Lots of questions about sisters/SIL, but few about brothers/BIL - why?

[Anonymous]

I find it interesting that there are so many questions about conflicts with sisters and sister-in-laws, but not so many about brothers and brothers-in-laws. Why do you think this is?

I have a great relationship with my sisters, and less with my brother (and minimal with his wife). I've written them off as incredibly selfish people, cumulatively - but since my brother is my relative, I hold him more responsible for his behavior. Do most people have better relationships with their brothers, or do you just have fewer expectations with brothers and BILs?

[Anonymous]

Low expectations -- most BILs are dolts.

[Anonymous]

I have no brothers and love my bil as a brother. But I also have no issues with my sisters. Lucky me!

[Anonymous]

Because women are catty bitches.

[Anonymous]

Because there are more women on this site. I interact more with my SIL than BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low expectations -- most BILs are dolts.

Different expectations for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because women are catty bitches.

+1

[Anonymous]

Because in most hetero marriages, the woman makes more choices about the joint family social calendar and often the woman takes on a more acive parenting role. This means that a SIL has more ability to interfere with your relationship with her spouse and children than a BIL would have.

I also think (most) sister-sister relationships are more fraught and complicated than (most) brother-sister ones. With same-gender siblings, there is more sharing of toys and clothes and rooms and also more comparison between the two by everyone under the sun. My brother and i haven't shared a room since I was 5, but my sister and I shared all through HS. I wore the same clothes as my sister either at the same time or by wearing her hand-me-downs. And we both know that she is prettier but that I am more academically gifted, etc. because everyone from the school bus driver to the store clerk to our favorite teachers would compare us. I am the middle hild with the same number of years between my sister and I and my brother and i and I NEVER heard comments about whether my brother and I looked alike, differences in our height, weight, build, hair, mannerisms, vocabulary, clothing style, personality, etc. but I heard all that and more with regards to my sister.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I don't know. My brother in law is a pain in the ass. He was treated like a prince by his mother and his family revolved around him so he expects us to do the same, and since my sister his wife is my parents' favorite, he usually gets his way.

[Anonymous]

Its a MAN'S world.

[Anonymous]

Because women are cray cray. Same reason there are a ton of MIL qs and few FIL ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because in most hetero marriages, the woman makes more choices about the joint family social calendar and often the woman takes on a more acive parenting role. This means that a SIL has more ability to interfere with your relationship with her spouse and children than a BIL would have.

I also think (most) sister-sister relationships are more fraught and complicated than (most) brother-sister ones. With same-gender siblings, there is more sharing of toys and clothes and rooms and also more comparison between the two by everyone under the sun. My brother and i haven't shared a room since I was 5, but my sister and I shared all through HS. I wore the same clothes as my sister either at the same time or by wearing her hand-me-downs. And we both know that she is prettier but that I am more academically gifted, etc. because everyone from the school bus driver to the store clerk to our favorite teachers would compare us. I am the middle hild with the same number of years between my sister and I and my brother and i and I NEVER heard comments about whether my brother and I looked alike, differences in our height, weight, build, hair, mannerisms, vocabulary, clothing style, personality, etc. but I heard all that and more with regards to my sister.

Summary: "Because women are catty bitches."

[Anonymous]

I have no expectations of my BIL, and he fulfills them nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no expectations of my BIL, and he fulfills them nicely.

Same here.