Psychologist (Infertility) in VA

[Anonymous]

I have been through 2 failed IVF's in the last 5 months and I am completely obsessed with becoming pregnant. I have started acupunture but still feel emotionally on edge all of the time. Does anyone know of a psychologist who deals with infertility in the Fairfax, VA area? I would love to find one that is covered by Blue Cross, but at this point I am willing to pay out of pocket. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been through 2 failed IVF's in the last 5 months and I am completely obsessed with becoming pregnant. I have started acupunture but still feel emotionally on edge all of the time. Does anyone know of a psychologist who deals with infertility in the Fairfax, VA area? I would love to find one that is covered by Blue Cross, but at this point I am willing to pay out of pocket. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

HI, I don't know of any psychologists in Fairfax but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'm not too religiously but pray that you will have your wish soon. This is one tough journey but know that we are with you on this board.

[Anonymous]

No I don't, but I also would like to find one to help me. I am TTC for almost 4 years now, and frankly, I am VERY tired emotionally and physically. I hate the emotional roller coaster every month - high hopes at half of my cycle and crashing hard the other half. I hate putting my life " on hold" waiting for this baby that never comes; peeing in a stick almost every morning to check the fertility monitor and/or OPK (but I hate more when I forget to do it); I dearly miss my regular soda and to drink coffee whenever I wanted; I gag at the smell of grapefruit juice and at the sight of all the pills I have to take daily; I also dread having "to have sex" in a schedule.... But most of all, I HATE, HATE HATE that I am often dismissed by everyone around me when they say things like:

a) "Oh, you are so young!”
b) "You have plenty of time, don't worry"
c) "I think we should keep trying naturally"
d) "It takes time, getting pregnant is actually really hard" (oh, you think?!)
e) "Did you consider adoption?"
f) "Babies are overrated"
g) "Relax... "

The only thing I really enjoy during all this process, is my sacred acupuncture - It really makes me feel good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I don't, but I also would like to find one to help me. I am TTC for almost 4 years now, and frankly, I am VERY tired emotionally and physically. I hate the emotional roller coaster every month - high hopes at half of my cycle and crashing hard the other half. I hate putting my life " on hold" waiting for this baby that never comes; peeing in a stick almost every morning to check the fertility monitor and/or OPK (but I hate more when I forget to do it); I dearly miss my regular soda and to drink coffee whenever I wanted; I gag at the smell of grapefruit juice and at the sight of all the pills I have to take daily; I also dread having "to have sex" in a schedule.... But most of all, I HATE, HATE HATE that I am often dismissed by everyone around me when they say things like:

a) "Oh, you are so young!”
b) "You have plenty of time, don't worry"
c) "I think we should keep trying naturally"
d) "It takes time, getting pregnant is actually really hard" (oh, you think?!)
e) "Did you consider adoption?"
f) "Babies are overrated"
g) "Relax... "

Hello pp, I am completely sympathetic for you and cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis. DH and I tried for a year and that was only a year so I cannot imagine going through the emotional rollercoaster for 4-years. I hope your dream will come true soon! My question for you is what would you prefer people say to you. I am asking not to be rude or patronizing but because we have a close friends who has been trying to conceive for almost 2-years and DH and I are often finding ourselves feeling uncomfortable and not sure how to handle/respond to their situation. Any advice is appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Hello pp, I am completely sympathetic for you and cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis. DH and I tried for a year and that was only a year so I cannot imagine going through the emotional rollercoaster for 4-years. I hope your dream will come true soon! My question for you is what would you prefer people say to you. I am asking not to be rude or patronizing but because we have a close friends who has been trying to conceive for almost 2-years and DH and I are often finding ourselves feeling uncomfortable and not sure how to handle/respond to their situation. Any advice is appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:No I don't, but I also would like to find one to help me. I am TTC for almost 4 years now, and frankly, I am VERY tired emotionally and

physically. I hate the emotional roller coaster every month - high hopes at half of my cycle and crashing hard the other half. I hate putting my life " on hold" waiting for this baby that never comes; peeing in a stick almost every morning to check the fertility monitor and/or OPK (but I hate more when I forget to do it); I dearly miss my regular soda and to drink coffee whenever I wanted; I gag at the smell of grapefruit juice and at the sight of all the pills I have to take daily; I also dread having "to have sex" in a schedule.... But most of all, I HATE, HATE HATE that I am often dismissed by everyone around me when they say things like:

a) "Oh, you are so young!”
b) "You have plenty of time, don't worry"
c) "I think we should keep trying naturally"
d) "It takes time, getting pregnant is actually really hard" (oh, you think?!)
e) "Did you consider adoption?"
f) "Babies are overrated"
g) "Relax... "

The only thing I really enjoy during all this process, is my sacred acupuncture - It really makes me feel good

[Anonymous]

Just tell your friend what you just told here - that you know what she is going through but sometimes don't know what to say. And also that you are supportive and if she needs someone to talk to, you will be there for her (assuming you are close friends?).

[Anonymous]

OP -- I hear you about the emotional roller coaster. It is so tough. Your RE should be able to put you in touch w/a psychologist. I am working with Shady Grove DC and they gave me a list of therapists they work with who specialize in infertility. I haven't seen any (yet) so can't recommend anybody specific off the list for you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear about your empty arms. I know the feeling but not in the same way. I want to let you know that if you are stressing a tremdous amount about this that there is an issue with stress. It can also make it harder for you to concieve. Weight can also play a factor as well. That may not even be an issue for you but it is known for others and once they lost weight the issue was less a problem. I had empty arms for 14 years. Wanting a child and I do understand how that feels but and I know you might not want to hear this .... be patient. Pray about it and I will pray for you. Clear your mind and your soul and just let it all go. Stress isn't good. Think yourself pregnant but don't stress yourself away from it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I wanted to thank everyone for there responses. I know how much that stress can effect my abilities to get pregnant so I am trying to find ways to deal with that. I ended up finding a Psychologist in Falls Church and started last week. It is nice to have someone that I can talk to since I don't have another outlet besides my DH. Hopefully between the therapist, acupuncture, and yoga I can get my mind and body in the right place for my 3rd IVF cycle in January. Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I want to wish you the best, and also recommend Resolve.org, the national infertility foundation. It has some great BBs, filled with other people going through IF. Even the "graduates" come back and give great advice.

You have to sign up, which keeps things civil and helpful.

This site saved my site when I was dealing with IF five years ago. Good luck, and I'm sending tons of good thoughts your way.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Meant to say that the Resolve BBs saved my life. I felt so alone and depressed before I started visiting there.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thanks so much. I have contemplated officially joining Resolve, but haven yet. I currently use the Fertility Board on What to Expects website, but I will definitely check out Resolve. My therapist is trying to get me off the internet to clear my mind, which I am currently struggling with. Trying to stay away hopefully the holidays will make that easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks so much. I have contemplated officially joining Resolve, but haven yet. I currently use the Fertility Board on What to Expects website, but I will definitely check out Resolve. My therapist is trying to get me off the internet to clear my mind, which I am currently struggling with. Trying to stay away hopefully the holidays will make that easier.

PP here. Yes, your therapist is probably right, esp. over the holidays. But when you're ready, you'll probably find some great support on Resolve. I think it's far far better than a general parenting site like this one. Believe it or not, I got together in real life with eight women from this area thanks to the Resolve board. Every single one of us was struggling for a long time with IF - and every single one of us has children now - including one adopted child. All nine of us live in this area.

Also, there's another board http://www.babystepsforum.com which was started by a few of the Resolve grads. Primarily it's for moms who have dealt with IF and now have children BUT it also has women dealing with IF - again, the emotional support is absolutely amazing. And these women know EVERYTHING about IF and you can ask any question and get it answered in a knowledgeable and non-judgmental way.

Again, good luck to you, and I hope everything goes well for you over the holidays.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who has been infertile longer than me and is also getting very tired of the standard responses people have for her when they learn about her infertility. I've been guilty of saying one of those standard comments you listed (I told her, "But you are still young, you have time to still keep trying). But if I offer my friend someone to talk to if she ever wants that,what if she actually comes to me one day and tells me she's ready to talk to me... what can I possibly say to her that will comfort her?