Babycenter DWIL board

[Anonymous]

The baby center DWIL board is just nuts! Both because of the crazy scenarios and the super aggressive community. I get the whole deal with MIL problems (have had them myself) but it is easy to see that many of the DWIL posters/commenters are just trying to be the biggest bitch in the room. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

So why did you post here?

[Anonymous]

Because where else to vent about other message boards? I can't really post this in DWIL. Plus the average iq of DWIL is pretty low so it is not as fun to snark there.

[Anonymous]

I used to post on DWIL! There were some crazy stories on there. It got to the point, however, where the advice for every situation was "cut them off." Just way too excessive for me. Have things changed at all?

[Anonymous]

OH gawd I agree. I posted on there a few times, but they really get aggressive and psycho. Their solutions are so black and white. If you show any empathy for the in-laws who drive you nuts they tell you your a pushover/grow some balls/lay down the law with your DH/tell MIL to fuck herself. I'm all for boundaries, but I'm also into trying to see everyone as a complex human, not a 1 dimension bitch on wheels.

[Anonymous]

Forgot to mention I got kicked off the private board. I asked why and was basically told that I'm a wus who needs to STFU and just cut off from the inlaws. I am not against cut off, but I see it as a last resort and I was done trying options.

[Anonymous]

I have posted there and found it helpful. I have a hopeless in law situation and the site helped me see it. If you bullsh*t they will see through it. There are also many posts that are the same problem that have been seen there again and again. The people who are on that site don't tend to have sweet but misunderstood family members.

A lot of women have a problem speaking up. I think we have slid back into the 1950's expecting women to be nice and not hurt feelings.

The plain truth is that being a healthy adult and good parent means that you are at times going to make other people unhappy by saying no to them. Many of the women who post there are there because they are people pleasers and can't stand up for themselves.

When you combine a people pleaser with a family who may have aggressive, controlling members, the people pleaser is going to feel like a victim.

I think there is a lot to be learned at that site. If you read it enough, you will be better able to get to the root of the problem you are dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have posted there and found it helpful. I have a hopeless in law situation and the site helped me see it. If you bullsh*t they will see through it. There are also many posts that are the same problem that have been seen there again and again. The people who are on that site don't tend to have sweet but misunderstood family members.

A lot of women have a problem speaking up. I think we have slid back into the 1950's expecting women to be nice and not hurt feelings.

The plain truth is that being a healthy adult and good parent means that you are at times going to make other people unhappy by saying no to them. Many of the women who post there are there because they are people pleasers and can't stand up for themselves.

When you combine a people pleaser with a family who may have aggressive, controlling members, the people pleaser is going to feel like a victim.

I think there is a lot to be learned at that site. If you read it enough, you will be better able to get to the root of the problem you are dealing with.

It can be helpful for truly helpless situations. But there is also a lot of "you go girl" when the poster clearly has issues of her own.

[Anonymous]

What the heck does DWIL stand for?

[Anonymous]

Dear Wife In-Law?

[Anonymous]

Dealing with the In-Laws.

[Anonymous]

0120+
Wow just checked it out of curiosity...damn that is one depressing board! DCUM posters suddenly seem much more normal and not so aggressive ROFL

[Anonymous]

There is actually a lot of good advice on that board if you can get one of the older and mature posters to respond.

The board gets flooded with young twenty somethings who are married and struggling and really don't have enough life and practical marriage experience to offer advice.

[Anonymous]

If your in laws or family are really out of line, it is a good place to go to. Bat shit crazy people have children who grow up and get married. Those bat shit crazy people then wreak havoc on their son's and daughter's families. These people don't need silly unicorns to talk them into useless reconciliation or posts urging them to be the better person. Also pp, I post there and I'm over 40. My ils are still crazy. I got a lot of help in cutting them off.

[Anonymous]

There is some good advice on DWIL for obvious boundary stomping in-laws, but, as noted here, it seems that some there have been tainted by their own experiences (the anger is quite clear to me). There are some very black and white opinions on dealing with in-laws...time out, cut off, move out of state. It can be just too extreme to use that approach in more subtle cases of boundary stomping and can be destructive to both the in-law relationship as well as to the spouses relationship if you take the advice to these extremes. But the posters there have very strong opinions and are never wrong (at least, not in their own minds).