for retirement. You can either spend it on this kid or her sibling's education. You can't just roll it over for retirement or other purposes. Maybe you can pay a fee to get your money out? Otherwise you're committing fraud. Also, didn't grandparents and relatives put money into that? You can't steal their gifts for your child's education and reassign it to your retirement account.

[Anonymous]

It is common, at least for science departments, to pay the grad students a stipend for 20hrs/week of TA - teaching assistant. Most of my fellow TAs in grad school lived on that during their studies. I taught lab microbiology to undergrads, and it was good fun.

If you can supplement that a tiny bit, it would make your grad student's life a little easier. Then he or she wouldn't have to live in a cockroach infested shared apartment and eat Ramen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH wants to use son's college fund for retirement. We paid for undergrad for DD but it seems likely she will have significant assistance from her college for grad school. DH is operating from the position that money for grad school was not promised to either child.

But where did you keep that money? If you kept it in a 529, then it's not fungible for retirement. You can either spend it on this kid or her sibling's education. You can't just roll it over for retirement or other purposes. Maybe you can pay a fee to get your money out? Otherwise you're committing fraud. Also, didn't grandparents and relatives put money into that? You can't steal their gifts for your child's education and reassign it to your retirement account.

Why would you assume that grandparents and relatives put money into a child's 549? IME, that is definitely NOT the norm. Parents yes, anyone else? no.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely pay for it, especially because he worked hard and earned a merit scholarship for college.