Mother in law and emphasis on looks

[Anonymous]

My mother in law is, in general ,a great grandmother to my six and two year olds. This summer she's been watching them two days a week along with their girl cousins.

She is really into the girly stuff with them... Constantly playing dress up, beauty parlor. The other day my younger daughter came home wearing eyebrow makeup, which bugged me... But what really got me was hearing her say to my six year old that she should eat less food so she doesn't get fat like grandpa.

Now, grandpa is fat and has a number of lifestyle related health issues. And I think she was mostly kidding, and grandpa and grandma said this all in fun. B it is not the first time I've heard her criticize her husbands weight in front of my daughter despite the fact that my husband has casually mentioned it bothered us.

Do I say something? We're moving soon (to LA, a looks conscious place) so I'm not sure it worth it. I I do what do I say? Seems so awkward...

[Anonymous]

I think LA is going to be your bigger problem. The important thing is for your girls to see you eat in moderation, work out in moderation, compliment your own looks, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I think LA is going to be your bigger problem. The important thing is for your girls to see you eat in moderation, work out in moderation, compliment your own looks, etc.

Definitely agree with this.

OP, I wouldn't say anything. Pick your battles--this isn't one.

[Anonymous]

I'd leave it if you are moving away from her and the kids won't see her often.

I lived for 10 years in LA and it really depends where you are whether this is a major issue. And for 6 year olds unless you are hanging out with starlets it won't be much different than here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I think LA is going to be your bigger problem. The important thing is for your girls to see you eat in moderation, work out in moderation, compliment your own looks, etc.

Say more about complimenting own looks... I don't say negative stud about myself in front of kids, but what would you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies so far... True the kids won't see her often but she does plan to come at least once or twice I. The next year for a week or so... Do we wait unil she shows the tendencies again at that point?

[Anonymous]

At this point I would probably wait. Or you can set the tone without alienating her. "Gosh, we are moving to LA and we really hope we can offer a balanced perspective about looks and weight" Try to enlist her "help" in teaching the girls to not focus on these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd leave it if you are moving away from her and the kids won't see her often.

I lived for 10 years in LA and it really depends where you are whether this is a major issue. And for 6 year olds unless you are hanging out with starlets it won't be much different than here.

I agree. This stereotype of LA is really limited to a few Westside neighborhoods. Doctors and lawyers and teachers here mostly look about the same as anywhere else.