Teachers: what did you learn after having kids that influenced your ways in the classroom?

[Anonymous]

My DS's teacher is very qualified and has lots of creative ideas. I like her a lot. Still, I don't think she has kids and I can sometimes see that in the way she is in the classroom about different things and in some of the things she has said to me. How did your teaching change after you had kids? I'm especially interested in hearing from elementary teachers.

[Anonymous]

I was a 5th grade teacher for 15 years, and have been an administrator for the past 8 years. I had my first child when I was about 10 years into teaching. What I noticed about myself nd now in my role as an administrator is that teachers mature. I was sometimes strident in my 20's and got frustrated sometimes with parents. I couldn't understand why they couldn't support their kids more. I viewed things more in black and white. But with years and maturity, I realized that everyone is trying their best.

As an administrator who now has school-age children, I am able to help younger teachers problem solve and handle conferences better. I can offer a personal view and help them be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

I will say that the two teachers that "got" my hard to get boys the fastest each had three boys. So, they were experienced with boys AND they knew they come in many different versions and had very few preconceived notions. They also gave me some really excellent real world advice about some things outside of the school purview (as part of natural conversations). Actually the one that had the hardest time was not childless, but had girls. Very anecdotal, I know.

[Anonymous]

I don't think being a parent necessarily makes one a better teacher.

Likewise, I don't think being a teacher necessarily makes one a better parent.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I've met a lot of parents who seemed to go into teaching just to one day be a better teacher to their own children. The quit after about 3-5 years of teaching and never come back and then run blogs or post things about how their such a good teacher to their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS's teacher is very qualified and has lots of creative ideas. I like her a lot. Still, I don't think she has kids and I can sometimes see that in the way she is in the classroom about different things and in some of the things she has said to me. How did your teaching change after you had kids? I'm especially interested in hearing from elementary teachers.

I'm a teacher. After I had kids I had less time and energy to devote to working on projects after school, which is when all of the grading and planning occurs. I'm more interested in my own kids than other people's kids now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a 5th grade teacher for 15 years, and have been an administrator for the past 8 years. I had my first child when I was about 10 years into teaching. What I noticed about myself nd now in my role as an administrator is that teachers mature. I was sometimes strident in my 20's and got frustrated sometimes with parents. I couldn't understand why they couldn't support their kids more. I viewed things more in black and white. But with years and maturity, I realized that everyone is trying their best.

As an administrator who now has school-age children, I am able to help younger teachers problem solve and handle conferences better. I can offer a personal view and help them be more understanding.

Amen! I was a teacher for 8 years, then stayed home with my kids, and am now teaching again. One thing that changed was my attitude towards parents helping their kids at home. When I was childless, I had NO IDEA how much work it is to take care of a family. I had this ida that parents came home from work and had lots of time to read to their kids, help them master their multiplication facts, work with them on projects. When parents told me that they were taking their children on a week vacation and asked for work, I naively thought they were asking because they actually needed ideas of things to do with their kids, while they were on vacation! I put together packets of great stuff for them. Now I understand they just wanted to know exactly what skills their child would be missing and to see what the minimum amount they could do was.

I also have so much more understanding now of parents' emotional concerns. They mostly just want their kids coming home happy each day! If their kids are happy, they will be happy.

[Anonymous]

My dd's teachers are quite young and I'd be surprised if they had children. But I have become a better parent by emulating them, especially their discipline techniques.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being a parent necessarily makes one a better teacher.

Likewise, I don't think being a teacher necessarily makes one a better parent.

So true

educator here for over 20 years . . .

Some of my daughter's best teachers were single/childless. had more empathy than the "experienced" ones with children AND grandchildren

I fail to see how having kids makes you a better teacher. If you love kids and your content (or level) - AND if you're willing to always stretch - you'll make a fine educator w/ or w/o kids.

ridiculous question, IMO

Are pediatricians with kids any better than pediatricians w/o kids?

What about the person who works at the Humane Society but who doesn't have a pet?

see?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I've met a lot of parents who seemed to go into teaching just to one day be a better teacher to their own children. The quit after about 3-5 years of teaching and never come back and then run blogs or post things about how their such a good teacher to their children.

Please . . .

These women quit b/c they can't handle it - or they're not smart enough to find a position in education outside of the classroom.

Teaching is hard - one of THE HARDEST professions I've ever had. I taught for 15 years and spend the last five in school improvement and training. While my job is not easy, it's simply not as draining as teaching was. no time to use the bathroom, always on your feet (if you're an active teacher, that is, with creative lessons), no coffee breaks, no running to do an errand, no meeting friends for lunch . . . You're always on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being a parent necessarily makes one a better teacher.

Likewise, I don't think being a teacher necessarily makes one a better parent.

So true

educator here for over 20 years . . .

Some of my daughter's best teachers were single/childless. had more empathy than the "experienced" ones with children AND grandchildren

I fail to see how having kids makes you a better teacher. If you love kids and your content (or level) - AND if you're willing to always stretch - you'll make a fine educator w/ or w/o kids.

ridiculous question, IMO

Are pediatricians with kids any better than pediatricians w/o kids?

What about the person who works at the Humane Society but who doesn't have a pet?

see?

See now, I'd say pediatricians with kids are better, all other things being equal of course. There's nothing like actual life experience to enhance training and education. Just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

In my 20's I sometimes felt the kids were mine. Once an older mom told me to get my own kids and not get too attached to them. Another mother said that her daughter knew I liked "Laura" was my pet student.

Now that I have my own, I am more patient with them, and make sure not to show I have favorites.

[Anonymous]

That's an issue.

I'm glad someone woke you up.

In all of my years in this field, I've seen people enter the profession for the wrong reasons - the need to "parent," to be friends, to control . . . you name it.

It's a profession. So while teachers need to be sympathetic and at times empathetic, the first rule is to develop boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:In my 20's I sometimes felt the kids were mine. Once an older mom told me to get my own kids and not get too attached to them. Another mother said that her daughter knew I liked "Laura" was my pet student.

Now that I have my own, I am more patient with them, and make sure not to show I have favorites.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher, and a parent. I think that in some ways I've gotten worse from having kids. I have a little less energy, I'm out more, I put less thought into the details of the bulletin boards and the anchor thoughts.

I also think that in some ways I've gotten better from having kids. I assign less "mommy homework", and I think I communicate better with parents.

One thing I have come to understand deeply as a parent that I never got when I was just a teacher, was the way that a family's culture and parenting is something cut from a whole cloth. I used to think that because I did something in the classroom with a child, and it worked a certain way, parents could just pick up that one piece and do the same thing. I now know that parenting techniques, and classroom management techniques work best if they're consistent with your family or classroom culture as a whole, and I'm both less judgemental about other people's choices, and less likely to think that I know the solutions to other people's parenting challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a 5th grade teacher for 15 years, and have been an administrator for the past 8 years. I had my first child when I was about 10 years into teaching. What I noticed about myself nd now in my role as an administrator is that teachers mature. I was sometimes strident in my 20's and got frustrated sometimes with parents. I couldn't understand why they couldn't support their kids more. I viewed things more in black and white. But with years and maturity, I realized that everyone is trying their best.

As an administrator who now has school-age children, I am able to help younger teachers problem solve and handle conferences better. I can offer a personal view and help them be more understanding.

I agree with this poster, especially the bolded. I don't think it has changed my teaching, but I do understand the perspective of the parents more.