First day of day care - how to plan & what to look for, good and bad
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Anonymous
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My 4 month old baby is starting day care tomorrow for the first time. I'm scared ****less about it. I haven't found a day care provider who I love or even really like after 8 months of searching, but I used up all of my leave and my husband used up all but a week of his leave and so tomorrow is D-day. We're starting with an in-home provider who seems ok (like I didn't weep with despair when I left her house the first time we visited), but she has 8 kids right now and ideally we were looking for a provider who had fewer than 5, since our son was a preemie and his doctors said the fewer kids he's exposed to this year, the better. Anyway, we're stuck with her for now, and tomorrow is the first day.
Any tips for planning for those of you who have BTDT? Is there anything I should be looking for when I pick him up to have a sense of how his day went? For planning, I am packing a backpack with: * A container of wipes * A package of diapers * Spare feety pajamas and a spare onesie * Two pacifiers * A blanket that I'm sleeping with tonight Do people bring breast milk bottles in a cooler or what? Do you leave the carseat at the day care? For when I pick him up, I figure I'll look out for how tired he looks, if he looks clean and rested (I don't expect he'll nap well at first since he's not used to noise, but who knows), if it looks like the diaper has been changed thoroughly...what else to look for? I'm so undone by leaving him with someone else. I hate it so much. Any wisdom or tips are welcome! |
Anonymous
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You shouldn't need a cooler for the BM since they'll have a fridge there. Just take a bag for them to put the empties in. You can take the care seat in if you want or just carry your kid in and leave it in the car. Your choice. They may not let you leave the blanket but it depends on the daycare.
As for what to look for, it's hard to tell on the first day. Your kid will likely be overwhelmed from all the activity. It takes at least a week for them to get in the daycare groove so don't freak at missed naps etc. They should give you a sheet that shows what happened that day (feedings, naps etc). The important thing is to stop freaking out. It's okay. Your kid will be okay. I freaked too and cried the first day but my DD ended up loving daycare. She wiggles with excitement every day and she started when she was 5 months old. Hang in there and try not to worry! |
Anonymous
Thanks for your kind reply! I would be so happy if he ends up loving it. Won't bother with a cooler, then. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| Definitely don't be surprised if he's tired. Our LO is just getting back into a nap groove after a month in daycare. there is just so much to watch it's hard to get her to sleep. Definitely check to make sure you are getting a sheet or run down on how many diapers, bottles, naps. IT will be very helpful to have all of that logged when he starts getting a cold. |
Anonymous
| Count exactly how many workers are there - ask to take a "tour" of the place in action even though really you are just doing a head count. |
Anonymous
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My daycare provider gave us a piece of paper every day that showed when baby napped (and how long), had diaper changed (pee or poo), drank milk (and how much) and anything else out of the ordinary. It really helped me have a better sense of his day and I could see if he had a poor nap and would be ready for early bedtime.
I would also try to do some earlier "surprise" pick ups to see what is happening when the daycare provider isn't expecting you (this is how my friend found out that her kids watched TV during the day). |
Anonymous
| Look into a nanny share. I had serious anxiety when it came to daycare and decided to go this route. Our nanny was amazing. She had individual care with one other child that was the same age. Our nanny sent me pictures every day and just in general made me feel better about leaving her with a "stranger". |
Anonymous
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good luck, OP. my little one started daycare at 4 months and I was a wreck. and baby girl took a little while to adjust too. didn't sleep at all for the first week! i was so upset! she is now 8 months old and gets SO EXCITED in the morning when she sees her caregiver. i swear she's going to say her name before she says mama.
be sure to check in the daycare about anything else they might want you bring - extra blanket, bib, etc. they started requested at least 2 clean outfits on hand for my little poomonster. definitely get answers to your questions about how the day goes, when she naps, etc, but don't freak out and pull her immediately if it isn't going how you hoped. everyone told me "give it two weeks before you decide anything drastic". 2 weeks later, baby girl was settled in and happy! |
Anonymous
I would love to do nanny share, but we just can't afford it. Our home day care is $275/week and that's about the most we can do. I haven't seen any nanny shares that would come close to that cost. |
Anonymous
How is a nanny any less a stranger on day 1 than a daycare provider? Your rationale makes no sense. |
Anonymous
I wasn't the original poster but I understand the rationale. You develop a close relationship with a nanny, and instead of your kid laying in a crib staring at the ceiling all day, he is being cuddled by the nanny. More personal attention. OP, you may find a share that is in your price range, try posting on the nanny boards. Most are about $15-$20 an hour here, which at the $15/hour point, split between two families, is about what you are paying now. |
Anonymous
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Not PP, but give me a break. Babies in daycare don't "lay in a crib all day staring at the ceiling." Don't spout BS about situations you obviously unfamiliar with.
OP, most likely it will be fine. I agree with the PPs, give it a week to let DC adjust. |
Anonymous
Not PP, but my first kid went to daycare. There were many times I showed up unnanounced and my kid was either in a swing crying or in a crib crying. The providers were wonderful though. The fact of the matter is that with a daycare situation, there are less hands to soothe more babies, therefore, some will wait to be held. With my second, we did a nanny and I felt much better about going back to work. I had PPD and PPA, the nanny helped ease me into being okay with my situation |