Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

How exactly was this mandatory minimum amount "agreed upon?" Did you take a survey of the class? Did every parent say that $X was ok with them?

I highly doubt that. I imagine that you, or you and the other room parents "agreed" upon the minimum amount and then tried to dictate that to the rest of the parents. Sorry, honey that ain't an agreed upon amount and no one has an obligation to accede to your demands. And your public shaming is disgusting and I would do everything in my power to make sure you could never be a room parent again.

We donate and contribute to our kids' classrooms, but if I saw a room parent sending out emails with the names of families who had not contributed, I would raise a huge stink. I'd probably take it to the principal. These donations are not mandatory, no matter what you say. It's a public school and you don't have to pay to attend.

+1. Work with the funds you have. If that means a party with pretzels and mini cupcakes served on paper towel (10$ total) then great. The only time I’ve ever heard parenrs complain was when the room parent was a hot mess and failed to invite most of the parents to one of the class parties. Otherwise people don’t much care.

But did your parents show up every time you ate a cupcake at school? I'm not even sure why all the parents need to be there. Maybe two or three to help with logistics, but I don't see why I have to take off yet another day from work to watch my kid eat cake. Agree that it's some weird Pinteresty mom thing dreamed up to fill up the empty hours.

Our school limits it to 3 parents in the classroom for parties. It's perfect. A few years ago, parties had become chaos with a ton of parents in the classrooms, which of course snow-balls, because no one wants Larla to be the only one without a mom there. Yes, there are a few uppity moms who are oh-so-bent-out-of-shape because they can only volunteer at one party a year (and every week in the cafeteria, and every other day in the library, and once a month in the classroom...) but overall everyone was really happy with the change.

[Anonymous]

People may appreciate being asked for money for particular things throughout the year rather than for one lump sum at the beginning. Also, have people bring food or pay for food for specific parties. We have much higher contribution rates than you, which could be due to a number of different factors, but we do both of the things I mentioned so perhaps that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People may appreciate being asked for money for particular things throughout the year rather than for one lump sum at the beginning. Also, have people bring food or pay for food for specific parties. We have much higher contribution rates than you, which could be due to a number of different factors, but we do both of the things I mentioned so perhaps that helps.

Most people if they can will chip in for specific things. Many people see the hazard in having a 'room fund' which collects $100 per child x 20-25 kids and is managed by a 'room parent' with little accountability and practically no oversight. People don't really know what that money is spent for or why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:classic DCUM... OP posts silly thread vent showing lack of self awareness and respect for different opinions... DCUM chastizes OP... everyone sighs "that was fun!" stay golden DCUM, stay golden

Don't forget to add: OP really digs in on ridiculous issues like how expensive pizza is, how it's easier and cheaper for her to buy pizza than to ask people to contribute to snacks, and how much more expensive nut-free food is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People may appreciate being asked for money for particular things throughout the year rather than for one lump sum at the beginning. Also, have people bring food or pay for food for specific parties. We have much higher contribution rates than you, which could be due to a number of different factors, but we do both of the things I mentioned so perhaps that helps.

Most people if they can will chip in for specific things. Many people see the hazard in having a 'room fund' which collects $100 per child x 20-25 kids and is managed by a 'room parent' with little accountability and practically no oversight. People don't really know what that money is spent for or why.

This. I donate stuff for specific events, but I'd be pretty wary of donating a bunch of money to some random room parent.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

When my DS teacher asks for classroom supplies, I provide supplies. Occassionally I bring in a box of granola bars for the teacher to provide kids who forgot snacks. I try and volunteer my time when I can. I chip in for gifts and the like. I can do those things so I do them. Not everyone can and I get that. the idea that there are room parents collecting “dues” is mind boogling. Not every parent is in the financial position that I am. This is public school, the only dues a family has are their taxes, everything else is a bonus if the family has it.

Stop judging people based on what you choose to do. Different people have different priorities and different needs.

Not every can, but many can and choose not to which is fine, but don't play the I'm broke game when you have two nicer cars and a huge house with a nanny. We've never collected. We ask for donations and if that doesn't happen either the room parent/s pay or teacher pays or it doesn't happen. OP overspent which is the real issue and is now demanding more money, which isn't ok. I don't care if no one donates but I do care when people are smug about it when their kids enjoy it and they can afford it and its only 2-3 parties a year. The worst are people who can afford it but expect others to do it all, including those snacks you and I provide as we don't want to see their kids going without. I'd far rather pay for the entire party if parents were chipping in supplies and snacks for the rest of the year. I easily spend a few hundred on classroom stuff per classroom, but its a lot cheaper than private and if you've ever been to the parties, you will see the kids really enjoy them. For some kids, its the only parties they are invited to.

I can hear your violin playing all the way in NY where I'm on a work trip. Seriously, read your post out loud to someone and ask them to tell you how you sound. You gripe about parents who don't contribute (how on earth are these people being smug about that?!?) but then want people to pat you on the back for buying their children snacks so they don't have to sit alone in a corner. And the kids whose only parties are the classroom parties? Your post makes it clear that you don't really give a shit about those kids. You are so transparent it's shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never been a room parent. Rarely contribute.

I love my kid. I just don't care about your email.

Your kid knows you don't care when you are one of the few parents who don't come and they are looking really sad knowing you don't care even if you love your child. Not to worry, the rest of us will pick up the slack and they will know they can count on us at school and field trips as you are the parent who will never be there.

I am an educator. I have the same days off as my kid. I get THREE personal days a year, and I use them to take a few religious holidays that are not on the school calendar, or as a travel day for a special occasion (like getting to an out of town wedding). With three flexible days a year don't dare tell me I don't care about my child because I'm not there to hand out candy and open juice boxes for a Hallmark/Pinterest "holiday."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a few reminders to the room parents out there:

- Donations are optional.
- Parent participation is optional.
- Room Parent is a volunteer position.
- You are owed nothing for this volunteer work including (but not limited to) praise, thank you's, attention, or support.


Signed, A room mom who is happy to help with or without your support.

X1,000,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People may appreciate being asked for money for particular things throughout the year rather than for one lump sum at the beginning. Also, have people bring food or pay for food for specific parties. We have much higher contribution rates than you, which could be due to a number of different factors, but we do both of the things I mentioned so perhaps that helps.

That’s a bitch to collect multiple times per year. That’s definitely not the way to do it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why do they need pizza?

Shouldn't you be planning within the money you have?

I find it cheaper to do pizza and a few other things then tons of random snacks. Kids will almost always eat the pizza (in less a food allergy). I do it as a way to cut down my costs.

It isn't working.

You need to plan with the money you have, not ask for more. You don't need "tons of random snacks" either.

Sounds to me like you don't budget very well.

How is pizza ever going to be cheaper than asking people to bring in cheese sticks and fruit OR pretzels and fruit? It's not.

You can’t have those snack items for kids in 5th-6th grade. Some of these kids are adult sized. You need some kind of a meal.

No you don't.

You do for our fifth grade class. The 2 parties this year - at the teacher’s request - are during lunchtime. She asked that the party include lunch. So we have to have a meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need pizza?

Shouldn't you be planning within the money you have?

I find it cheaper to do pizza and a few other things then tons of random snacks. Kids will almost always eat the pizza (in less a food allergy). I do it as a way to cut down my costs.

It isn't working.

You need to plan with the money you have, not ask for more. You don't need "tons of random snacks" either.

Sounds to me like you don't budget very well.

How is pizza ever going to be cheaper than asking people to bring in cheese sticks and fruit OR pretzels and fruit? It's not.

You can’t have those snack items for kids in 5th-6th grade. Some of these kids are adult sized. You need some kind of a meal.

No you don't.

You do for our fifth grade class. The 2 parties this year - at the teacher’s request - are during lunchtime. She asked that the party include lunch. So we have to have a meal.

Sounds like a good opportunity to rent a taco truck or a smoothie bar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People may appreciate being asked for money for particular things throughout the year rather than for one lump sum at the beginning. Also, have people bring food or pay for food for specific parties. We have much higher contribution rates than you, which could be due to a number of different factors, but we do both of the things I mentioned so perhaps that helps.

That’s a bitch to collect multiple times per year. That’s definitely not the way to do it.

It is, unless you want people to roll their eyes and respond with " I'm not giving you $100 ". People are also naturally suspicious when asked to give money without being directly able to see what it is spent on.

[Anonymous]

My kids ES asks for a voluntary donation of $25 at the start of each year. It goes into a class treasury (by which I mean a grade level account, usable by all of the classes in that grade, and overseen by a grade level treasurer who is not a room parent). It's made very clear what the money is for - staff and teacher appreciation week events planned by the PTA, crafts for 2-3 class parties/year, and grade-wide activities like Colonial Day, etc. all of which is budgeted for based on how much is in the account. Also directly stated is what the money *doesn't* cover, including food for parties and holiday/end of year teacher gifts. For parties, room parents create a Sign Up Genius and solicit donations such as chips, veggies, water bottles, cookies, and basic paper goods. Any money left at the end of the year carries over with the class, which really helps given that 6th grade expenses are a bit higher with the addition of class t-shirts and the year end farewell ceremony and party. I've had a kid at this school for the past decade and have never 1) seen pizza, or any full meal for that matter, at a class party or 2) been asked to donate more because the account was misspent and couldn't cover costs mid-year.

[Anonymous]

We also do not do pizza at our school parties.
We also don’t do class gifts for teachers from the funds.