s/o on work/life balance (how much should I work)

[Anonymous]

I am a mid-level professional in a mid-size non-profit. I am very happy with my job, like the people I work with, am passionate about our mission, and generally feel lucky to have landed here. I also feel like I am well compensated (although I make less than people with comparable titles in the for-profit sector). We are all salaried and all of us with the same amount of experience make the same amount of money and we get raises in tandem. We rarely get bonuses, but if we do, it's rarely just one person who gets a bonus -- one team will get a bonus or something like that. The only reward for the high achievers is possible eventual promotion into management, which I am not gunning for. A lot of our work is self-directed, so someone who wants to embark on big new projects can ask to do so, and someone who doesn't can hang back and just take the assignments that come to them. I usually fall into the latter category, although I have initiated some (smaller) projects.

The problem is that most of my co-workers at my level or higher work more hours that me, and they often seem harried and busy (staying late, talking about being busy, hustling and bustling about the office). Many of them tell me they work from home in the evenings and on weekends. I only work from home on weekends or evenings when it is absolutely necessary to make a deadline -- this averages out to about 2-3 times a month. My co-workers are also are more active after hours (sending work related emails, etc.) whereas I only even check work email after hours if I'm working on something particularly urgent. Twice in the past six months I have turned down co-workers (not supervisors, but peers) who asked me if I could put in some extra hours on a group project over the weekend. (Both times I actually did have family obligations that made this very difficult.) I often eat lunch at my desk and rarely socialize much around the office because I do work very hard while I'm at work. In part because I don't spend a lot of time checking in on my co-workers throughout the day, I'm not sure if my work-late office mates are so busy because they are socializing and going out to lunch during the day, or if they are taking on more work than me, but they ACT like it's the latter.

I have never been told by my supervisor that there is a problem with the amount of work I do, and I have known (one) co-worker who definitely did less than me (although she was known as the office slacker and left the organization after a few years there). The only people I've ever heard of getting fired did really bad things, like curse out a supervisor, fake a timesheet, lie on their resume, etc. So what I'm saying is, I don't think my job is in jeopardy due to the amount of work I do, or don't do. But I feel guilty leaving on time when my co-workers are staying late day after day. I believe in our work and want to do my fair share -- but I also don't think it's reasonable for the organization to take on more work than can be accomplished by everyone working hard, 40 hours a week. Going into this job, there was no indication up front that everyone should expect 50+ hour work weeks, and I don't want to work that much. Am I wrong to push back and tell people that no, I'm not working more than 40 hours a week as a general matter of course?

And. . . I don't know if this matters, but I am the only person in my level or higher who has a young child and a FT WOH spouse. All my colleagues and higher ups have either a) older children or b) young children and a stay at home spouse or c) no children.

Anyway, I guess I'd just like to hear what other working parents think about this. Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous]

Keep doing what you're doing. I spent 12+ years in the nonprofit sector, and a lot of organizations will burn you out if you're not careful. There's a dangerous combination: people who are "true believers" plus orgs not having enough funding to adequately staff. So some staffers will fall into the trap of doing 2 or 3 jobs because there's no money to hire anyone and they believe the success of the mission is so critically important.

As long as you are being a team player and chipping in during those super busy times, you're fine. Don't let work consume your life.

[Anonymous]

You keep doing what you are doing. If you have annual performance reviews, you could initiate a conversation about your productivity, NOT about the hours you work, though I wouldn't do it. If you do decide to bring it up, you should think long and hard in advance about what you want from it. Do you want some formal recognition of your boundaries? Are you prepared to change if your boss says s/he wants more hours?
The reality is some people always seem busy/complain of being busy because that's who they are. I've worked with a some of them. All those hours they work may or may not translate into being productive. If you are being productive in your hours and giving good value to your organization, then you should feel comfortable with that.
One thing: when there truly is a deadline that needs to be met requiring evening/weekend work, you should try your best to contribute in some way. If you are going out of town, fine, but you should try to find some time to offer. Say "I can work for a few hours Friday night to draft the document and then send it out for others to edit", that kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you're working smarter and they're working harder.

[Anonymous]

Yup, keep doing what you are doing. I'm in the same boat. I work really hard during the workday and do a very good job. I'll work evenings/weekends if required. I see others staying late but honestly they aren't more productive or doing a better job than I am so I don't worry about it. If you aren't in an up or out environment where long hours are expected then don't sweat it. I purposely left a job that require 60+ hour weeks for more work/life balance. I'm not doing that again. Fine for an important project or to meet a deadline every once in a while, but not on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have good boundaries established and are a contributor. I don't see a problem.

[Anonymous]

You probably fall into this category, which is a good thing.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/318513.page#3800913

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you all for the reassurance! I appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mid-level professional in a mid-size non-profit. I am very happy with my job, like the people I work with, am passionate about our mission, and generally feel lucky to have landed here. I also feel like I am well compensated (although I make less than people with comparable titles in the for-profit sector). We are all salaried and all of us with the same amount of experience make the same amount of money and we get raises in tandem. We rarely get bonuses, but if we do, it's rarely just one person who gets a bonus -- one team will get a bonus or something like that. The only reward for the high achievers is possible eventual promotion into management, which I am not gunning for. A lot of our work is self-directed, so someone who wants to embark on big new projects can ask to do so, and someone who doesn't can hang back and just take the assignments that come to them. I usually fall into the latter category, although I have initiated some (smaller) projects.

The problem is that most of my co-workers at my level or higher work more hours that me, and they often seem harried and busy (staying late, talking about being busy, hustling and bustling about the office). Many of them tell me they work from home in the evenings and on weekends. I only work from home on weekends or evenings when it is absolutely necessary to make a deadline -- this averages out to about 2-3 times a month. My co-workers are also are more active after hours (sending work related emails, etc.) whereas I only even check work email after hours if I'm working on something particularly urgent. Twice in the past six months I have turned down co-workers (not supervisors, but peers) who asked me if I could put in some extra hours on a group project over the weekend. (Both times I actually did have family obligations that made this very difficult.) I often eat lunch at my desk and rarely socialize much around the office because I do work very hard while I'm at work. In part because I don't spend a lot of time checking in on my co-workers throughout the day, I'm not sure if my work-late office mates are so busy because they are socializing and going out to lunch during the day, or if they are taking on more work than me, but they ACT like it's the latter.

I have never been told by my supervisor that there is a problem with the amount of work I do, and I have known (one) co-worker who definitely did less than me (although she was known as the office slacker and left the organization after a few years there). The only people I've ever heard of getting fired did really bad things, like curse out a supervisor, fake a timesheet, lie on their resume, etc. So what I'm saying is, I don't think my job is in jeopardy due to the amount of work I do, or don't do. But I feel guilty leaving on time when my co-workers are staying late day after day. I believe in our work and want to do my fair share -- but I also don't think it's reasonable for the organization to take on more work than can be accomplished by everyone working hard, 40 hours a week. Going into this job, there was no indication up front that everyone should expect 50+ hour work weeks, and I don't want to work that much. Am I wrong to push back and tell people that no, I'm not working more than 40 hours a week as a general matter of course?

And. . . I don't know if this matters, but I am the only person in my level or higher who has a young child and a FT WOH spouse. All my colleagues and higher ups have either a) older children or b) young children and a stay at home spouse or c) no children.

Anyway, I guess I'd just like to hear what other working parents think about this. Thanks for reading.

NO, this doesn't matter. Work is work -- you get paid for your work, not according to what your family life is. Even if everyone else in the office were single and had no obligations and you had 3 kids, it wouldn't matter -- the same amount of hours/effort should be expected for the same amount of pay.

Part of a salaried position is the expectation that you are paid for the work, not for the number of hours. So if everyone else is putting in more hours than you to get work done and you are refusing to help on group projects, it is a problem. If your supervisor has mentioned it, it is a problem.

No, you don't need to suddenly work 50 hours a week. But you do need to help out and some weeks put in more than 40 hours.

[Anonymous]

What all of the PPs here seem to miss is that OP's supervisor has already said it is a problem!

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I misread. I thought OP said "I have been told by my supervisor."

disregard my previous 2 posts.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I am glad to hear so many people chiming in with "Not a problem, keep on keepin' on."
I have always been an overachiever, but a big fan of working smarter, not harder (actually, almost all of my colleagues fall into this category also). Many of my superiors seem to see late nights, weekends, and the like as the sign of "a really hard worker."
We get our $hit done. We kick a$$ and take names and all we hear is that we "need to put in more hours" because... well, because it would "look good," I guess?
I occasionally question if our "work smarter not harder" mantra is off base. Doesn't sound like it.