How do you manage to visit your family if your family lives oversea?

[Anonymous]

Me and Husband family both live oversea (same country but different cities).
And, it takes about 24hr door-to-door and costs anywhere from $1300 ~$2000/head.

I haven't been home for the past 3 years due to my pregnancy (prevented flying),
giving birth (we decided not to fly cuz infant being such young age),
not enough vacation time (probably OK to take 10days off, making it to 2 weeks total vacation,
but everytime we plan trip home, job prevents me to take longer vacation).

Only my mom (dad still working full-time, can't visit us so can't meet grand kid unless we travel home) and
husband parents (retired, so they have time) were able to meet the grand kid.

As the baby grows, how do you guys manage to visit your oversea family when each trip will costs us at least $5000 minimum?
And, how often do you visit your family?
I don't mind my husband taking a kid to his parents home alone (I won't take my time off if visiting his home exclusively, I will save that time to visit my family).

Just wanted to get some idea for the near future.

[Anonymous]

It's difficult!

We have close relatives in France and Japan. Previously, we were able to visit our relatives once a year in Paris and once every 2-3 years in Tokyo. My parents flew to visit us once a year. Visits are 10 to 15 days, as they are the maximum DH can take off and the maximum I can stand my own beloved but crazy mother

However now with 2 children and reduced means, we cannot visit as frequently, which pains me because I do so want my youngest to meet her great-grandmother before she passes away. We are saving money aggressively towards that particular visit, but it may still not happen in time.

Do your best, OP. With scattered international families, sacrifices have to be made.

[Anonymous]

One year we travel to our family, and the next they travel to us. We alternate years.

[Anonymous]

I think you just make it work as best as you can, and do what you can to fill in the gaps in other ways.

Growing up, my grandparents and other extended families were all overseas. We visited both families when I was an infant, when I was 5, and when I was 13. My mom's parents visited when I was 2, 8, and 19. My mom went home once or twice by herself. My dad's mom (his father died young) visited about every 5 years until she became to frail to travel (when I was in college). We were lucky in that my mom didn't work, so when we went we could go for 2 months at a time (and my Dad just joined for 2-3 weeks).

It's hard, but they wrote lots of letters, and phoned when they could (long distance was v. expensive back then). As long distance prices came down, that helped a lot to help us stay in touch.

Nowadays, I highly recommend setting them up with internet and using skype or facetime (if you have iphones) to video chat. One of my friends does this with her parents in Europe--they just leave their web cams on in the living room all weekend and at any time they can check-in and see what people are up to.

[Anonymous]

I also wouldn't let you not having a "perfect" vacation keep you from going at all. If your trip needs to be a little shorter due to work, I'd still make the trip.
Good luck, this is tough. I agree with skypeing as much as possible

[Anonymous]

DH's whole family lives a 24-hr flight away. We tend to visit every year (it's our only vacation, sadly!) for a couple of weeks. Definitely not budget-friendly.

Now that my daughter is older, I think I'm going to institute an every-other-year policy. If they want to visit on the off years, they can come to us -- I'm pretty bitter that they never have (in a decade of marriage!). They are well off, so it's more that they just expect we'll come to them.

We do Skype about once a week.

[Anonymous]

It's hard. And expensive.

DH's family is overseas (8-9 hr flight). My family is east coast but still not close (9hr drive). DH family is slightly better off financially than my family, but not much better off. (My family does not have $ for domestic flight.)

We go overseas to see DH family every other year. We take 2+ weeks to do this. We see my family (grandparents) 2-3 X per year - not more. One trip to see them, one trip they come to us (usually Thanksgiving).

My tips:
- see if family can come visit you during off-season airfare-wise - good times for us have tended to be mid-late fall; around Xmas holidays especially if you are willing to travel very close to or on the holidays; winter-mid-spring. It may be cheaper/easier/more doable to pay for family to come visit you than it is for your whole family to go visit them.
- use kayak.com and put on airfare alerts for your routes - if you continually monitor you will get a good sense of when a truly good deal is being offered

[Anonymous]

The key to success is lots of frequent flyer miles.

[Anonymous]

My parents live overseas and thankfully have no problem paying for us to come visit. I SAH and was able to go visit for a month this summer with the kids. DH came for a 10 days out of that time.

[Anonymous]

We are in same boat. When we visit, we stay with family, and a family member lends us a car, arranges to borrow car seats from their friends and other child equipment, we usually eat with relatives, so we are saving huge amounts on not needing a hotel, car rental, or eating out. I am always shocked when we go on other vacations how much those costs total.

The airfare is a killer, an absolute killer. If we can use miles, we do. We have a credit card that adds miles for the particular airline we prefer, but it is more difficult these days to use miles. My husbands job sometimes takes him to our home country, so we always try to tie in a trip, and have been successful doing that often (I SAH so that helps with not needing vacation time), so my husbands ticket is paid for, and sometimes he takes one of our kids along just the two of them vs the entire family and that kid will hang with the grandparents during the trip getting spoiled and having fun.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Miles: Oh, YES!! We also use one particular credit card tied to a frequent flyer program. And, we are using it religiously to earn miles.

Visit in Off Season: This is what makes me sad about it that ONLY my husband's side can do this because they are retired. I'd so hoped to see my dad and introduce my baby. But, I have to wait until next May to even plan a trip home.
I offered my parents if they are willing to travel during holiday season in December. But, I asked this too late in the year that they already made up their plans for coming December.

Ting with Business Trip: We'll investigate this option near future.

I'll keep saving $$, Miles, and do what ever to stay in touch with everyone back home.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Get a part time job with an airline. You get free flight benefits worldwide. You may have to throw bags on a cold Saturday morning, but when you and your family fly to Zurich in business or first class for $100 in taxes each....

[Anonymous]

Visit once a year and they visit (if possible) once a year.

[Anonymous]

Used to visit them twice a year, they came here twice a year. After a difficult Christmas dealing with the snow we switched to once a year - much easier. Air miles covers it every couple of years.