Accidentally Prego w/#3 and Not Happy

[Anonymous]

Need some encouraging words here. I just found out I am pregnant. We already have 2 boys (3 and 1) and the thought of a third child is just...well...not particularly pleasant right now. I'm from a family of three siblings, so I don't know why I'm so upset about this, but this is just taking me completely by surprise. I'm trying to be happy and excited - like I was with my other 2 - but instead I just feel anxious and unsure. I will have 3 kids under 4!!! I work full time in a demanding job and already sometimes feel like I don't spend enough quality, one-on-one time with each child. DH is happy (or least he says he is). I am just having a hard time digesting this. Our house is too small and we'd have to buy a minivan.

Financially, I feel like we are in pretty good shape, but putting 3 kids through college?? Yikes.

I don't know. I guess I just need some positive stories. I don't have a bad relationship with my siblings, but it isn't great either.

Oh - and a word to the wise - if you are taking estrogen based birth control pills (the ones they give you when BFing), use back up.

[Anonymous]

Been there - unexpected, unwanted, unlooked for pregnancy. Who is now my one year old dd.

What can I say, if you believe in a higher power, maybe it was meant to be

Glad you are not on the "thinking about terminating" thread.

You won't really need a bigger house, at least two will be of the same sex, so pile em in together. Keeps em' warm at night.

The minivan you are right about. My sympathies.

This will be the child who takes care of you long after the others have run off!

[Anonymous]

Might not need a minivan right away.

[Anonymous]

I had 3 under 4 (intentionally) and the addition of the 3rd child is nowhere near as traumatic as the second.
Can't imagine life without my baby.
As you already know, you will love every bit of the new arrival - and you are giving the older sibs a huge gift!

[Anonymous]

Our third was an oops as well. Although we were considering a third, I was NOT ready. I had just gotten my body back, we were sleeping through the night, we were almost out of diapers, and our tiny house and car worked with two kids. So now my baby is three and I can't imagine our family without her. So yes we bought a minivan, eventually moved to a slightly bigger house, and we eat a lot of peanut butter. But boy is she a stitch, and the kids are now like three peas in a pod.

It will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Can I trade places with you??

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and am tempting every fate I can find to try to "accidentally" get pregnant. It's not working.

Count your blessings. And good luck!

[Anonymous]

My neighbor has 3 car seats in a Toyota Prius - maybe it is just buying new carseats that take up a smaller footprint.

[Anonymous]

your county doesn't offer free birth control?

shame on you!

every 13yo knows how it happens and how to avoid it.

face the consequences!

[Anonymous]

Can you read? OP used birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 3 under 4 (intentionally) and the addition of the 3rd child is nowhere near as traumatic as the second.
Can't imagine life without my baby.
As you already know, you will love every bit of the new arrival - and you are giving the older sibs a huge gift!

I totally agree with this. I felt like going from one to two was WAY harder than going from two to three. They say, after two you might as well have 5 because its all about the same. (Im not going to try that particular idea, however

Plus, we have an expedition not a minivan. So dont box yourself into having a minivan.

I think as Americans, we have this idea of "having" to do things a certain way, or the "perfect" way. Life is so precious and it's truly a gift, In 40 years are you going to be thinking "man, I wish we didnt drive that Minivan or live in that small house"? Probably wont even matter by then. They're just 'things' and I know we all want to keep up with the Jones' but try to relish more in the idea of all the exciting new things you and your family are going to have as a family of 5.

It's truly a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:your county doesn't offer free birth control?

shame on you!

every 13yo knows how it happens and how to avoid it.

face the consequences!

Hey now! Judge not. You don't know the circumstances.

I am not the OP, but I WAS using birth control that FAILED, and, since we knew it had failed, I ALSO took the morning after pill which didn't work. And I have my baby so don't you lecture other people about living with consequences.

As I found out to my detriment, there is a reason they don't say birth control is 100% effective.

If she is a married woman, there is no reason she should not be having sex not to mention, YOU try refusing to have sex with your husband because you "know how it happens and how to avoid it". Won't be married for long!!!

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks to all for the encouraging words. I have to laugh at the "face the consequences" post. It really isn't a DCUrbanMom thread without at least one of those posts.

And we were using birth control, but I didn't realize that you should not keep using the pills they give you when BFing after you've stopped (or to use backup).

I'm still pretty shocked at the whole thing. It isn't like we are newlyweds and getting in on all the time!

But I think I"m getting more used to the idea. And I know I will love this one just as much as my other 2. I feel a little guilty that my present baby (who is only 12 months) won't get to be my baby for much longer, but I guess he get a sibling who is only a year behind him in school. I'll have 3 teenagers in high school at the same time. So I guess I should make sure they all like the same sports!

Oh well - we aren't considering terminating (though I'm very pro-choice) - just b/c it doesn't feel like the right thing to do for us. So I guess we just need to get used to it. I think DH is excited about getting the new Volkswagen minivan anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think DH is excited about getting the new Volkswagen minivan anyway.

Brooke Shields has been warning people about this. He probably got you knocked up on purpose!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDZSxFLcMVg

[Anonymous]

Dear OP - we have 3 boys under 3 and so far we're managing (one 2 year old and twins). The twins were far from planned and I was nervous enough about having 2 so close together (my first was 13 months when I got pregnant). Anyway, the twins are now 4 months and I'm about to go back to work. Am hoping long term it will make things EASIER (all 3 can play together, I think they will end up only 1 grade apart due to the older one's fall birthday so will make drop offs and pick ups from schools easier, they can share clothes and shoes). Short term, so far we are managing w/o minivan (we have 3 car seats in a sedan). It's tight but we don't have to drive to often so are hoping we can make it to Feb or so and take advantage of some minivan sales. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP and also meant to add that we have a small house - 3 bedrooms and 2 of them pretty small. We've given the twins our master bedroom since there are 2 of them. Plus our living room/dining area is now 100% toddler/baby centric (ie toys, exersaucers, etc everywhere). It's actually not too bad and I feel like we can manage in the space for at least a couple of years...